I am having trouble sleeping, so I started contemplating "things" (yes, I know not very conductive to sleeping!) .. and I was thinking about friends - I have had one close friend in recent years (other than my best friend - my husband) and she has had some problems and cut herself off from me.
This led me to start thinking about past friendships. As a kid, I didn't have many. I was shy, embarassed to bring people home - as both parents were alcholics and I was always afraid of what they'd do next. Got kicked out of the house at 17, still went to college but beleiving even my alcholic family couldn't love me - my self confidence wasn't conductive to making friends - as I felt "not worthy". Well, many years later - I am worthy (thank goodness I have worked all of that out!), but still don't have close friends (except this one)... and I wonder why? Is it because I am used to be a "loner"? Is it just me? Or am I still afraid, and my self confidence is not where I think it is?
I think a little of both. Anyone else in the same "boat"?
This led me to start thinking about past friendships. As a kid, I didn't have many. I was shy, embarassed to bring people home - as both parents were alcholics and I was always afraid of what they'd do next. Got kicked out of the house at 17, still went to college but beleiving even my alcholic family couldn't love me - my self confidence wasn't conductive to making friends - as I felt "not worthy". Well, many years later - I am worthy (thank goodness I have worked all of that out!), but still don't have close friends (except this one)... and I wonder why? Is it because I am used to be a "loner"? Is it just me? Or am I still afraid, and my self confidence is not where I think it is?
I think a little of both. Anyone else in the same "boat"?