Weightloss advice

One more thing...I do eat sweets like cake or a cookie (no candy) only on special occasions, so I get a treat once in a while.

Vjoy....I did not know that about the metabolife, I have also been taking it.
Nena, good luck with the weight loss, I too need to lose about 20 lbs....and it is SOOOOOOO hard!!!!!! I have to cook these great suppers for my hubby, and there is no way I can make enchilladas, or whatever, and then watch him eat it, while I munch on a salad. I think if I were single it would be easier.
It is so depressing though!!!! I hate looking in the mirror and seeing all that extra fat.

Here is something I received in an e-mail, about dieting that I thought was hilarious! Of course it won't help us any, but it does make you stop and laugh and hey, laughing has to burn off SOME calories doesn't it? :laughing:






A Humorous Commentary by Hallmark


Character, Maxine on healthy living (ARA)

Dear fitness buffs


Pretty much everyone in America wants to lose weight, and frankly, I don't think people need to worry about it so much. As far as I'm concerned, until you need more than a three-way mirror to see your entire butt, you don't really have a problem.


When people say things like, "I eat healthy because it makes me feel better," they're lying. Eating broccoli may make you look better. Unless you get it stuck in your teeth. Or unless it makes you gag, which is likely. You don't look too good if you're gagging. For feeling better, though, chocolate wins every time. Nobody should cut chocolate out of their diet. At least, nobody who's a woman. Chocolate is our reward for putting up with men.


And what's up with people saying, "I exercise so I'll have more energy?" What kind of logic is that? Do they go on daily shopping sprees so that they'll have more money? In the winter, do they take off their coats to get warm? If you need energy, here's what you do: drink lots and lots of coffee. Try it, it really works!

If you want to lose weight: Don't inhale the contents of your fridge. Oh yeah, and keep in mind that muffins don't qualify as healthy snacks if they're bigger than your head.



Diet is a four-letter word

If you need a more complicated diet plan than that, there's no shortage of 'em. The other day, I was looking through as many magazines as I could before they threatened to kick me out of the bookstore. Too bad it wasn't one of those giant chain bookstores. You could move into one of those places and they'd never complain, as long as you occasionally bought one of their six-buck coffees. Or a muffin bigger than your head.


Anyway, from the magazines, I was able to determine what the "experts" consider the perfect diet for someone of my age, height, ward, precinct, and trash-pick-up day. As I recall, it went something like this:

Breakfast: unbuttered toast, orange rind, 1/4 cup of decaf, and one fried egg (smelled, not eaten).

Lunch: 3 medium-length celery stalks, lick the lid of a skim milk bottle, and a raisin. Then, for dessert Oh, wait, the raisin was the dessert.

Dinner: Any combination of the above plus fat-free soy-based, plain yogurt with a cherry on top (cherry for decoration only).


If I actually ate what I'm supposed to, I'd lose weight, because I'd never feel like eating. Do the weight-loss wackos who come up with these diets actually try them?! I don't see why my favorite foods are never included. Jelly donuts, for instance. They've got fruit in them! How could they not be healthy?



They're always changing what's healthy, anyway. Pork rinds, for instance, are now healthy. They have nine grams of protein. Wine is now healthy; a little wine is good for the heart. (And a great big whine is good for the attitude.) Ice cream -- I mean the real kind, not frozen yogurt; freeze yogurt all you want, it's still not ice cream -- is not healthy, but give it a couple of years.


The fact that no one's quite sure what is actually good for you doesn't stop you from being bombarded with diet advice. "You can put salsa on anything!" one diet guru says. Sure you can. It just doesn't always taste good. Who says biotechnology is bad? "Drink six to eight glasses of water a day!" The only way I could do that would be to put a water cooler in my bathroom. "You should treat your body like a temple." I do. One where junk food
comes to worship.


Right now I'm on the no-carb diet. I don't eat any carburetors. Okay, the diet is a little more restrictive than that, but it's still not a bad one, as diets go. Basically you eat meat. Lots and lots of meat. Meat trucks pull up to your door. Birds of prey circle your garbage disposal. After three weeks on that diet, you begin to pack a club and look for mastodons.


Get in shape? I say get used to the shape you're in



Of course, if diets aren't your thing, the other way to lose weight is to exercise. I remember that once, when I went out early to get the neighbor's paper, I saw people running down the street. Naturally, I looked for the rabid dog or the invading army tanks or something that would make seemingly sane people get up and run like crazy people. Turned out they were crazy people.


I know someone who goes to a gym. She drives a mile to get there to walk on a treadmill. And she pays to go to this place. As far as I'm concerned, "gym" is for 5th graders who can't figure out how to forge a doctor's note to
get out of it.


Don't get me wrong. There are a few kinds of exercise I actually enjoy. Hang-gliding is exhilarating and it gives you a chance to see which of your neighbors has a pool, and when it's left unattended. Bodysurfing seems like a great idea, though so far, none of the guys at the beach will let me ride 'em. Kayaking is also fun, even if it does sound like the noise you make when you're trying to clear phlegm out of your throat in the morning. I don't make that sound quite so much since I quit smoking. Yeah, I did it. Yeah, it was hard. But it was worth it, because now I get to make fun of people who smoke. I suppose it might have been easier for me to quit than for some. I've always been pretty good at kickin' butts.


Which brings me to the one workout I really enjoy:
Tae-Bo. Kickin' butt to music? I should have thought of that years ago!




With attitude,

Maxine,

Your queen of quips

It was really hard to lose weight when I was with my husband, because his mother knows how to do tamales and other such goodies. He eats alot of fat and it was hard to eat salads and low fat food, while he eats a plate full of hot, delicious meals.

Isn't that just hilarious??? :laughing: Like I said, it won't help us much, but I thought it was worth sharing!

Oops, Nena. looks like you and I were posting at the same time...yes, I know what you mean, it is really hard to give up that fattening stuff....that's the best kind!

I have good news. I started to lose weight. I didn't officially start on sunday like I said I did, but I have been eating better. And yesterday I weight myself and I have lost two pounds, so that means I am on the right track. I was reading an article I found in a website and there is such a disease as binge eating disorder. The symptoms are eating out of control, eat what most people would thinkg is alot(two of the things I do), eat quickly, eat until full, eat when not even hungry, eat alone, and feel disgusted, depressed, or guilty about overeating. I will try and give you the website. If I can't get it on this thread, go to the address. The website is
www.niddk.nih.gov/health/nutrit/pubs/binge.htm
I believe I may have it and I will be trying to see a counselor about it. I do alot of the things they say. I believe that will help with my weightloss.

Instead of making spagehetti w/ ground beef - try ground turkey or chicken. It tastes just as good - if not better. It also helps if the food is slightly spicy to help w/ hunger pangs. Try stewing a chipotle pepper(smoked japelno) w/ the sauce. Make less sauce then normal & instead of covering the pasta with the sauce - mix it all together, that way you use less sauce.

I take it nobody found my Maxine post very funny? :LOL:

I am on a diet at the moment....it is gret, i am on a high protein, low carb diet. If you love meat then this is the diet for you I have to lose 10 Kgs in 6 weeks for my first endurance race so i am being real strict. I have lost 1 kg in 4 days on the diet so I think it is 2 working well with me. But hey nena - good luck with yours....maybe you will have to give me some of your meal plans to try ouy.

Debby:

I thought your article was funny. Sorry, I didn't see it until now. I think it is quite a take on the dieting scene. Maybe because of the length of it, some may not have read it or knew it would be funny. Don't dispair, not everyone responds and they probably thought it was funny, too.

About 3 years ago, I lost 30 pounds (from 200 to 170), and in the last year another 10. Here are some of the things I have found work well to help in losing weight and keeping it off.

Eat whatever you want, but only a little bit. If you love enchiladas, have one, or a half of one, with your salad. Freeze the rest if there's a lot. Same goes for sweets. I have tiny cappucino cups I use as ice cream bowls, so I feel like I "ate a whole bowl of ice cream", but only had about 100 calories worth. Or I'll cut a chocolate bar in half, eat one piece and put the other in the freezer. Then if I want it later I have to wait for it to thaw and then I know I really want it.

If you are sensitive to carbohydrates, like I am, it is best to eat some protein with every meal and snack, especially breakfast and morning snacks. If you find yourself tired about an hour after eating, or if you crave sweets and can't get full eating them, you might be insulin-resistant or carbo sensitive or whatever you want to call it. Protein is the answer. It keeps your appetite satisfied longer and stops the "kitchen grazing". As a snack, try cheese, a boiled or scrambled egg, tuna, sandwich meat, any protein. Add in something with lots of fibre (an apple, grain bread), and you have a snack that will last.

Definitely exercise. In the last three years I have gone from not owning sneakers to running 5K (a couple of miles) 2-3 times a week. Over the years, I did aquafit, swimming, walking, aerobics, cardio machines (like stepper, stationary bike), up to jogging now and I am going to get back into cross country skiing this winter. I have to change what I do every few months to keep from getting bored. Everyone wants to know the *best* exercise, but the best one is whatever exercise you will do on a regular basis.

Keep informed. The internet is a great tool for that. I spend some of my 'net time at WebMD, which is a great site for all health issues, but they have workout and diet "buddies" so you can work with someone for your goal, as well as nutrition and exercise message boards with lots of info and support.

And although Debbie's joke was funny, there are several "myths" in there that are the things that keep people from getting to a healthy weight.

I *do* feel better now that I've lost weight. I can run for the bus without fear of passing out, and I don't get sleepy and sluggish at inopportune times during the day.

And they are always *changing what's healthy*, but some things always have been. Vegetables of all kinds, soy foods, whole grains and, most importantly, moderation in all things.

Also, I've seen people here say "I only like fattening foods" or "I don't like to drink water" or "I don't like salad in the winter". But those are just things we tell ourselves. I didn't like drinking lots of water at first, either, but I did it. Consider that it's like medicine or surgery. It tastes bad or is uncomfortable now, but will benefit you in the future. It's not *fun* to go jogging, but I always feel better afterwards, both physically and mentally. The workout relieves stress, and I feel as though I've accomplished something, and done something to be healthier.

If someone is used to eating only fattening foods, of course they will think they only enjoy these foods. But there's so many healthy foods they probably haven't tried. I eat salad all year, too, but in the winter I grill a bit of beef, slice it up and put that on a salad with warm orange juice-Dijon mustard dressing. Or I eat a regular salad with the furnace turned up for a few hours

It's all about breaking bad habits and replacing them with good ones. It takes at least 20 days to make a new habit. Don't give up. It's not a diet, that implies a temporary situation. It's a new way of living. You have to live like you want to live for the rest of your life, and that ain't salad every night, at least it isn't for me. Moderation and determination. That is the only thing that works.


Best to luck to all!

Julie

I have a relatively slow metabolism, but have been thin all my life.
since turning 40 last year, I noticed a few "bulges" where I never had them before, so I asked my doc what to do.
He told me to eat several small meals throughout the day, whether I was hungry or not (ya hearing me Catarina?) and that would help speed up my metabolism, which would help burn fat and calories.
He was right, I didnt really change WHAT I ate, just how much and how often.
I'm by no means saying eat cheesecake 5 times a day :LOL: just eat less food more often...it worked for me, and may work for you too?

Weight loss is a very tricky subject for most Americans. Many famous people with lots of disposable income have tried and failed. Oprah, Ricky Lake etc. There is no magic pill. It takes hard work and determination. Most people say there is no time. You HAVE to make time. Starving yourself is not the answer. Fad diets do not work either. It takes a lifestyle change. I'm no expert but the few things I know are:

1. Always eat a balanced breakfast. This stokes the metabolic fire.
2. Excercise before your first meal. This forces the body to use fat reserves for fuel.
3. Eat smaller meals but eat more often. 4-6 times a day isn't too much.


Good luck!

I just bought me some of the Slim Fast shakes & bars. I intend to do this diet just to get a few unwanted pounds off of me, then excersise, too.