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I Dumped My Boyfriend!!!!!

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
After half a year of seeing one another, I have decided that my boyfriend is not the man for me. He is not supportive of me going to school. And he's been pressuring me to marry him and have children with him right away. I just barely got divorced and I don't have a desire to settle down again for a long time. My goals right now is to finish school and find a stable job were I can last for years and support the children I already have. My boyfriend also lied to me. When we first met, I told him that I have a desire to live my life with dogs, cats, and horses. He said he was fine with my desires. But the other day, he told me we were not having any animals. He only told me he was fine with it to please me. He also lied about his legalization. He is an ilegal immigrant from Mexico. He kept telling me that he wants to marry me because he really cared about me and the kids. But after so much pressure for marriage, I saw through him that his intention for marrying me was to get legalized. He denies it. I told him if he really wants to marry me, than go to Mexico and get a legal visa.
Actually, breaking up was easy. I loved him and everything, but he lives in northen California and I live in Utah. We hardly ever see each other. He wanted me to move over there to live with him. I told him that I can't because the kids are here. He told me I can see them every weekend. He would pay for the plane ticket and hotel room. There is no way he can afford that! And also I really don't feel good about keeping my children in a hotel room rather then in their own home. I really don't want to marry again. I like living alone were I can make my own decisions without anyone interfering. I have a great desire to prove to myself that I can achive my goals and dreams. Boyfriends I will have, but no husbands. At least for a long time. Hey, I am 28 years old. I am still young! It is like the song, I will Survive!
post #2 of 17
I am very proud of you!!!! I think your decision was wise and sound. You should be very proud of your aelf and your children (human and otherwise) are very luck to have such a strong mother. :girly1: :daisy: :angel2:
post #3 of 17
Sounds to me like you made the right choice Nena. I have two children, and I think when you have your own kids they are number one , no matter what. It doesn't sound like he was being very honest with you and it appears you are probably better off without him. Don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea. When I met my husband seven years ago, I KNEW that he was the right one. If you have any doubts, trust your instincts. Chances are they are right. Happy Single life to you!!
post #4 of 17

I am sorry you are going through this, but I think you did the right thing. Sounds like this guy only thought of himself, and that is not a way for you to live

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #5 of 17
For what its worth, Nena, I think you should be proud of making a difficult but good decision. Best of luck to you!
post #6 of 17
Good for you! So many young women think with their hearts instead of their heads and have such bad things happen to them. You are to be commended for looking out for your children before your boyfriend. I went through a horrible abusive relationship before my current one. He lied, cheated, stole from me, physically and emotionally abused me. I thank God every day that I found the strenghth to get away from that psycho. I have been happily unmarried to a wonderful man for nearly 17 years now. We had been good friends for 7 years, and one day I saw him in a whole new light. I feel very lucky to have finally looked in the right place for someone to share my life with. He had been right there all along! We are still the best of friends in addition to being a happy couple. You sound like a strong, sensible, ambitious woman who is just going through a rough time. Keep your chin up, you'll be fine!!
post #7 of 17
Good for you, Nena! And I am glad you have such a good attitude and outlook aobut this.
post #8 of 17
Good for you Nena!
I am proud to see another woman standing up for herself and telling a guy to "hit the road!".
My situation was I got a divorce by running away(left him while he was in Chicago with his friends)and went to another part of the city thinking that he wouldn't find me. Well that worked until the cable company gave him my address and he showed up at my door one day. I was floored and scared since he was the kind of man who liked to hit women and I was alone at the time, luckly he brought a friend so he didn't do anything that would cause him to go to jail.
that was 6 years ago since then I have told one man or another to p**s off!(pardon the expression), but I found the one I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. he is really wonderful and seems to care alot for me and my cats. In fact, he gave me my first cat and since then we have adopted three more furballs....
I really hope you find the one that is right for you and you have a great loving long life together. Until then, give 'em heck girl! LOL!
post #9 of 17
Glad to hear you are so positive about your breakup, and that you are the one in control. You did the right thing, too. I never had to breakup with any guy..... My husband was techincally my first boyfriend, and after 8 months of dating he proposed. We have been married for 4 years now
post #10 of 17
Nena, sounds like you definately did the right thing....he sounds like he wasn't very supportive of your goals, your children, or your pets....and that is only after 6 months. Can you imagine what he would have been like after a few years? I am proud of you for making that decision!
post #11 of 17
Thread Starter 
One thing that bothered me really was that he tried to pick between him and my cat(when I had him.) When I lost Jake and was crying, he wasn't very comforting. He was like' you were crying for a cat. Then when I told him that I am going to get another, he was like no way. He had the nerve to ask me to choose between him and the animals, as if the animals were another lover. So I said, I rather live without men(no offense to the those who are good)than without furry creatures. He is like most people that think that we shouldn't even waste our time and money on animals.
post #12 of 17
Nena, you certainly made the right decision. If you had married this man, you would have been very unhappy.

He might have even been abusive towards your animals in the future.

It sounds like you certainly have your priorities in the right perspective, With your children, animals & education taking precidence.

I think you will do just fine in this world, since you are able to think things through & not jump into anything.

You need to have your freedom, & not be pressured into anything.

You will find someone who will love you, your children & animals & also not pressure you, as they will understand your needs & be supportive of them.

Things will work out, I do believe that you are exactly in the place that God desires you to be at the moment.
post #13 of 17
Nena, He obviously was a mistake if he said, "you were crying over a cat?" like it was nothing. I am glad you got rid of him, you deserve better!!!!!!!!!!
post #14 of 17
Just from reading your story Nena, I think that you did the right thing. I've had a couple bad relationships myself, and it's always better to be single, than unhappy.
post #15 of 17
Nena10; YOU GO GIRL!!!! Sounds like this thread should be in your "Diet Advice" thread! How do you get rid of 200lbs. of ugly fat ? (answer) CUT OFF YOUR BOYFRIEND! You deserve so much more, Nena and you are taking valuable steps toward a better lifestyle for you and your precious children by continuing your education! Never "settle" only "better"!!!! Love ya', and support ya', TLK
post #16 of 17
Nena10 - YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! Personally I would not want to have a relationship with a man who could not relate to animals. Someone who can not comprehend the unconditional love they give in return for kindness and caring is NOT my type of person and as it seems yours either. I could not ever again be without the pitter patter of furry feet around my house! (Well, it's more like a big thudd (spelling?), but who notices anyway HEHEHEHE).
post #17 of 17
Nena10 - YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! as they say NEXT!!! Don't worry there are kind and giving men out there - you'll find one when you least expect it!!

Personally I would not want to have a relationship with a man who could not relate to animals. Someone who can not comprehend the unconditional love they give in return for kindness and caring is NOT my type of person and as it seems yours either. I could not ever again be without the pitter patter of furry feet around my house! (Well, it's more like a big thudd (spelling?), but who notices anyway HEHEHEHE).

:kitty5: :daisy: :angel4: :daisy: :flower: :girly1: (NEVERMIND ME I AM JUST HAVING A GO AT THE SMILIES!
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