Older Cat/Much Younger Cat Sleeping Issue

Sasha is adjusting and welcoming little Saba (say-ba, female, 9 mos.) into our home and lives just as well as can be expected. He brings her toys and shares everything he has with her, and he's 12. He's an extremely gentle, introverted, 21 lb cuddly older brother (except when clubbing coyotes) and has been in a multi-cat household his entire life except during the past 14 months after the loss of his mama and the death of young brother Freddie (11/9/03 RIP).
I trust Sasha so much that I can leave him alone with Saba for 1/2 day and know that he will never be the aggressor nor try and scare her in any way. My question is one of adjustment....that is, Sasha has been a little verbal (that's a lot for him!) in the night and early morning hours. It seems that he is looking for sleeping spots in the house that she has not touched. He does have his favorite, but she is now sleeping by my pillow every night, which was his former place too, and it's obvious he is feeling pushed out. So when I gently remove her from "his place" by my side, he refuses to hop up and sleep with me because she was there and it has her scent, etc etc. So he howls a bit and walks through the house. As soon as he doesn't come up to bed, she just moves right back in.

Saba does have her own room, as well as Sasha has his own room, so she knows she has a place to go that's her own, and he does too. But after Freddie died, Sasha became The Only One and although he is accepting of Saba, I feel awful because his sleep status has been disturbed now. He includes her in everything else and likes to play with her and has no other issues. He rarely asks for anything, but he is asking me for this. What do I do???

Any suggestions?

Perhaps have Saba stay in her room overnight for the next few nights, so that Sasha can re-establish his sleeping place. If she still tries to take 'his' spot when she is allowed out during the night, you could try picking him up, putting him between your pillows and putting Saba by your feet, so she still gets to be with you but not in Sasha's spot.

Tania, thank you so much for responding~~ We did try this over the weekend, and Sasha just jumped down off the bed and howled downstairs. We want Saba to feel she now has a family and won't be abandoned again, but maybe we are focusing too much on her?? Should we just keep her in her room at nights again? I just have a feeling that no matter how many nights she is in her room, it will just happen again when she is out during the night. Sasha is very submissive to other kitties but yet he wants this one thing. Saba and I are now bonding well because she does sleep with me (this morning there was a toy by my face she had fetched during the night). In recalling how kitten Freddie was handled, he just slept underneath the bed entirely, so it was never an issue and they had a different type of relationship that was glue from almost the first hour. I just don't have much to go on.

Eddie (can I call you that now?),

I don't know what to think other than to tell you about my own recent experience. George thinks that our bedroom and the adjoining bathroom is his apartment. He is very much a big chicken. Although he would never show aggression with the other cats (Lizbeth and McKenzie) throughout the house, he would in his room. It was (and is) a game to him. He lets them come in and get on the bed, but then just waits until they jump off and then he chases them out of the room. It's almost like he said "Yeah and STAY OUT!" when they were leaving anyway It successfully intimidates them, though.

Then came the ferals. Oh he was a bit freaked out , but at the same time , he was the one cat that didn't hiss or pick a fight. Then after a few weeks the ferals came into his room. It was so funny - he looked back at me like, "HEY - DID YOU SEE THIS?! THEY ARE IN MY ROOM!!" He was too afraid to do anything. They were taking over - using his litter box (in my bathroom) and drinking his water - the whole neighborhood just went to hell in a handbasket. I think he was a little distressed. To make a LONG story short. Mama started to sleep with us (and Meg goes with Mama). Poor George, for weeks I'd try to get him to sleep at the end of the bed in his spot. He would jump down because just being in the same bed with Mama made him very nervous. I felt like you do. Sad that my buddy was out in the middle of the hall sleeping. Finally, one day, I guess he just got tired of being so scared. Now he sleeps on one side of my feet and Mama the other. As far as I know he still doesn't chase Mama. but he has started to chase Meg as she leaves the room The funny thing is .... she thinks its a game and then they start chasing each other. I just wish they wouldn't do it in the middle of the night! Continue to tell Sasha how much his mommy loves him - Give him extra extra lovin' and I bet he comes around after he's figured out Saba is totally O.K. I think it's nice he's sharing his toys.

E-

Spray your pillow with feliway spray, then put a clean pillowcase on it. The smell won't even bother you, but it will soothe Sasha. Give Saba her own room with a heated cat bed CatTails so she will stay there. She is young enough in the house that if you give her a routine and stick with it, she will accept it. After about a week, let her out and put her heated cat bed in your bedroom, put a sweaty teeshirt of yours in the bottom of the bed, she should crawl right in-


Good luck

Goodness!, MA you make it sound so human like you, yourself, have crawled into a bed with a sweaty shirt beneath it. I think you have a feline psyche, I really do!

Chris - YA! Eddie works fine. I just rarely use it on the site because of the gender confusion when nobody can see me, but heck. Thank you for that story....and George eventually came around, huh. So here's what I'm gonna do, I will start with the bed system Hissy proposes above, throw in Tania's timeline and then see where we are in relation to your household. I think it's a plausible route!

~~~~ thanks~~~~

Hi Elizabeth--she does like sleeping on heating pad....good luck.

Originally Posted by glowbugm

Hi Elizabeth--she does like sleeping on heating pad....good luck.

Click to expand...

Thanks, Mayree!!

Elizabeth i don't know if you ever read a post i put on when i got Sophie?!.

Rosie would always come and curl up on my lap, but then Sophie took it over.

Rosie walked in the living room one night looked at Sophie on my lap and walked back out It broke my heart to see that!.

I paid Rosie extra special attention during the first few months of getting Sophie so she knew i still loved her and i'll be honest i missed my big girls weight on my lap

But it was about 4 months ago when Rosie came wandering in, saw Sophie was on my lap and jumped up herself to settle down, id got my girl back!

Even now she still comes on to my lap for a nap

Oh Susan, that just about brought tears to my eyes. I had Eric bring Sasha upstairs when he got off shift last night, about 3 am, and Sasha settled down in the corner by his favorite heating vent, but not the bed. That makes me feel so much better.