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Had to put boyfriend's cat to sleep

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
This past saturday we had to put my boyfriend's cat to sleep. He was almost 17 years old. Michael grew up with this cat. It was awful. Sabastian had kidney failure and we had to let him go. I had only known this kitty for 2 and a half years...but I loved him. He was the sweetest thing. He welcomed every one who entered his house. He loved to sit on top of the couch and groom your hair. He also loved rubbing against new shoes. I can't say my grief is any where close to Michael's, but I had never experienced having an animal put to sleep, or die for that matter. We were with him until the end. It was really hard for me to leave him after he was gone. I was so upset I started to hyperventilate. Even though I knew he was gone, for some reason I just wanted to hold his sweet little body. I love all animals very much and it was just terrible. I couldn't help but wonder if he was scared thinking we were killing him. I know he was suffering, but injecting him with something that killed him.... Before it was time to take him to the vet, Michael walked around holding Sabastian. Everytime he put him down, he made this terrible meow that sounded like he was scared and wanted him to hold him. He hadn't eaten or drank anything for a day...and he was really weak. I just can't stop thinking about it and I am bawling even as I type this. I know animals have to leave at some point, but I guess knowing how much Michael loved Sabastian just tears me up inside. I love Michael more than anything, and I guess I feel pain knowing he is in pain and not being able to do anything about it.
post #2 of 17
Rest in Peace Sebastian. Say Hi to my "Jet" for me and tell him I love and miss him.

I am so sorry for what you are feeling, truly. I cried when I read this post. My tears, sorrow, and sadness are with you. I'm sorry I can't think of words to console you, I feel soooo sad.
post #3 of 17
My Heart goes out to you and Michael, it's never an easy choice. And we can second guess the choice we made, but thinking that he will be well again at Rainbow Bridge and he will be looking for you and Michael, Bless you both you are in my thoughts.
post #4 of 17
Your post shows what a wonderful sensitive person you are - I am sure that Sebastian took comfort knowing that his boy Michael was in your caring hands. And reading how Michael took such good care of Sebastian in those last difficult hours, you can be assured that Michael would have the ability to take care of you, should the need arise. Often euthanasia is the kindest act you can do for a friend and Sebastian knew it. Cats and dogs are extremely stoic about suffering, and as the release flowed through Sebastian's little body, he knew that you both loved him enough to let go. Just think, all those little kitty angels that are arriving tonight who didn't live long enough with us humans back here will have an experienced cat to show them the ropes about us people. And imagine, Sebastian up there alongside some man or woman, exchanging thoughts, maybe, "See those cats on that porch there? That was my porch, and they're wondering why I haven't come out to feed them. Oh, look, the mommy on the way to meet her kids at the bus stop is noticing the cats. She looks like such a kind person!" and Sebastian says, "See, there's my people. And that's Michael. I wonder who they will adopt to take my place? They are such good people, I can hardly wait to see what they do next? Did I tell you about how happy I felt when Michael"............................You are in our thoughts tonight, Sincerely, Susan (& Icy, JC, Joey & Cinders)
post #5 of 17
You are both in my thoughts at this sad, heartbreaking time. <hugs>. Susan (catsknowme) is right. Sebastian is happy and free of pain. He knew he was loved - this is the final act of kindness you can offer a much loved kitty. He is watching over you.
post #6 of 17
I feel for you and we also went through a similar experience in the last few days. It is extreamly hard to have to be there but when it comes to this there is no question about it and really no other choice. It sounds obvious that he was loved and knew it and loved you both in return. They go to sleep and feel no pain as they pass but it is extreamly sad to witness, it sounds like you had a very normal reaction to loosing a loved one. Although it will hurt for awhile and perhaps always, eventually you will be able to remember the wonderful times that were part of your life because of them and smile. Elmer and BooBoo Kitty will be waiting for him at the rainbow bridge and be happy to show him around and introduce him to their new friends as well. Elmer is still new up there so maybe they will explore together. I wish you both all the best and I hope your able to feel a little better every day as you reflect back on the good times with your friend.
post #7 of 17
Rachel....I'm so sorry for yours and Michael's pain over Sebastian. But you can't let these thoughts consume you. What you guys did for Sebastian was the ultimate act of ended his pain and suffering in a peaceful and humane way. It would have been so much worse for Sebastian to keep him with you until he got worse or in even more pain.

I feel sure that Sebastian knew how much you both loved him and he wasn't thinking that you were killing him. He was probably just a little nervous over being at the vet's office and wanted his favorite people close by.

I know what you're going through because I had to put my dog to sleep a little over a year ago who had been with me for almost 15 years and it tore my heart out. But I knew I was doing what was best for HIM.....not me. Yes I felt the guilt over taking him to his death.......which is how I was thinking about it. I kept thinking.....he trusted me to keep him safe.....and I betrayed him. But when the grief got a little better and I was able to look at things rationally....I DO believe that I did the right thing. My dog was in heart failure and would have suffered a terrible death if I had chosen to keep him with me for any longer. I take comfort in knowing that he was able to go to the Rainbow Bridge peacefully and without pain.

Be there for Michael and understand that he's in pain over losing Sebastian.....but reassure him that he did the right thing.....he needs to hear that right now.

Rest assured that Sebastian is young and healthy again and playing with all the others who have crossed before him. And when you guys are all reunited again......Sebastian will be so happy to see you both....and I promise that he will not be upset with you and will thank you for giving him this wonderful gift.

Take care of each other
post #8 of 17
Grieve as long as you both need to. In time, it will get easier to bear.
Don't second guess your decision. Michael knew Sebastian better than anyone else, knew him well enough to know when it was "time".
Love each other and treasure Sebastian's memory.
Eventually, it will get easier.
post #9 of 17
You did do the right thing, hard as it is. If Sebastian was crying when moved he was in pain, and you ended that pain. It's the last gift we can give to our animals as loving carers. The fact that you are both so upset is proof that you cared; anyone who didn't feel this way doesn't deserve to be keeping pets as far as I'm concerned.
I have loved and lost many pets over the years (listen to the 'old woman' talking!) and have found that taking on new pets is a great help to fill the time you have on your hands. I remember when Winnie (a cat) died, I was reluctant to get another cat at first, but was glad when we did have some more. I soon loved them, it wasn't the same, not worse, not better, just different, but I had live kitties to occupy my time. It's not disloyal, or being forgetful of your lost loved pet, more a compliment to the one that's gone: that you enjoyed his company so much you cannot bear to be without.
You carry on grieving, it's important that you do. You would grieve for a family member, so you do for a pet, who are family too, right? But please don't worry that Sebastian knew you were 'killing him'. It's the same drug that anaesthetises during operations, so to him it would have been just like going to sleep. Now he is in cat heaven (where there's ALWAYS chicken on the menu!), and you are left with wonderful memories of him.
Best of luck,

post #10 of 17
What a beautiful and comforting thought, Sebastian and Elmer, exploring the other side together!
post #11 of 17
Oh what sad, poor Sebastian, R.I.P. sweet angel....
post #12 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts. Michael seems to be okay, but men seem to treat pain so much differently than women. We just cry and let it out, but men think they have to be strong and hold it in. He never cries, but he cried when we had to put Sabastian to sleep. I told him that it was okay to cry and he should because he was his little buddy for the past 17 years. Pets are family, and we get used to their presence and joyfulness they bring to our lives. I have a cat that I found that was a stray in November of '03. His name is Tiger and he loves Michael more than anyone. He is always doing something that makes us laugh and smile. I am very glad that Michael has him right now to help ease the pain. When Michael and I move to our own place, Tiger is going to be our first kitty. I catch Michael looking at Tiger when he is petting him with so much love in his eyes. When Michael comes home for the weekends (he is in college) they are inseperable. No matter where in the house, when you find one, you always find the other. They are quite a pair.

Rest in peace Sabastian, we love you.
post #13 of 17
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boyfriend.
Rest in peace Sabastian.
post #14 of 17
I am so sorry for your loss. I was in tears when I was reading your post. It made me think of the relationship I have with Pickles, and how I cherish each day he has left and fear when the day comes that I have to let him go. I believe Sabastian is in a better place, where everything is beautiful, and there is no pain. And he is looking out for all our other furry friends.
post #15 of 17
I am sorry for your loss and am thinking of y'all.
post #16 of 17
Oh, honey. I know it's so hard. You will always miss Sebastian, but it will get easier to deal with as time goes on. I'm glad you have Tiger in your life. No cat can ever replace Sebastian , but Tiger will have his own place in your hearts . I'm glad you and Michael have each other. Comforting each other in a time of grief can help a lot. Sebastian was so loved and lived a wonderful life . Don't regret a thing. He didn't know what was happening. You let him go peacefully. He will never be in pain again.
post #17 of 17
Rachel -- I'm so sorry for your loss. Your love for Sebastian brought him happiness in his life; I hope your memories of him will bring some happiness to you and Michael. Jenn
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