I would like your thoughts on something?

For those of you who read my post "How I Became A Cat Person Or...", you read of how my first baby Tiffany was taken to the pound after the break up of my relationship with my girlfriend and, subsequently, how furious I was about it.

Well, Kathy called me last night and it's the first time in a long while that weve talked. She's married w/ a kid now and still in SC, but I think she misses me (She realizes too late how well I treated her). Well, she wants to be friends and if she wants to call and talk occasionally, thats fine. But, here's my delimma...

It's driving me nuts if Tiffany was adopted, and I'm contemplating asking her to go to the pound and check the records, but I'm afraid of the probability that she was Euthanized and I'm thinking that perhaps it's better not to know. If she wasn't adopted, then I will get emotional and angry all over again after all these years. So, what should I do? Should I leave it alone? I'm torn, but I miss my first little girl.

Wow, you really do have a dilema. I would, if I were you, ask her to check the records for me. Then, if the news were bad, I would hope that she'd lie to me. OK, OK, I know that isn't "kosher", but how many people are really going to go to the shelter, ask for the records from way back, and actually dig thru them. Even if she did do this for you, and the cat really was adopted, what's to say that all is well with it now? A million things could have happened! And the dear thing might be sitting on its owner's lap happy as a bug in a rug. I guess what I'm really saying is, it's better to make up a plausable story in your head and live with that. Good luck in whatever you do. A big decision.

I really would just let it rest. I personaly couldn't even talk to someone who broke my heart. So you are much braver than I in that respect. Tiffany no matter where she is, I am sure knows you think about her. Weather she is in a house somewhere or has crossed the rainbow bridge she is always in your thoughts and this is what keeps them alive in your heart any way you look at it. I wish you luck in your final decision.

Meowman-leave it lie,bud. Both things. We can't go back and change the past,no matter how we want to. Go foreward and find new things.

I think everyone is right, about just letting it be, but I can really understand your wanting to know what happened to Tiffany....I think it would be really hard not to check and see, but then again, maybe it is best not to know. Wow...hard decision. Let us know how it goes.

I would let it rest. I once read somewhere about our humane society in Arizona that they don't give out info once you bring an animal in. We once got a cat of 1 years old from the AZ Humane Society. I ended up having to take her back a week later (dog didn't get along w/ her). I remember calling back a few days later & they wouldn't tell me if she had been adopted. I, too, still wonder what happened to "Pickles". All I can hope is that she is in a good home. My husband says she probably got adopted. She was a purring type of cat.

That certainly is a hard decision but, I'm with the others. Let it be. You may not like the outcome. I know that if it were me in your position, I wouldn't want to know. Just in case it was what I didn't want to hear.

I've got to go along with the group - leave it go.

I think you would be performing an exercise of futility and self-punishment. Unless you have a friendly contact there, most shelters or rescue orgs won't give you any information anyway.

It has been my experience that the kinds of people who volunteer for rescue orgs or as shelter staff are humans who care very deeply about animal welfare. They believe that like children, pets are a responsibility for the length of the animal's lifetime (as it should be in my opinion, but again, like with children, human circumstances sometimes prevent an appropriate environment for pets). There is usually never a "good" reason that people turn in animals in their minds. Unfortunately, not everyone has learned successfully how to mask their true feelings. I've been on the receiving end of just such a person when I thought I was trying to be helpful once or twice ... and it only served to make me never want to be "helpful" to that particular organization again.

With some things, I agree that it is better to know the truth. I just don't think this is one of those things.

My best to you,

Gaye

I don't think that your decision will matter one way or another becase once an animal is surrendered to an organization or humane society or pound, the owner gives up the right to know what happened to it. While I understand you need closure (and I would really feel the same way because I can't stand not knowing things), in this case I would tell myself that she was adopted and let it go. I work with so many pounds that go out of their way not to euthanize that chances are she really did find a home. The pounds I work with will keep nice cats for months and use organizations like mine to help place them. Meowman, you need to forgive yourself already, let it go and go on to loving the cats that are presently in your care. I have volunteers who remember their own first cats and not knowing what they know now,gave them up to shelters, declawed them, etc. My first litter of rescues - half of them died because I did not know about Coxidea (spelled wrong) and they were not treated in time. I wanted to quit - if I had there would be about 1200 kittens and cats that would not have gotten homes in the last four years.

Thank you all for your input and advice. After reading your thoughts and speaking with cat-friendly friends who were there when I had to pick up the pieces after Kathy left I have decided that it is better to let sleeping cats purr!

If she has been euthanized it will serve no purpose except to upset me. Tiffany would be about 8 years olod now and I think that it's better if I just think of her as adopted and curled up in someones lap at the moment, purring happily away.

I think that this is the best way to remember her. But, I will always miss my first daughter and remember her as she slept on my chest, purring in my face to let me know that she was happy.

I am glad you have made that decision....even though it was hard. Just keep her always with you in your thoughts and memories....and know that she will again be with you someday, in heaven.