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Very funnny (and long but worth it!)

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Sorry this is so long but I just had to share!!

You see, my FUR keeps me warm. Your sweaters only serve to insult me.

When I say "woof," I mean "I hate you."

If the choice is between prison and playing dress up with you, I choose prison.

As if it wasn't hard enough being called a anorexic all the time; now you dress me up as an old drunken hooker.

If you think I won't eat you when you die, you're dead wrong.

Though I have provided all the evidence in the world, perhaps I should take this time to state a certain fact explicitly: I am a dog. I am NOT a CHILD.

As you must be mentally off, I'll cut you some slack.

If you wanted a bunny, why didn't you just buy one?

Please remind me why I'm supposed to love you.

I give you everything I have to give and you still wish I was a Dalmatian...

I wish your husband took me with him when he left.

If I had hands I'd strangle you.

What is wrong with you. Seriously. Did you not get enough love as a child? Is your world so completely devoid of meaning that you think dressing me as a flower is a form of care taking? I hope the house gets burgled tonight.

Remember this moment when I pee on your Persian rug tonight.

What am I wearing? Am I a picnic table? A waitress?

I wonder how many of these I have to slip into her water to end the torment.

Could someone out there please have my owner put to sleep?

Very funny. You come up with that yourself?

Look, I'm barely a dog. I have enough identity issues without you dressing me up as a cheetah.

Dang it. How am I going to get a girl when I look like I'm being strangled by a cartoon cat?

You are ruining what self-esteem I have left.

And I thought the bunny suit was bad... What am I now? A Dogglebee? Please stop. Please.

You're going to embalm me when I'm dead, aren't you?
post #2 of 6
post #3 of 6
post #4 of 6
post #5 of 6
LOL! look at all those cute bupbups!
post #6 of 6
Those are great!
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