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I hope no one is offended

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
This just came in my email. After fighting the hospital about Mike's illness, I have to say, I agree with the final sentence of this piece:

From a Modern American Translation

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth, and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food." God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.
post #2 of 26

post #3 of 26
Originally Posted by catherine

post #4 of 26
Oh how guilt inducing is that!!!!
post #5 of 26
Not offending to me in the least. Enjoyed it!
post #6 of 26
post #7 of 26
post #8 of 26
Amen to that! (ESPECIALLY the last sentence.)
post #9 of 26
post #10 of 26
post #11 of 26
Not offended at all - but what is an HMO?

post #12 of 26
Ain't it about the truth though!
post #13 of 26
muahahaha I do like that one
post #14 of 26
Originally Posted by millyanddaisy
Not offended at all - but what is an HMO?

Its something somewhat unique of the USA, and countries where medicine is privatized. The acronym is for Health Maintainance Organization.


But don't worry, if you ever got to think NHS is bad, its because you haven't seen these guys.
post #15 of 26
All very true MA......very thought provoking too! Thanks!
post #16 of 26
I love it Mary Anne! I'm going to have to send that one to a girlfriend of mine.
post #17 of 26
LOL! Not offending in the least!
post #18 of 26
Originally Posted by mamacat
Amen to that! (ESPECIALLY the last sentence.)
Love your expresion stefanie!!!!
post #19 of 26
I've been a little devil.
post #20 of 26
man this sucks. after reading this i was like 'wow the double cheeseburgers are 99 cents??" and then i bought one. and it was good
post #21 of 26
I'll have to share that with a few people I know!!
post #22 of 26
OMG!!! That hit it RIGHT On the head!!!
post #23 of 26
I can relate to this! Thanks for posting, hissy. I don't know you well, but the Lord has laid you and your husband on my heart, and I pray for you every day, and for your kitties, too.
post #24 of 26
That's hilarious!
post #25 of 26
LOL!! That's great!!!
post #26 of 26
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