How long should we keep new cat separate?

Hello again!

We have kept our rescue cat Lucky (rescued from industrial site) separated behind a screen (they can see each other clearly) since it became clear that one of our 2 siamese had a hard time accepting him (its been about 4 months now). She has bitten him (or tried to) whenever she gets anywhere near him. He was friendly at first, but now he's just scared of her and shows defensive aggression. We let him play with our other siamese Lila, but he has become aggressive lately towards her and doesn't seem to know his own strength. It seems like he's playing but it is rougher than she is used to. Both girls are petite. She doesn't like to play with him anymore =( but she has been extremely patient and he does listen to her if she makes a fuss (growling and smacking him back when necessary). THen he will lay down as if to say I'm sorry...

He gets out twice a day for approx. 2 to 2 1/2 hours on his own, once in the morning and once at night.

Separating them doesn't seem to be working and we're wondering if we should let them get the dominance hierarchy thing over with, but we are afraid someone will get hurt. If supervised, do you think we should just do that? We've heard from others that it is the only way to get it sorted. Believe me when I say that we've tried everything under the sun to resolve this issue.

Any suggestions? We don't want to rehome him as we're totally in love with him and he is extremely affectionate to us.

Any advice on this topic would be very much appreciated.

Thank you in advance!!!

Lisa

Sometimes, it is our anxiety that interferes in the natural order of things. If these cats have been separated that long, it is high time for them to just interact. You want to make the interaction seem accidental. Don't make a big deal over it, leave the screen door cracked, and then just go about your day. Have a dark blanket on hand to toss over the cats if they start to tangle, but growling, swishing the tail and hissing are normal in cat language when they are meeting one on one. You can use vanilla extract under their noses and at the base of their tails to help neutralize the scent, or dust them all with brewers yeast and give them a good brushing.

Look into www.biovet.com and invest in a couple comfort zone room diffusers to help out as well. But keep your own stress level down, and if they do tangle, don't raise your voice. Just toss the blanket over them to break them up

Thanks very much for the advice. We'll put some vanilla on them and the screen door open a crack when she is in another part of the house... Wish us luck!!!

Originally Posted by hissy

Sometimes, it is our anxiety that interferes in the natural order of things. If these cats have been separated that long, it is high time for them to just interact. You want to make the interaction seem accidental. Don't make a big deal over it, leave the screen door cracked, and then just go about your day. Have a dark blanket on hand to toss over the cats if they start to tangle, but growling, swishing the tail and hissing are normal in cat language when they are meeting one on one. You can use vanilla extract under their noses and at the base of their tails to help neutralize the scent, or dust them all with brewers yeast and give them a good brushing.

Look into www.biovet.com and invest in a couple comfort zone room diffusers to help out as well. But keep your own stress level down, and if they do tangle, don't raise your voice. Just toss the blanket over them to break them up

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Hello Lisa...

I have three Cats, Merlin whom I've had for 12 years, Craven whom I have had for 1 year, and now Mia - I adopted her a few weeks ago. When I brought Craven home, I put him in a confined room at first with his litter box, a bed, some food and water, and slowly introduced him to Merlin. I allowed Craven out for a few hours with Merlin - supervised and then put him back in his room - they smelled each other through the door. This allowed them to get used to one another fairly. Suprisingly they got along quite well - Merlin seemed to become Craven's Dad. However, when I brought Mia home - oh my!!! Craven was not a happy camper - he was hissing, growling, etc. and Merlin was as sweet as could be, again acting like a Dad & mediator b/w Craven & Mia. This lasted for a week and now they are best friends.

From my experience, when bringing home a new kitten to an older cat is the best - for some reason - my cats never adjusted to bringing an older cat in the house. How old is Lucky? When Craven was growling at Mia, I would pcik up a toy and play with both of them or get some treats in order to get their attention and feed them both at the same time - both worked.

Also, each of my cats have their own beds, basket of toys, food & water bowls,as well as litter boxes. Maybe try this - so they don't feel one is taking over what they believe to be theirs. They are like little kids sometimes.

Anyway, enough rambling - just some food for thought, since I've had similiar experiences.

Good luck...