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- Jun 10, 2003
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Ccoccocat's Polish joke reminded me of my all time favorite Joke and I just can't sleep, so I may as well give it a shot. Here goes:
Some guy walks into a grocery store looking for Onions. First, he goes to the produce section, looks around and can't find any, so he wanders around until he finds a stockboy in the dairy section.
Guy: Excuse me. I was looking for onions and I can't seem to find any. Can you help?
Stockboy: I'll double check the produce section for you. Come with me.
(The stockboy leads the guy back through the produce until he's satisfied that there aren't any.)
Stockboy: Sorry. We must be out. Come again some other time.
Guy: Okay. (and he leaves)
(About 10 minutes later the guy comes back into the store, looking around for onions again. He still can't find any, but he sees the stockboy still putting milk out in the dairy section.)
Guy: Hi. I was looking for onions again, but I can't find any. Can you help me?
Stockboy: Well I'm pretty sure we're out.
Guy: -Pretty sure? Can you check in the back and see if there's any?
Stockboy: (trying to be polite) Fair enough. I'll be right back.
(The stockboy disappears into the back of the store and emerges once again a few minutes later.)
Stockboy: Sorry. We don't have any onions in the back either.
Guy: Alright. I'll come back another time. (and he leaves the store)
(About 10 minutes later the guy comes back in the store. He goes to the produce section again and then ends up finding the same stockboy.)
Guy: Hey, I still can't find any onions. Can you help?
Stockboy: (slightly annoyed) Well we don't have any here.
Guy: Here? Well what about the back? Can you check to see if the onion truck came or something?
Stockboy: (surprised and still annoyed) Onion truck? Fine. I'll be right back.
(The stockboy disappears into the back of the store again just to humor the customer. It's not very long before he comes back out.)
Guy: So did you find any?
Stockboy: Nope. Sorry. We just don't have any onions.
Guy: (getting impatient) I don't even think you checked. You were in and out of there very quick.
Stockboy: (getting more annoyed) Well I did and we just don't have any.
Guy: (getting rude) I don't believe you tried. Look again.
Stockboy: (trying to keep his cool) I'm sorry sir. We don't have any onions and I can't pinpoint exactly when we're getting more. You'll have to come back another time.
Guy: (getting belligerent) Well you keep saying that, and every time I come back in the store you say you don't have any, but I'm not leaving until I get my onions! I know you keep extra stuff in the back for VIP's an celebrities. I want onions now!!!
Stockboy: (losing it) Okay look buddy... who put the "pot" in potato?
Guy: (still belligerent) I don't know!
Stockboy: (sharply) Okay... Who put the "tom" in tomato?
Guy: (still belligerent) I don't know!
Stockboy: (sharply) Okay. Who put the "frick" in onions?!
Guy: (belligerent as ever) There's no frick in onions!!!
Stockboy: THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU... THERE'S NO FRICKIN' ONIONS!!!!!!
Some guy walks into a grocery store looking for Onions. First, he goes to the produce section, looks around and can't find any, so he wanders around until he finds a stockboy in the dairy section.
Guy: Excuse me. I was looking for onions and I can't seem to find any. Can you help?
Stockboy: I'll double check the produce section for you. Come with me.
(The stockboy leads the guy back through the produce until he's satisfied that there aren't any.)
Stockboy: Sorry. We must be out. Come again some other time.
Guy: Okay. (and he leaves)
(About 10 minutes later the guy comes back into the store, looking around for onions again. He still can't find any, but he sees the stockboy still putting milk out in the dairy section.)
Guy: Hi. I was looking for onions again, but I can't find any. Can you help me?
Stockboy: Well I'm pretty sure we're out.
Guy: -Pretty sure? Can you check in the back and see if there's any?
Stockboy: (trying to be polite) Fair enough. I'll be right back.
(The stockboy disappears into the back of the store and emerges once again a few minutes later.)
Stockboy: Sorry. We don't have any onions in the back either.
Guy: Alright. I'll come back another time. (and he leaves the store)
(About 10 minutes later the guy comes back in the store. He goes to the produce section again and then ends up finding the same stockboy.)
Guy: Hey, I still can't find any onions. Can you help?
Stockboy: (slightly annoyed) Well we don't have any here.
Guy: Here? Well what about the back? Can you check to see if the onion truck came or something?
Stockboy: (surprised and still annoyed) Onion truck? Fine. I'll be right back.
(The stockboy disappears into the back of the store again just to humor the customer. It's not very long before he comes back out.)
Guy: So did you find any?
Stockboy: Nope. Sorry. We just don't have any onions.
Guy: (getting impatient) I don't even think you checked. You were in and out of there very quick.
Stockboy: (getting more annoyed) Well I did and we just don't have any.
Guy: (getting rude) I don't believe you tried. Look again.
Stockboy: (trying to keep his cool) I'm sorry sir. We don't have any onions and I can't pinpoint exactly when we're getting more. You'll have to come back another time.
Guy: (getting belligerent) Well you keep saying that, and every time I come back in the store you say you don't have any, but I'm not leaving until I get my onions! I know you keep extra stuff in the back for VIP's an celebrities. I want onions now!!!
Stockboy: (losing it) Okay look buddy... who put the "pot" in potato?
Guy: (still belligerent) I don't know!
Stockboy: (sharply) Okay... Who put the "tom" in tomato?
Guy: (still belligerent) I don't know!
Stockboy: (sharply) Okay. Who put the "frick" in onions?!
Guy: (belligerent as ever) There's no frick in onions!!!
Stockboy: THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU... THERE'S NO FRICKIN' ONIONS!!!!!!
