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How Would You Rate Your Self-Esteem?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I often find it surprising that people I really like don't really like themselves underneath. It's sad. Some people just don't give themselves enough credit no matter what you say. Then there's people who are on the opposite end of the scale. It's hard to think of anyone who has a good balance between the two. How does your self-esteem rate?
post #2 of 29
I'd say about 7/10 for me ^.~
post #3 of 29
It's funny that this thread has been posted. Just the other day, I had a pretty in-depth conversation with my best friend. She had been having a hard day, and was basically telling me that she feels like a failure as a single parent, how she is stupid, and thinks she is horrible in general. The irony here is.. I look at her and am in AWE of her. As far as parenting goes, I look up to her. I frequently go to her for advice with my own boys. I think she, in general is an amazing individual, and doesnt give herself enough credit.. and I told her so.

I really think it's all in the eye of the beholder. I also think that people in general, are way to hard on themselves.
post #4 of 29
I'm a pretty confident person.

I know a couple of friends who used to have bubbly personalities and their partners used to put them down eventually giving them a low self esteem.

No one would ever take hold of me in that way!.
post #5 of 29
I admit that at times I can be very shy, quiet and doubtful of myself or what I've done. I put my vote in "I need some improvement...". I know there's a more confident, outgoing person inside me just waiting to get out, he's made brief appearences before. I know what I have to do let that person trapped inside get out permantently. The hardest part, is just getting it done and to stop making excuses for myself.
post #6 of 29
You know this is quite an interesting thread... DC I know how your friend feels. I'm right there at that point just now too. I know I'm not quite rock bottom... I'm on the road to improvement even though it is a long long way off just now. I've made the first step to getting better, and that was the hardest bit. Hopefully though, this is the year that everything starts to get better
post #7 of 29
I've always had really terrible self-esteem. It's not a fun way to live. It makes me doubt all of my decisions and in the past has made me an easy target for controlling people in personal relationships. I think I might be getting a little better, but it takes a conscious effort on my part. My fiance said a really smart thing to me once, though, and it kind of stuck with me. He said, "Do you think I'm stupid?" and of course I said no, and he said, "Do you think I have bad judgment?", and again I said no, and he said, "So if you're really as terrible a person as you think you are, and I'm not stupid, and I don't have bad judgment, how could I love you so much?"

Made me think...
post #8 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacat
I've always had really terrible self-esteem. It's not a fun way to live. It makes me doubt all of my decisions and in the past has made me an easy target for controlling people in personal relationships. I think I might be getting a little better, but it takes a conscious effort on my part. My fiance said a really smart thing to me once, though, and it kind of stuck with me. He said, "Do you think I'm stupid?" and of course I said no, and he said, "Do you think I have bad judgment?", and again I said no, and he said, "So if you're really as terrible a person as you think you are, and I'm not stupid, and I don't have bad judgment, how could I love you so much?"

Made me think...
What a smart man:-). He sounds like a good partner with whom to spend a life.

I used to feel a great need for validation from other people. As I have got older, I have gained more experience in life and have come to realize that the most important person to validate me, is me. If I try to satisfy everyone else's expectations of me, then I will fail. It is more important to be the person I want and need to be:-). So, I have given myself permission to make mistakes and not beat myself over the head about them; I have given myself permission to be imperfect and human; I have given myself permission to indulge, occasionally, in bouts of self-pity and drama without feeling guilty or undeserving and then let it go; and I have promised myself that I will be true to who I am, not to who anyone else expects me to be or wants me to be. I have made myself a promise to do 3 things every day: to take time in my day, no matter how busy I am, to just stop and admire something beautiful in my world whether it is the colour of the sky, a child playing, or the feel of a gentle breeze; to try and do something postive for someone else every day whether by giving them a compliment, helping someone with a task, or listening to what they have to say with empathy without any expectation of return; and to be 'true' to myself even if it means I have to walk alone. At least I know I will like the company:-).

One 'mantra' I have found very useful and I will happily share is this: I am the best 'me' there is in this whole world -there is no one else who can be 'me' as well as I can, and there is just no way I can get that wrong". :-) Hope that helps.

love
Kathryn
post #9 of 29
i have self esteem in my own head, but when it comes to how i think others perceive me my view sucks. and in my head i know that it's stupid but when i go into things i automatically think that people think i'm not worth it even though I feel that I am. I don't know how to explain it. In my head I'm the most awesome person, but I don't have confidence in the way others see me..
post #10 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathryn41
...One 'mantra' I have found very useful and I will happily share is this: I am the best 'me' there is in this whole world -there is no one else who can be 'me' as well as I can, and there is just no way I can get that wrong". :-) ...
Great advice! I'll file that one away. Thank you.
post #11 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathryn41
What a smart man:-). He sounds like a good partner with whom to spend a life.

I used to feel a great need for validation from other people. As I have got older, I have gained more experience in life and have come to realize that the most important person to validate me, is me. If I try to satisfy everyone else's expectations of me, then I will fail. It is more important to be the person I want and need to be:-). So, I have given myself permission to make mistakes and not beat myself over the head about them; I have given myself permission to be imperfect and human; I have given myself permission to indulge, occasionally, in bouts of self-pity and drama without feeling guilty or undeserving and then let it go; and I have promised myself that I will be true to who I am, not to who anyone else expects me to be or wants me to be. I have made myself a promise to do 3 things every day: to take time in my day, no matter how busy I am, to just stop and admire something beautiful in my world whether it is the colour of the sky, a child playing, or the feel of a gentle breeze; to try and do something postive for someone else every day whether by giving them a compliment, helping someone with a task, or listening to what they have to say with empathy without any expectation of return; and to be 'true' to myself even if it means I have to walk alone. At least I know I will like the company:-).

One 'mantra' I have found very useful and I will happily share is this: I am the best 'me' there is in this whole world -there is no one else who can be 'me' as well as I can, and there is just no way I can get that wrong". :-) Hope that helps.

love
Kathryn

So well said Kathryn, thank you for sharing that.
post #12 of 29
Sometimes I like myself, anf other times I feel "not as good" as others. I know in my head that I am really smart, a great person, etc., but getting it to my heart is another thing entirely.
post #13 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathryn41
One 'mantra' I have found very useful and I will happily share is this: I am the best 'me' there is in this whole world -there is no one else who can be 'me' as well as I can, and there is just no way I can get that wrong". :-)
I really like that. Very nice.

Personally, I think I'm okay with myself. I wouldn't get plastic surgery, don't wear much makeup, okay with my height and size. I think I'm a good enough person, though my temper needs a bit of work... like so many people I could probably use a bit more self-esteem, and at times I manage to completely bum myself out... but most of the time, I'm okay.
post #14 of 29
Mine's not the best at the moment - I've never been terribly confident, but I used to have average-ish self-esteem - my (now ex) boyfriend left me for another girl in September, though, and that really did a number on my self-esteem - I'm slowly trying to regain it now.
post #15 of 29
humble, yet secure here
post #16 of 29
I used to horriblely insecure but then started hanging out with a younger cousin. She was what I wanted to be...sure of herself and comfortable in her body. I started immitating her and found as time went by I was no longer immitating. I think I'm a pretty neat person but still have my insecurities and definately need to work on my temper and my cursing. But I have a group of very close friends that make me feel special so I'd say I'm ok.
post #17 of 29
There's a poem I learned when I was a kid. I liked it so much I memorized it. I wonder if I can remember it still?


I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye.
I don't want to stand with the setting sun,
And hate myself for things I have done.


I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a woman I really am;
I don't want to dress up myself in shame.


I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and self
I want to be able to like myself
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I'm bluster and bluff, an empty show.


I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see.
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.
By: Edgar A. Guest

And I confess, I couldn't remember all of it, so thank God for GOOGLE!
post #18 of 29
MA, I like that!
post #19 of 29
I remember when I saw Johnny Carson saying how he was about 50/50 happy not happy. I suspect that is all of us.

My esteem is pretty good, I have moments of self put downs but I know to snap myself out of it, we program our minds with that stuff.
post #20 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyBabies
MY self esteem is not in the toilet it is far below that. The ONLY reason I am alive is for my cats! THEY are the one's who make me laugh and cry and enjoy life when I do! MY life is a soap ophera but allmost all bad
FORGIVE ME FOR THIS!!!!! I should never have posted it and would delete it but my computer is not working right and I cannot!

I may not like myself but I love this forum and am sorry to have subjected you all to my depression!
post #21 of 29
I need some improvement, but I'm not at the bottom.
post #22 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyBabies
FORGIVE ME FOR THIS!!!!! I should never have posted it and would delete it but my computer is not working right and I cannot!

I may not like myself but I love this forum and am sorry to have subjected you all to my depression!
post #23 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkdaisy226
I really like that. Very nice.

Personally, I think I'm okay with myself. I wouldn't get plastic surgery, don't wear much makeup, okay with my height and size. I think I'm a good enough person, though my temper needs a bit of work... like so many people I could probably use a bit more self-esteem, and at times I manage to completely bum myself out... but most of the time, I'm okay.


WTG Ariana!! Personally, I probably wear too much makeup, I could really go for some surgery here and there 'cuz I think I have a saggy bum, I wish I was taller and one size smaller, my temper probably needs too much work, I seem to have my hand in way too many projects, I have way too soft a heart for my own good, my face does not photograph well, and I am awkward and shy at times. But heck, other than that, I think I'm OK TOO!!
post #24 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyBabies
FORGIVE ME FOR THIS!!!!! I should never have posted it and would delete it but my computer is not working right and I cannot!

I may not like myself but I love this forum and am sorry to have subjected you all to my depression!

I know it might not help much at all, but I like you! Don't be sorry,
post #25 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by ash_bct

I know it might not help much at all, but I like you! Don't be sorry,
I second that, we all love you here, Heidi!
post #26 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by hissy
There's a poem I learned when I was a kid. I liked it so much I memorized it. I wonder if I can remember it still?
That was a great poem, MA!
post #27 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by dawnofsierra
I second that, we all love you here, Heidi!

I third that!!!!!!!
post #28 of 29
My self esteem sucks. Always have, but I comfort myself by thinking the majority of people are people I don't like, so not liking myself is fairly normal.
post #29 of 29
I voted I keep my head up high, I don't think it's in the clouds. I'm getting there, hopefully soon I'll love myself the way alot of people do!
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