I Just Told My Sister Off!!!!

I'll sum this up as best I can.

My younger sister's boyfriend, since finding out I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and Depression, stopped speaking to me completely the whole year. Christmas he gives me a Simon Gift Card. Supposedly you're able to use this wherever they accept VISA. I did not give him a gift, for many reasons.

I called my sister today to tell her that I used the card once for $4.00 and for some reason the card isn't being accepted any more wherever I've tried to use it, and that it's possible her boyfriend got ripped off when he paid the $20.00 for it. She tells me, "Why don't you just give him back the card, along with the amount of money you've used on it so far, and call it even, since you didn't give him ANYTHING for Christmas". (She has a habit of always telling me off and I never answer her back, EVER.)

I was so dumbfounded by her response, and thought to myself that my New Year's Resolution was to not let people tell me off without them getting a peice of my mind as well. So I said to her "I never gave him a gift since he completely ignored me the whole year. Furthermore, I'm sick of you always sticking up for this bum, so F_ _ _ you", and hung up.

Do any of you wish to share your opinion on this. Was I right or wrong? I'm trembling with anxiety even as I type this.

Whoa! You suffering from PTSD is not a reason for him to avoid you. If anything you needed your family around you (and he is family as long as he is dating your sister). I can't fault you for not giving him a gift, I don't give many members of my family whom I never see gifts. But your sister's suggestion was out of line. There's two ways to see this. Either he'll be insulted by you returning the gift or he's already insulted by no gift and has been talking about it to her. Either way you're basically screwed with the way your sister is acting so no, I don't think you were out of line. She was.

You werenicer than I would have been.. I would have told her about herself and Her boyfriend, and their dog, dude. That type of behavoir is innapropriate of her.

Originally Posted by turtlecat

You werenicer than I would have been.. I would have told her about herself and Her boyfriend, and their dog, dude. That type of behavoir is innapropriate of her.

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I shouldn't laugh, but I'm laughing at myself for asking you, how do you know they have a dog? Or is this a figure of speech, in which case, I now feel like Phoebe from Friends.

once again... you were a lot nicer than i would have been!!

i cant stand it when people act like that.. and i would have told her off completely!!

I think it depends on the sort of person you are Cheryl?!.

I know many people who say life is too short to argue etc...but if someones hurt you!. When i left my husband 6 years ago, my brother who was really close to me disowned me because of it, and many times people asked me to get in touch with him because it was silly losing touch like that, but to me it hurt me because i was always there when he needed me in yet when i needed him the most he did that to me, and call it the scorpion in me but i never ever forget when someones hurt me!.

What on earth did he think you were going to do for him not to speak to you for goodness sake?!.

OOHH I would have had a lot nastier things to say, so no I don't think you were wrong.

But, all in all I think later after you cool down, it might be a good idea to try to talk to her about this, maybe you already have and it didn't work, if thats the case then good for you!!!

It's a figure of speech. Like everybody and their dog or everybody and their uncle. I use everybody and their dog a lot.

Originally Posted by TTMom

It's a figure of speech. Like everybody and their dog or everybody and their uncle. I use everybody and their dog a lot.

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Thanks for clearing that up for me. If anything, I needed the laugh! Now I feel extremely silly for asking. Just call me Phoebe!

Don't feel silly. It's probably one of those sayings that's more popular in other areas than where you're from. There's things that people in NJ say that completely lose me.

Thats definetly the best way to end a phone conversation
But yeah her speaking to you like that is totally uncalled for, and I believe people need to get back what they give ^.~

Peace,
Brandon

Originally Posted by TTMom

Don't feel silly. It's probably one of those sayings that's more popular in other areas than where you're from. There's things that people in NJ say that completely lose me.

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lol! Like what?

If your sister hasn't called back after that, she's in shock!
Return the card with a note saying he wasted his money and forget all about it.

Cheryl, You showed a lot of emotional growth, not just by telling her off but you allowed yourself to get angry. I think I can safely assume that you are not one to express your anger and just keep it bottled up inside you. As another person with depression, I know that trait all to well. I'm trying to work on the same thing in therapy now. Bravo to YOU!

I can't think of any right now, but if you'd say any of your home grown sayings I could tell you what they were. I nearly died when I realized my nephew was calling the police the po-pos. None of the adults knew what it was, but it's common teen slang in Houston.

Originally Posted by Mom of Franz

Cheryl, You showed a lot of emotional growth, not just by telling her off but you allowed yourself to get angry. I think I can safely assume that you are not one to express your anger and just keep it bottled up inside you. As another person with depression, I know that trait all to well. I'm trying to work on the same thing in therapy now. Bravo to YOU!

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I'm not sure why exactly, but, your message got to me the most, emotionally, that is. I think it's cause it's like you read me so well. You know exactly what I feel. I do allow myself to get angry, but, am not one to express it. It's either fight or flight, and for me it's always flight.

I get scared when I get mad cause I know no medium. And felt if I ever do tell someone off, I'll never talk to them again, cause they aren't going to like what I have to say. Although I'm expected to listen, and take, what they dish out.

It's funny but so far this year, I've lost 3 people that were close to me, or so I thought. Now that they know I'm not taking their crap, no one wants to know me. They all just like the "Joking Around Cheryl". I'm so sad and feel so alone, maybe it's better to stay the way I was. At least people talked to me, or told me off, but it was better than being all alone.

Cheryl, my friend, you will make new friends who not only treat you like an equal but respect your differences. You need friends to walk WITH you NOT on you! XXX000
Barbara

Originally Posted by Mom of Franz

Cheryl, my friend, you will make new friends who not only treat you like an equal but respect your differences. You need friends to walk WITH you NOT on you! XXX000
Barbara

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Wow, Barbara! I think I'm just gonna come to you for therapy! I humbly ask you if I can use that quote above that says "You need friends to walk WITH you NOT on you! It is worth so much to me. I've never heard it before. Either way, thank you so much for your sincere concern. Not that you meant to, but, you got me crying again, GOD I'm a mess!

Originally Posted by Jaspers Mummy

I think she needs to get her prioritys into order some how sorry hit a nerve

I hope you feel better really really soon

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Boy, that's what I was thinking exactly! You guys are more of a family to me than my actual family.

I love you all!