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I am sad... - Page 2

post #31 of 59
Thread Starter 
Woke up early this morning, I cant stop thinking about him. I had a dream about him last night. I keep remembering his facial expressions. Today seems to be harder than yesterday.
post #32 of 59
Awww Kellye i know how you feel because a friend who i'd gone to school with committed suicide 2 years ago and i was supposed to be seeing her for a few drinks the week after she did it and i kept going over the conversation we had when arranging to see each other

It'll take a while to sink in whats happend
post #33 of 59
Oh Kellye, I am thinking of you and his family with all my love and healing }}}VIBES{{{ coming your way
post #34 of 59
I'm so sorry Kellye. I hope you can find answers and peace.
post #35 of 59
Thread Starter 
This is a picture of Rick....

He was a good looking guy that was popular with the ladies.
post #36 of 59
Awwwwwwww so sad, bless him
post #37 of 59
Oh Kellye that's got to be really rough I know what it's like to lose a friend, but I couldn't never imagine not knowing why. I'm absolutely heartbroken for you, but you know what? In a way I'm glad that you never had to see him suffer in any way... because it was so sudden, although losing him is tough, you'll always remember him being happy. How he laughed and smiled... not as someone in pain or misery. I hope you'll always remember the good times. God bless you - I'm sure Rick is watching over you, may his soul rest in peace.
post #38 of 59
Oh Kellye My thoughts with you... God Bles him...
post #39 of 59
I am so sorry to hear about your loss, i hope you find out what happened!
post #40 of 59
Kellye, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Sudden, unexpected deaths do happen, and there aren't always answers as to why. My older brother died in his sleep quite unexpectedly in 1991 - he was 37. The police investigated it as a homicide, then a suicide, then an accident, and then natural death. After months and months, a tentative conclusion was reached - several pathologists concluded that he died of acute respiratory distress (in his case, an asthma attack) triggered by his new neighbors' 3 Persian cats. That conclusion is not 100%, so we still wonder why. The one solace I find is that he didn't suffer for weeks or months. Just a few years ago, a friend dropped dead in her kitchen while putting her groceries away - the prognosis was heart failure, but how many 50-year-old women experience heart failure while "exerting themselves" while stashing groceries in the fridge? I really hope that an answer is found in your friend's case, but all too often the only answer is "fate". When your time comes, that's it.
post #41 of 59
Thread Starter 
To all my friends...
Many of you have already heard that my son died. I just want to ask for prayers for him, for his sisters and for his daughter. This is tough, but we can get through knowing that we have support all over the place. =) Rick was 32, had his own business going in Asheville and had many friends there that will miss him. He also had many friends in Virginia, that is where he went to school, where he married, where his daughter was born... to us, that was home. He will be going "home". I don't specific details yet on a time, I'm hoping Friday in Va. Beach. If I don't get back online with info, please check with Va. Pilot Ledger Star or Holloman Brown Funeral Home. I will be meeting with them for final details tomorrow. I know I don't have the email addresses of everyone that knew him; if you know of others, please forward this on.

The cause of death is coronary heart disease. So young but when the Big Guy taps you on the shoulder and calls you home, it's time. In advance, thank you all.

Love, Ella
post #42 of 59
Originally Posted by Kiwideus
I keep seeing his laugh in my mind as he had this unique expression when he laughed.
And isn't that the best thing? He's still laughing, with that funny little expression. And now he's laughing with angels, and dancing on sunrays. How lucky you are that all you need to do is shut your eyes, quiet your mind, and hear his laughter again to know he is all right. How special that knowing...that understanding.

Kellye, I know your heart hurts right now. But know that in time, that gorgeous ladies' man's memory will only bring laughter and joy back to you. Know that in time, the hurt will be less, and the brightness he brought to you will be brilliant and shiney again.

And until then, whenever it hurts too much, shut your eyes and quiet your mind. Remember his funny expression, hear his laughter, and know he's with you still...

Much love to you, my friend.

post #43 of 59
Thread Starter 
Michele - that was lovely! Thank you! It does help to ease the hurt. I keep thinking about the times we talked and laughed and just teased each other. He was an easy target. I shall treasure those memories.
post #44 of 59
Rest In Peace Rick.

Kellye, you all have an extra special angel watching over you now.
post #45 of 59
Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. (((Hugs))) It's always hard to lose someone but I think particularly someone young.
post #46 of 59
Thread Starter 
Is there anyone in Virginia that has a subscription to the Pilot Ledger Online? I cannot see his obit as it is private and only open to subscribers - my best guess is so that his ex girlfriend doesnt see it and turn up at the funeral - but unfortunately, she already knows and is going. Long story short - she stalked him, hounded him, caused a lot of stress in his life.

There will be a memorial service here in Asheville this sunday. I am going there and I know it will be hard then as it is hard now, but we can say goodbye and remember him.

I feel so sad. I miss him already.
post #47 of 59
Kellye, I know this is belated but I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone involved is in my thoughts. How tragic.
post #48 of 59

Oh Kellye, I'm so, so sorry. He was a beautiful man, and he leaves so many behind. He was obviously dear to you, and the shock of something so unexpected to someone so young - as someone else pointed out, there just aren't words in the dictionary for it.

It is so sad when people aren't mentally healthy and can't let go. I'm sorry his ex-girlfriend caused so much extra stress in his life. But with so many other caring people in his life, I'm sure they held a beautiful service, and though it is of little real comfort to you now, I'm sure he'll be remembered long and well.

Though it is painful, remember his funny expressions, I hope they make you smile, even if sadly. If he was your friend, he must have been a wonderful man.

post #49 of 59
Thread Starter 

Right now I am just angry. Sometimes I feel that if the ex didnt badger him so much, maybe he would still be alive. He met this girl who was nice and he was ready to settle down. But guess who was in the background, giving him a hard time? Why couldnt she let go? He has a 12 year old daughter. The ex wants money that was owed to her and plans to hit the mother up for it. I think it is bad taste, when I think it could be used for funeral expenses and his daughters future.

I am glad that we were good friends, even though it was for a short time. And I hope that wherever he is, he is at peace. He wanted to be a pilot. He wanted to see his daughter more. He loved scuba diving. He loved laughing and having a good time.

Fly with the angels, Rick.
post #50 of 59
i'm so sorry for your loss, kellye.

post #51 of 59
Well now he is a pilot and soaring high. I am sorry for your loss, and I hope that soon you will find the even ground again-
post #52 of 59
i am sorry for your loss

i dont know what funerals are like there.
But i heard that here you can limit to only FAMILY being able to go to the funeral.

I lost one of my friends when i was 11, he was 15. he had a dog and the dog ate his ear and part of his neck.
i know how sad it is. it is still hard for me to immagine that he isnt there anymore.
I remember him being caring and so funny and smiling.
But atleast thats how i remember him.
good luck
post #53 of 59
Again Kellye, so sorry for your loss, sending you hugs as tight as you need them!
post #54 of 59
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Mom of Franz
Again Kellye, so sorry for your loss, sending you hugs as tight as you need them!
Thanks Barbara, I could do with that!
post #55 of 59
Originally Posted by Mom of Franz
Again Kellye, so sorry for your loss, sending you hugs as tight as you need them!
Same here, Kellye you've had a horrible shock and I just wanted to tell you to give yourself all the time you need to grieve for your friend. Don't try to rush through this no matter what, and we are all here for you whenever you need us....
post #56 of 59
Thread Starter 
The memorial service was today...it was lovely. I recited this poem:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened rain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my brave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am the song that will never end.
I am the love of family and friend.
I am the child who has come to rest.
In the arms of the Father who knows him best.

When you see the sunset fair,
I am the scented evening air.
I am the joy of a task well done.
I am the glow of the setting sun.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

This morning, it was warm, and after the service, it was windy. I like to think it was Rick, acknowledging that I recited the poem - because of the line "I am a thousand winds that blow" and right now we have snow flurries which makes me think of "I am a diamond glint on snow"

I did learn today that he had an enlarged heart. So we can say he had a big heart. After the service, it is getting easier for me to accept.
post #57 of 59
I love that poem, it is the one I read at my father's funeral. A wonderful one to read for a special person, a good friend.
post #58 of 59
Beautiful poem, Kellye. You are in my thoughts!
post #59 of 59
Yes, Kellye, that's a wonderful poem. A lovely thing to give him as a parting gift. I'm glad you are beginning -- emphasis on "beginning" -- to find acceptance, but it takes as long as it takes. Be gentle with yourself.
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