Strange questions I got asked...

kev · Jan 7, 2005

Last night, had a call from a mate who lives not far - him and his wife just celebrated the safe arrival of their second daughter - layla on the monday after christmas. Anyway, he wanted advice on having a vasectomy and if he should have it... Am off to see him later today to tell him to get it done as its the best thing possible. He was a bit hesitant when initially we spoke but he knew I had it done and never regretted a day of it. Spent about 20 minutes talking about the whole thing - and hes asked me to call round as he was in two minds and now hes in one. He's booking an appointment with the doc today to get a date. Told him, for what its worth I will go with him on the day of the op if he wants as I know exactly what happens and how he will feel.
Made him realise that his wife will no longer has to have the daily tablet and all that monthly concern - they are dedicated to each other - so it gives them both so much more peace in their minds.
Nice to be able to give something positive back and I will always reitterate the same fact, men should get it done. Take the weight and responsibility off women for once.
Strange huh?? me giving advice on getting that done!!!

ashleigh · Jan 7, 2005

My brother also got it done.
They have four gorgeous children, and my sis in law said if she could have a child everyday she would! But she had a really bad time with the last, emergancy c section, lost alot of blood and almost lost her life. My brother said he was never going to put her at risk again even though they adore children..and after alot of soul searching he went ahead, there was a time when they did regret it and he enquired about having it reversed, but they came to terms with it and were greatful for the family they had, that was 10 years ago now.

yayi · Jan 7, 2005

Originally Posted by kev

Take the weight and responsibility off women for once.

lillekat · Jan 7, 2005

Ah Kev, but it is good to hear a guy willing to take some of the weight off women for once!! There should be more like you out there

although having said that - I've had an implant done that means I don't have to worry about taking pills or anything for a whole three years. It's been a real blessing for me - no pills, no monthly monster, no responsibility - it's fab!! If anything I'd advise his wife to get one of those done as well seeing as it stops your monthly cycle too - for women like me who suffer really badly at that end of the month, it's a Godsend! So they're stopping after the Brit average of 2 kids? Sensible choice in my opinion.

Tell him I'm wishing him luck!

mamacat · Jan 7, 2005

Originally Posted by kev

Take the weight and responsibility off women for once.
Strange huh?? me giving advice on getting that done!!!

Not strange, Kev, though possiby unique--but incredibly refreshing to see a man with your view on things. I have to pat you on the back for that one. It has always bothered me that the burden of "family planning" seems to always fall squarely on women.

One thing to note--and you probably already know this, since you had the procedure yourself--but it takes a little while for it to "take." My dad has a friend whose youngest child was conceived post-vasectomy--guess not everything was out of the pipeline yet, so to speak...

darkeyedgirl · Jan 7, 2005

I hear it's much easier for a man to get fixed than it is a women. Having been fixed myself (tubal ligation), I can say I think it would certainly be easier for a man. Most men are totally against having their 'stuff' messed with down there - I've heard guys say they are afraid it just won't work afterwards. Which is nutty. Women still work just fine after being fixed, however, we have many issues; such as, ovarian cysts which burst every month, painful ovulation, offbeat periods, etc. It is nice of your friend to definitely take that burden off of his wife. Very nice!

turtlecat · Jan 7, 2005

Originally Posted by LilleKat

Ah Kev, but it is good to hear a guy willing to take some of the weight off women for once!! There should be more like you out there

although having said that - I've had an implant done that means I don't have to worry about taking pills or anything for a whole three years. It's been a real blessing for me - no pills, no monthly monster, no responsibility - it's fab!! If anything I'd advise his wife to get one of those done as well seeing as it stops your monthly cycle too - for women like me who suffer really badly at that end of the month, it's a Godsend! So they're stopping after the Brit average of 2 kids? Sensible choice in my opinion.

Tell him I'm wishing him luck!

I can't get the implant, as in the US they're not carried due to concerns bout the silicon -.- such a tiny amount of medical grade hard silicon shouldn't relieve me of my right to a forgetful but controlled kid free for now situation.. And they last 3-5 years too *weep*

catherine · Jan 7, 2005

I think that's great....most men feel like they are going to lose part of their "man hood" and that's why they won't do it. In the summer of 2003, my husband and I were trying to get prego for our 2nd but I found out I had a life-threatening blood clot and was hospitalized for alomost 2 weeks. The docs told me that I could never take any form of birth control again and if I got pregnant again I would need to see 3 doctors because I would be a high risk pregnancy. Well, my clot is finally gone and we're trying again. My husband has stepped up to the plate and decided that after we have our 2nd child he will "get fixed"

. The only way the docs will even consider a procedure on me is if I had to have an emergency c-section which isn't likely.

Ladies....please remember that blood clots are life threatening and birth control pills were the cause of my clot. It is very serious and more women than you think are diagonsed with blood clots due to "pills". I'd also like to point out that I was ONLY 26 when I was diagnosed. It was VERY scary! I could have lost my life. Please be careful!

kev · Jan 7, 2005

well - that was easy - he went this afternoon to the gp following my visit and hes booked in for 15 April 05. I told him everything - worst part was a scratch, best part/s was and is knowing you have a) done the right thing, b) done the right thing for your wife and done it for the right reasons and c) for the future peace of mind of both of them. Advised its a week - if that of a couple of paracetamol and its not pain, just like a bit of cramp and its better than what his wife would have to go through if she had the whole lot done..... ie removed the nursery.....Three months is a long time off work. I have told him that I will - if I can take the day off, go with him for a bit of morale support - been there - done it and got the t shirt and am not complaining. So hes booked in and he wont regret it. Hes still talking to me as well!!!
It all sounds as though I am very anti men doesn't it ??? I'm not. May be in my fortunate position with more lady friends than I can count (you lot inc), I can see a womans perspective..surely thats not so bad?
Told him its nothing, its over in a snip......whose next for some pursuading?????

mamacat · Jan 7, 2005

Originally Posted by kev

It all sounds as though I am very anti men doesn't it ???

No way! A surgical solution is much less invasive for men than it is for women, and has way fewer potential complications, not to mention fewer guaranteed side effects as well. And Catherine is right--the pill is not without its physical risks, plus it messes with the hormone balance in your body, and some women simply can't take it. So, no, you're not anti-man. Expecting a woman to subject themselves to this stuff just because she's the woman (rather than because the couple has decided together it is the best choice for them) is actually anti-woman--and selfish.

kev · Jan 7, 2005

Expecting a woman to subject themselves to this stuff just because she's the woman (rather than because the couple has decided together it is the best choice for them) is actually anti-woman--and selfish.[/QUOTE said:
That I agree with 100 per cent. At least you lot see my point of view and that I am actually very pro woman in this instance. Men are too bull headed and stubborn in this department and seem to think that they loose some of their "manhood" as something very small has been taken away. The fact that having their bits fiddled with is a fact of life - trust me women have it far worse and if they can go through that every year / two etc, then its 20 minutes and all over for us. Let me tell them this from someone in my position. I have lost - 1000% ansolutely ..nothing. I have gained even more love and respect than I ever deserved from my wife and other lady friends (by this I mean friends - you know what I mean) and as far as "manhood" is concerned, I may have a screw loose with the way my head works (and you lot sort it out time after time), but thats the only thing thats wrong. Actually, things are even better and continue to be, without the worry of the future health of the person who I hold most dear in my life, my wife Carol (dont tell her this!). Also, the problems associated with blood clots are very real and something that women are not always aware of risks due to birth control. This is one way of eliminating (I believe) this risk and if any chap wants my advice - you know where to send them.

sanctie · Jan 7, 2005

You are awesome,, I think I will send my boyfriend your way!! Not on advice about a vasectomy,, but just plain advice period, so that he can better understand women!
LOL,,, Kudos on your great perpective about men/women.
===Stevie

ash_bct · Jan 7, 2005

Kev I think that is wonderful!
It would be nice if there were more men in the world like you!

Originally Posted by turtlecat

I can't get the implant, as in the US they're not carried due to concerns bout the silicon -.- such a tiny amount of medical grade hard silicon shouldn't relieve me of my right to a forgetful but controlled kid free for now situation.. And they last 3-5 years too *weep*

Turtlecat, have you ever thought of the depo-provera shot?
It only lasts 3 months, but its an easy shot in the arm, every 3 months, no periods, nothing! I love it

wellingtoncats · Jan 7, 2005

Kev, good on you helping out a mate! Hope he gets through it ok!

kev · Jan 7, 2005

Originally Posted by ash_bct

Kev - It would be nice if there were more men in the world like you!

If there is and they have more hair - can I have some sent please.....

Strange questions I got asked...

kev

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ashleigh

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yayi

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lillekat

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mamacat

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darkeyedgirl

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turtlecat

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catherine

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kev

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mamacat

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kev

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sanctie

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ash_bct

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wellingtoncats

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kev

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