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Is it wrong?-a venting thread

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Sorry this is a long post:

Ok to start out my father is scitzophrenic which is a mental disability. And im bipolar which is also a mental disability. We have never gotten along since i have been 13 when i was addicted to drugs and he did them with me. He said he did it to try to "bond" with me, but to me i lost all respect for him and trust.
anyways since then things have been going down hill between our family i was in and out of hospitals most of my adolescence trying to be stable and not commit suicide. I am all stable now for a year yeah! but since those days everything like i said went down hill my father started taking off "running away" the first time it was for a month after i was sexually assulted.and then on me and my mother were basically on our own he came back and said he would never do it again and i now at that time hated him even more. my mother now started to lose feelings for him when she found out the truth about him getting high with me and now this.
then about a month ago 2 weeks before christmas he left again. it hurt me and my mother badly, he promised not to do it ever again. and between these times he orders cell phones and gets checking accounts that we cant afford. and when he leaves he takes all our money and our cars that run and leaves us penny less and with no transportation.
well he came back about 5 days before christmas and now today he took off again for no reason when he was sposed to go to a treatment center and get help for his illness!
i dont know what to do im trying to tell my mother enough is enough. i think she is too scared to live without him and stuff. But i cant put up with this anymore and she cant eather she is always saying how this time is the last time if he messes up again thats it. then he does something worse and 4 more times.can you guys send good vibes our way too get through this? and prayers to give my mum the strenght to say enough is enough?
post #2 of 11

You are the same age as me and i know the stress you are going through.
You are 18 though so YOU legally can get out.
and for your mother. i know how hard it is but it is HER CHOICE to stay with him or not!
You can report him for taking all of the money and stuff.
what he is doing is wrong and you need to consult to someone who can help you both financially and lead you out of a psychos lifestyle. its not fair to you.
especially being sexually assulted and going through drugs.
You need to hang in there, because life is so much more colourful than this!
post #3 of 11
^ Good advice, Fwan.

Hang in there ozzykitty. Sending prayers your way.
post #4 of 11
Move out and get a savings account. Have your mom put a little money into that account, but cannot draw it out unless you do it. If dad shows up and takes her money again she will still have this account
post #5 of 11
K... you say your mom is scared that she can't live without him? If he keeps taking off, she's not with him, right? I mean... It's hard to be WITH someone while they are gone...

Fwan is right. YOU can help yourself, but you cannot force your mom into doing anything she isn't ready for.

I will keep you in my thoughts, and hope that she can straighten her feelings out and walk away. This kind of life is NOT healthy for you or your mom. Nobody diserves that. Good luck.
post #6 of 11
My mom is scitzophrenic also....shes catatonic, so I know to a degree what you are going through...the difference being you dad physically left, my mother emotionally, and mentally left....My dad raised my sister and I all on his own as a single dad, though my mother lived in the house...Its kinda a wierd feeling...
Your father is sick, and it is this disease that makes him this way...he needs help, but unfortunatly because he is over 18 he has to want help for it to be provided, unless he gets so bad off that you can go through the courts to find him incompitant...but if he can drive and such I dont think it will work in your case.......
I dont blame you for being upset and having enough, there were many years of my life I just wished for a different mother...My father did the best he could...he was a good father and I love him more than anything, but he couldnt teach my sister and I basics like how to french braid, or apply make-up, or how to deal with our period...and the most frustrating part was she was only in the other room.......
I wish you the best...I know this is tough, but you will make it through....I am sending you tons of vibes, and I hope this all gets better for you soon
post #7 of 11
Both you and your mom need to contact an agency that deals with emotional abuse and mental disorder personalities to get help. Your mom cannot leave until she is learns that what she is doing is harmful all the way around. That info coming from family members does not work. She needs proffesional help. As for your dad. The more any of you allow him to apologize and accept more abuse, you are giving him the go ahead.

Thoughts and vibes are sent your way, but nothing can change until the right choices are made...no matter how painful.
post #8 of 11
I think Fran gave some great advice! She's right in that you can't force your Mum to make a decision but you can make your own.

Sounds like you need a heap of support for you to get through this so i hope you have some family and/or friends around you.

In the meantime sending hugs and good vibes your way . I hope things start to look a little more positive soon.
post #9 of 11
my thought are with you and i hope you and you mum can get through this really awful time. just remember, what knocks us in life only makes us stronger
post #10 of 11
Prayers on the way for you AND your mother. Is there any chance of getting co-dependancy counciling for your mom? Sounds as though she needs it. Hugs to you and to her during this difficult and stressful time.
post #11 of 11
Originally Posted by cazx01
my thought are with you and i hope you and you mum can get through this really awful time. just remember, what knocks us in life only makes us stronger
Well said Carrie!!
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