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Sad for my friend

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
L and I were friends in high school. That's 40 years ago. We stayed in touch for a few years after that, but then lost touch. She moved away, I moved away...you know how it goes.

12 years ago, we reconnected. I (in BC) sent a request to a radio program that airs nationally, and she heard it in southern Ontario (2,500 miles away) and wondered if this were the same person, etc, etc -- looked for a telephone number, picked up the phone, and on a Friday evening, as I was waiting for Rob to come home, there was this voice from the past. We talked for an hour or more, exchanged addresses, and have been in sporadic touch ever since. Always, we exchange greetings around Christmas, and one or two other times each year.

Her husband has been fighting cancer for several years, with varying degrees of success. Tonight I picked up her email, in which she confirmed that this is now a palliative care situation. Nobody has any illusions anymore, and it's now about balancing pain management with some degree of alertness. She is his primary caregiver, but does get some respite. It sounds like as good as such situations get, and she's content, because she wants to tend her soulmate.

I've never even met B. They made a trip west earlier this year, and we might have connected then, but B was taken ill on the journey and all he saw of BC was hospitals. I gather it was touch and go for a while, but they got home and things settled somewhat, but have gone downhill since then.

I put L's email aside. I can't answer it tonight. I'm just sad for her. Send them some vibes, will you? For a really good piece of time for these soulmates to end their time together on this earth well, and for as easy a passing as B can have, and for peace for L. I don't know at this point how long B has but...

Funny...I haven't seen L in at least 35 years, we didn't live in each other's pockets then, and we haven't lived in each other's pockets since we reconnected...but the connection feels so strong...

Thanks for listening.
post #2 of 17
Fran, your friend and her husband are in my thoughts. How sad.
post #3 of 17
Fran that is so sad and i will be thinking of them.

You've found your friend again so please keep in touch with her
post #4 of 17
I had a similar situation a few years ago - when I was a child we lived in Washington DC for a few years (my Dad was posted there) and my best friend lived down the street. We wrote for a while after I came back to the UK, then lost touch. Then, 40 years later, she sent a letter to my parents' old address and it was miraculously forwarded to me. She and her husband came to Europe that summer and we met up as if we had never been apart. From then we emailed each other regularly. Then a few months later she told he had contracted leukaemia, but was fighting it. Sadly, he died the next year. She wrote that she was so pleased he had met me as I was her only childhood friend left. That was three years ago, now she is doing a further degree and is very involved in plans for her son's wedding next summer, which I hope to attend. So God/fate sends us the people we need at the right time. It is good that you can be there for your friend. Remember the good times with her and make her laugh - the friends from long ago always have a special place in our hearts.
post #5 of 17
I am not quite sure what to say, however, your story has touched my heart. Best wishes for your friend and her husband!
post #6 of 17
sending lots and lots of vibes to both L & B - I hope that this time can be as painfree as possible for them both

so glad you have reconnected with your friend - surely sounds like she will need all the friends possible at this time in their life
post #7 of 17
It really is amazing, isn't it, Fran, the incredibly strong bond we can feel with someone even when separated by so many miles. This is such a sad situations, your friend and her husband will definately be in my thoughts. You are a wonderful friend for supporting her during this difficult time.
post #8 of 17
Oh Dear Frannie, so sad this.... Thank´s for Share with us, hope you feel better...
post #9 of 17
I am tearing up thinking of your friend and her husband. It takes such a strong person to deal with these kinds of things. But even strong people need a helping hand or an arm to lean on, so be there for her as much as you can. I feel horrible for B as well, seeing as it is prob. even harder for him. I pray that God gives him a peaceful end, and gives both of them sweet closure.Amen
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all your good thoughts. I'm hoping that I'll stop tearing up whenever I think of them -- soon -- so I can write whatever the message is that L needs from me just now. She's not the type that needs or wants slop, so I'll need to be calmer than I am.

post #11 of 17
She just needs to know you are there.

My best friend lost her husband almost 2 years ago to pancreatic cancer. They were an ideal couple and he was a marvellous man. During his last few months, my other friend and I went over every second Saturday and took dinner to her and spent time with him in their bedroom just talking, and being there. He asked us to look after her when he was gone - we have.

She just needed someone to talk to and cry to and we listened and hugged and let her know it was okay to let it all out to us. It was a sad time for everyone.

My heart goes out to all of you as I know first-hand how trying this time is.
post #12 of 17
They're both in my thoughts, and I wish him an easy end.
Isn't it odd when you suddenly reconnect with somebody you haven't seen in decades? I got an email from a guy I haven't seen since high school today. He ran into somebody else from the class of '75 whom I regularly email, and she passed along my addy.
post #13 of 17
I am thinking of her and her husband and am praying for them.
post #14 of 17
To paraphrase Schiller and Beethoven..."Be embraced all ye millions with a kiss from all the world."
post #15 of 17
Oh Frannie, please know I"m with you in spirit. I can only imagine losing a spouse, and I pray I don't find out for a long time yet. I'm sure your friend just needs to know that your there...........the you have for her is unspoken..........I will send good vibes to them, as well as my prayers.
post #16 of 17
So God/fate sends us the people we need at the right time
Couldn't have said that any better.

This is a really touching story. I wish peace for both of them.
post #17 of 17
Is sending them and you good vibes

When people are nearing the end i often wonder what its like to go accross to the other side. I hope we all get to walk along the rainbow when this does happen.
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