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the great male dominates??

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
normal courier dark blue

a big meow to one and all --
gee I wonder if that greeting has ever been used before lol
oh well ;; hey gang ; I have a question for you all ...
my dearest kelly kat rat died months ago ... his companion and
sister not by birth ... lupo was so very sad for the longest time ...
she did come round though ...
but the thing is ... when Kelly was with us being the male - he ran the house -- he was good to Lupo the female -- but she certainly knew her place in the scheme of things .. her personality has totally
changed since his death ... I have watched her grow into a totally
different cat ... oh like I said she was so sad and so down for weeks
after his death .. now though she is confident funny adventurous daring - loving -- outgoing -- she actually sat on one of the kids
lap the other day and allowed the little boy to pet her ... wow and I mean wow ... no one and I mean no one has ever been allowed that
priviledge except my husband and myself ... she is so very different..
is it because the great male is gone ... just how strong is that
male female thing in the animal world ... I know it is pretty bad
in the human world and without all our struggles over the years
we the females would still be at the bottom of the pole ...
just where are we exactly in the year 2001 hmmmm ???
hopefully all the women on this forum have found their place ...
a strong and real place in our world but that is another topic ...
will Lupo revert back to the her past behaviour if I bring a male
kitten into the home ... please some input from my fellow meowers
peace kellykatrat .... protect and love the ones that have no voice..
post #2 of 6
Interesting question...

I first had Cagney, a 3 year old female, very "normal" cat, not overly passive or aggressive, and pretty affectionate and friendly.

Several months ago I brought in LilyBelle, at the time she was about 2 1/2 months old, and soon became the Alpha...no question about it...she runs the house, but is a kind and benevolent master

Just recently I inherited my 22 year old sons kitty Gilligan, a 5 month old male...but Lily is still very much the dominant cat in the house.

Cagney is probably second, and Gilligan is last in the pecking order.

Cagney recently had 4 kittens, and honestly, the 2 females are much more outgoing and just plain "pushier" than the 2 males, who are pretty timid and sweet.

So I don't know that gender really plays a part in the harmony in the cat world...maybe Lupo is just happier and more outgoing when she is the only kitty in the home?

I'm no expert though, so this is just the example in my home.
post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 
small dark blue century
cleo --- thanks for the words and the thought ---
my husband and I were just talking this afternoon about this
situation --- miss lupo was out in the back yard with us --
being a total sweetheart -- rolling in the dirt and talking away
man oh man can that cat talk .... we have decided to get her a sister
just because -- we are not really sure of the reason for the change
in her personality ... and maybe she is a loner .. but we think
she needs a partner in life as we all do ... right ...
this is a good thing ... my little lupo had this horrible eye infection - I had her to the vet for treatment .. drops creams this and that .. nothing seemed to get rid of this awful infection ..
her eyes were so red and swollen .. then the vet told me that a new
medicine had come available ... ok .. let's try it I told him ..
bingo .. within two days her eyes were looking wonderful .. now she
is all pretty and wide eyed clear eyed ... there are even breakthroughs in cat medicine .. thank goodness for those hard working vets ... my heart goes to them with thanks ..
I love this site but yet part of me just fears it .. reading some of
the posts breaks my heart totally .. how to heck can some people be so dam cruel to animals .. honestly I know you are not suppose to swear on this site but my temper boils and the language can get away from me so easily in this incident .. how can they be so cruel..
we need stronger laws better protection for these creatures of love .. there should be real long jail sentences for this type of crime against animals .. some day maybe better laws .. if we all work hard at getting people to listen .. with animals being such big business ; the pet food industry etc .. why are there not stronger
regulations etc .. hmmmm ...
thank goodness for all the great souls on this site .. saving and loving our creatures .. I admire all of you and respect you .
peace kellykatrat ... a big meow to all ..lol lol
could not resist .. meow
post #4 of 6
Perhaps it's less a male/female thing than it is a male/Lupo thing.

My female is very shy compared to my male. He's really an in-your-face cat. However, she was a pound kitty for six months (and goodness knows what her life was like before the pound) so that may have helped shape her personality also.

I gotta say though, I would be inclined to do what you intend and get another female. I couldn't bear losing all that new bright personality.
post #5 of 6
You know, if I think something is going to be upsetting, I just don't read it. I haven't even looked at the Rainbow Bridge page because I just know I'd be bawling for hours. And some of the health threads . . . I've cried over kittens and cats I never even met. So maybe I'm heartless, but I just can't stand hearing all the sad stuff and I skip a lot of it. (Sorry, folks who've had bad things happen. It isn't to be cruel, it's because I take everything to heart and it really gets me down.)

Hubby had 2 silver Persians when I met him, Sterling and Princess (who I renamed Baby Kitty). Neither of them was neutered, so every time BK was still for a moment, Sterling wanted his way with her. I could tell she wanted to be affectionate, but if I started to pet her, Sterling would come running and she'd take off. He was more outgoing than Baby Kitty anyway, but she just wanted to own her own body. We had to have Sterling put down after he got out - he wasn't an outdoor cat so by the time we found him he was in very bad shape and even though the vet went as far as a blood transfusion, he clearly wasn't going to make it - and after that, Baby Kitty became a whole different cat. More affectionate and cuddly, wanted to be petted, slept on our bed, didn't bolt her food, etc. . . . And I don't think she missed having kittens, either. When we moved to California, she went to live with another family who thought she was so beautiful and graceful.
post #6 of 6
This is an example of the behavior of the two cats in my home. I think the way they interacted with each other was determined more by personality than by sex.

For the last 10 years we had two cats, Midnight (female) who recently became an and Snowball (male).

Midnight was four years old when we got Snowball. Once he reached the age of 6 months, Snowball was either fighting with Midnight or trying to mate with her. Getting Snowball neutered didn't stop the fighting, and he soon became the dominent cat.

When we called Midnight, Snowball would come running. Sometimes he would stand between the person calling and Midnight, preventing her from approaching. If Snowball saw Midnight playing with one of their toys, he would take it away and play with it himself. When Snowball finished eating, sometimes he would sit near the food dish to prevent Midnight from eating. Then there were other times when Snowball would step back from the dish and let Midnight eat first.

In general, Snowball acted like he needed to watch Midnight carefully to make sure she didn't get out of line. Midnight seemed to need to have permission from Snowball before she could do certain things. A couple of times we even found Snowball biting down on Midnight's throat, and we actually had to make him stop. It was obvious to us that Snowball was the cat that was running the house.

On August 29th, we had to put Midnight to sleep, and Snowball has been alone since then. Now he is more affectionate and doesn't act like he owns the place as much as he did before. If we eventually get another kitten, Snowball will probably be dominent again regardless of the kitten's sex, but especially if the kitten is a female.

You are wondering if Lupo's behavior would go back to what it was before if you got a male kitten. In our case, both of the cats have stayed basically the same as far as behavior. They have adjusted to accomodate the changes. You may just have to try getting a kitten and waiting to see what happens.
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