Okay... I felt there was more to this dream then I could find. Please let me know your thoughts.
In my dream... I walked into a bedroom, and there was my mom, sleeping in bed. I stood there for a few minutes smiling at her. I remember the feeling so well. I was happy and comforted by seeing her sleep. I remember feeling in my heart that I hadn't seen her in a while, but on the same hand, seeing her was not strange to me.
She looked similar to my mom before she gained weight from the steroids they put her on. This was before her hair thinned from the chemo. This was before she aged 10 years in 2 from poor health and sleep. She looked more like she did when I was a young teenager. Healthy, beautiful, young... healthy. Beautiful... Her skin was dark, not pale. She was so beautiful.
I walked out of the room, and into another, then stopped. In my mind I realized that she had passed away, and there she was sleeping. I went back into the room, and she was still in bed sleeping. The wierd thing was, she and my stepdad(I call him dad). were sleeping in seperate beds, like on old sitcoms. What is really wierd is that she didn't sleep in the same room with him. She had horrible lungs, and felt closed in in small rooms, so she slept in the livingroom where there was more airflow. But they were sleeping side by side in seperate beds, seperated by an end table.
She woke up. She crawled out of bed. We walked into the livingroom and were talking, I honestly don't remember what we were talking about at that point.
We walked to the end of the livingroom, and there was like a bar, or counter or something. We stood kinda leaning on that bar, and she picked up a jacket, and got a pack of cigarettes and started to light one. I was like... NO!! You DON'T smoke, you quit.
...
...
"I'm in pain though, Tia. I'm hurting, bad, can't you see it on my face? Can't you see it in my eyes?"
I fell apart in my dream. Suddenly it hit me... She's got cancer. I started hurting so bad then. My heart was imploding. My heart hurt. Suddenly I felt the pain.
"Tia, I see the pain on your face, the pain in your eyes. You are hurting too." And she just went on talking. I don't remember the rest, I did this morning, but I worked 11 hours today, and I forgot.
I kept thinking of the dream. I didn't wake up feeling that empty hurt feeling that I get sometimes when I see her in my dreams, like being reminded I can't talk to her again. While I was dreaming, I felt her energy just like I always did when she was alive. I haven't felt that in my waking hours in about 3 and a half years. But when I am dreaming. I do remember something about a voice, or a thought that let me know that I always felt her. Day in, Day out. And I belived it in my dream. This morning I woke up feeling good. Happy. I miss her, I miss her so much. I didn't feel that empty feeling. I felt like I had JUST hung out with her.
I just wanted to post it cuz there are a few of you (you know who you are) who might understand some of it better then me. I am so emotionaly wrapped up in the whole experience, and dream, and everything that I cannot see past my emotions.
I pretty much just got that she's always with me... I thought maybe the seperate beds was my mind seperating them. I guess maybe my mind is moving on with him in his life, but now perhaps I will not dream of them together? I don't think I ever did. Maybe SHE was telling me they were seperate. Maybe he let go? Maybe she did? I don't know. I just feel that there is significance(SP?) to this dream, and through the tears and emotions I can't see it. Thankyou
We ate Christmas dinner with my dad and his girlfriend on the 26th. To me it's all family, I've never felt any negative feeling about them being together. It's been nothing but good for all of us. Especially for him, and for her. I love them both A LOT.
In my dream... I walked into a bedroom, and there was my mom, sleeping in bed. I stood there for a few minutes smiling at her. I remember the feeling so well. I was happy and comforted by seeing her sleep. I remember feeling in my heart that I hadn't seen her in a while, but on the same hand, seeing her was not strange to me.
She looked similar to my mom before she gained weight from the steroids they put her on. This was before her hair thinned from the chemo. This was before she aged 10 years in 2 from poor health and sleep. She looked more like she did when I was a young teenager. Healthy, beautiful, young... healthy. Beautiful... Her skin was dark, not pale. She was so beautiful.
I walked out of the room, and into another, then stopped. In my mind I realized that she had passed away, and there she was sleeping. I went back into the room, and she was still in bed sleeping. The wierd thing was, she and my stepdad(I call him dad). were sleeping in seperate beds, like on old sitcoms. What is really wierd is that she didn't sleep in the same room with him. She had horrible lungs, and felt closed in in small rooms, so she slept in the livingroom where there was more airflow. But they were sleeping side by side in seperate beds, seperated by an end table.
She woke up. She crawled out of bed. We walked into the livingroom and were talking, I honestly don't remember what we were talking about at that point.
We walked to the end of the livingroom, and there was like a bar, or counter or something. We stood kinda leaning on that bar, and she picked up a jacket, and got a pack of cigarettes and started to light one. I was like... NO!! You DON'T smoke, you quit.
...
...
"I'm in pain though, Tia. I'm hurting, bad, can't you see it on my face? Can't you see it in my eyes?"
I fell apart in my dream. Suddenly it hit me... She's got cancer. I started hurting so bad then. My heart was imploding. My heart hurt. Suddenly I felt the pain.
"Tia, I see the pain on your face, the pain in your eyes. You are hurting too." And she just went on talking. I don't remember the rest, I did this morning, but I worked 11 hours today, and I forgot.
I kept thinking of the dream. I didn't wake up feeling that empty hurt feeling that I get sometimes when I see her in my dreams, like being reminded I can't talk to her again. While I was dreaming, I felt her energy just like I always did when she was alive. I haven't felt that in my waking hours in about 3 and a half years. But when I am dreaming. I do remember something about a voice, or a thought that let me know that I always felt her. Day in, Day out. And I belived it in my dream. This morning I woke up feeling good. Happy. I miss her, I miss her so much. I didn't feel that empty feeling. I felt like I had JUST hung out with her.
I just wanted to post it cuz there are a few of you (you know who you are) who might understand some of it better then me. I am so emotionaly wrapped up in the whole experience, and dream, and everything that I cannot see past my emotions.
I pretty much just got that she's always with me... I thought maybe the seperate beds was my mind seperating them. I guess maybe my mind is moving on with him in his life, but now perhaps I will not dream of them together? I don't think I ever did. Maybe SHE was telling me they were seperate. Maybe he let go? Maybe she did? I don't know. I just feel that there is significance(SP?) to this dream, and through the tears and emotions I can't see it. Thankyou
We ate Christmas dinner with my dad and his girlfriend on the 26th. To me it's all family, I've never felt any negative feeling about them being together. It's been nothing but good for all of us. Especially for him, and for her. I love them both A LOT.