Yesterday was a bad day in the neighborhood

Sorry I can't add anything that hasn't been said. I hope he comes around.

I'm glad you did that Mary Anne. You shouldn't have to sit there and watch someone you love die through stupidity. Men can be like that sometimes. I hope he keeps doing the right thing.

Thanks for keeping us up to date, MA. My heart goes out to both of you. And I'll continue to keep you both in my prayers.

I'm so sorry - nobody needs this sort of stress



Thankfully the treatments for diabetes keep on improving. If he is not already testing his blood sugar level, his doctor can recommend a device for him - it allows him to track and chart his BSL. Knowing where he is at allows him to adjust his insulin intake or any other medications that he may be taking for this.

(I have diabetic relatives in my family, I know how skittish they can get sometimes about going to the doctor - the worst part is NOT knowing or assuming the worst - it doesn't have to be that way.

I'm just so sorry, Mary Anne, that you are enduring such incredible stress right now in your life and with the man you love so dearly. You did exactly the right thing to make your feelings so clearly known, and I'm glad Mike got the message. You only want what is best for him, but only he can make the effort to care for himself. You know that you both remain constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

understandably he is scared but so are you...i think you did the only thing you could do at this point....i would have done the same....i wish you both the best, and good job i hope his openess and realization continues....

Hissy,

Wow... I dealt with that with my mom. Her and her lungs. She finally decided to start taking care of herself AFTER she had cancer. When she realized she was dying and nothing could be done about it.

I fully understand not wanting to sit and watch someone who is a part of you wither away by their OWN choice. They can help it but they don't. What they need sometimes is a swift kick in the pants, as my grandfather would say. Sometimes people can shut themselves into a dark world inside where they try to make themselves believe that things are NOT the way they really are. They may function from day to day on the outside, but they are hiding.

I am so sorry that YOU have to deal with this. It is HIS problem. When you fell in love with him, a part of you was changed. He has become a part of you in ways. As a part of you, his health effects YOU too. Even if it's not the same physical problem, his health effects YOUR health, and vice versa. He might not realize that is true. He may even feel as though ignoring it will go away. Unfortunately that isn't true.

With him being a part of you, and him slowly killing himself with neglect, he is also killing you. A part of you. I understand wanting to move away from that part. You are a very valuable and important person. There is no reason to sit there and allow yourself to whitness a slow suicide.

I really hope he does realize that you are serious. I hope more then anything that he WILL start taking care of himself. 18 years is a lot to walk away from, and especially when you care so deeply. At times though, we need... NEED to take care of ourselves. Not many women, or people for that matter, would be able to put their love on the line like that. It hurts to loose someone, but it really tears you up more inside, to watch someone suffer. And to watch someone die, especially when you know it could have been prevented.

I can attest to that. My mom COULD be here today if only she would have taken a little time out for her own health. Instead we watched helplessly as she slowly killed herself. Then right after she got herself on track, and started taking care of herself, she found out she had cancer. She fought so hard, so hard to live, but she'd already given up... Unfortunately some people don't realize they want to live until they are dying... Some people don't even realize they are killing themselves until it can't be stopped...

For strength, patience, understanding, and love...

Hissy, I think it was a great day in the neighborhood.

Know why?

Because you and Mike got some things cleared up which had been eating at you both for some time. And more clarity, a deepening of both compassion and understanding (on both parts), can only be a good thing.

Sure, it was hard. But I've yet to discover anything in this world, when dealing with emotions and life questions, to be easy. The outcome was worth all the upset and turmoil. On the whole, and in the end, it was good.

Hugs to you both.

Best-
Michele

MA, since the fear of dying wasn't the motivator we vibed and prayed for, thank GOD love was. Your strength should be a lesson to us all.

Mary Anne glad you and Mike had a talk! I really hope he understands of his serious problems.

Thats something i would have done as well because sometimes they need a short, sharp shock!.

What they dont think of is our feelings and that were worried just as much!

I hate to admit this, but I'm a lot like your husband Hissy. I would almost rather die than go to the doctor, and when I do finally give in and go to the doctor, I'm terrified. I have have a severe hernia that needs to be repaired. It causes me such pain and has thrown my hips out of place to the point where I can hardly walk, but I am too scared to go to the doctor. I just wish it would get well on it's own. I know it won't, but I just can't face going to the doctor. What if he tells me I have cancer? At the very least I would need surgery on it, and I am terrified of that. I understand your husbands fear, and I also understand where you are coming from. He's lucky he has you, because at least he does have someone who is there for him.

I have some friends that will barely talk to me, until I go get this problem taken care of, and when they do talk to me, it's only about my hernia. I get angry at them for bugging me about it, but I do know deep down inside that they care about me, or they wouldn't bug me about it.

moring mary ann,
im glad you were able to talk things out i guess sometimes men get scared and are a fraid to admit im glad things worked out hang in there and take it a day at a time

Originally posted by Hissy
Turns out he is scared, and mad at himself for not paying attention to his body when he could do something about it, and now that is spiraling out of his control he is agitated.

Click to expand...

I don't think it's too late for Mike to start taking better care of himself at all. He should talk to his doctor about these concerns, and you should be by his side when he does this to provide good morale support.

Still sending lots of vibes and prayers to you both!

Thinking of you both this morning, and hoping that today is a better day for you both.

Mary Anne, is that a new revelation for Mike to actually admit that he's afraid and also angry at himself? Hopefully it means he's beginning to see the light.

It sounds like the 2 of you had a break through! You did the one thing that was guarenteed to make him sit up and take notice. He knows as well as you do that you are both the best things that have ever happened to each other and it took you walking out the door to realise that what he WASN'T doing was making you walk out the door.

I hope that this has helped him turn the corner and start on a path to healing and health. I will keep him in my prayers. I will also keep sending prayers of strenght to you as well!

What a terrible thing to have to do, but sometimes, it's the only thing that works. Now that you have talked it out, I hope things get better. Plus, now that he knows you are serious, he'll get himself the help he so desperately needs. Good luck and God bless.