Yesterday was a bad day in the neighborhood

It started out innocently enough, I finally got a doctor's appointment, a real one for Mike. But when he found out I had made it, he exploded at me. Said I could go alone, because he wasn't going! I snapped about then- and we had a raging fight. We have been married 18 years and I can count on one hand how many actual fights we have had. This one was a bad one, culminating in something i don't normally do delivering an ultimatum. Either he goes to the doctor next week or I leave him. I told him I won't sit here while he kills himself from stupidity. He didn't believe me, then he capitulated and said he would go. But said he was really angry. Then last night he changed his mind and said he wouldn't go...sigh....

This morning, my girlfriend came with her trailer and we started loading my two horses inside. He saw then I was serious. He stopped the loading and we sat down and had a good cleansing talk.

Turns out he is scared, and mad at himself for not paying attention to his body when he could do something about it, and now that is spiraling out of his control he is agitated. Plus his blood sugar being so high makes him irritable. It was a good talk after a really dark day yesterday. I had left him for four hours, didn't tell him where i was going, just took off for a long drive and a walk around the lake.

I did tell him that i left one man because I didn't care enough about him, but that won't stop me from leaving the only man that ever mattered to me in my life. I would not sit here and watch him die and do nothing to stop it.

Sometimes you really have to take drastic action to get somebody to wise up. You did the right thing, M.A., because he really must start taking better care of himself. I just hope it scared him enough to have a long-term impact.

Sigh, MEN!

What a hard day for you both. It can be so frustrating trying to get someone to take proper care of themselves. The last time my dad saw a doctor was about 30 years ago. He really needs to get his cholesterol checked out, I've got really high cholesterol with a fairly low cholesterol risk lifestyle and my dad has some telltale signs - but no-one can get him to see a doctor. For the same reason that Mike said - he's scared. My dad is so scared of dying that he won't go to the one person that could make him better if he had anything wrong. The reason why - he's afraid of what he might hear . It takes something really hard-hitting to get through that (I haven't managed it yet). It sounds like you had to take some hard-hitting action to get through to Mike.

I hope it settles down for you now and he can get his body back under control. It's been a really hard time for you and please know that I'm thinking of you both now and sending you both wishes that you are now reaching the end of this difficult period.

Mary Anne, I'm so relieved to hear that you had that talk, and that both of you really do understand what is going on now.

I'm sorry it had to go out in such a bad way, but at least he understands the severity of it now. I hope he realizes that by not having it taken care of, he's hurting you. At least good came out of the fight. Love and hugs to you both.

It takes courage for a man to admit he's scared. It takes courage for a woman to get him to that place.

I thought he was scared...it's quite something when you realize your body isn't going to work normally any more and you have to face it.

I'm sorry to hear of such a bad fight, but I hope the cleansing talk that came after, will help Mike see he's not alone in dealing with this, and that he can begin to deal with it.

<SIGH!> That WAS a bad day! One can hope that he'll have wised up some because of it -- enough? We'll see, I guess. At any rate, it's good that you got some of the stuff out in the open -- much easier to deal with it, once it's named. It's very hard to offer your support for something he won't even acknowledge.

Still praying for you both, and I'll be thinking of you, as you take these next steps.

I'm glad you both finally got all that out in the open. You're both still in my prayers.

Originally Posted by mrsd

It takes courage for a man to admit he's scared. It takes courage for a woman to get him to that place.

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I wish all the very best for you both and hope things start to turn around. It's clearly really tough for you both right now.

Oh dear! I hope you both are okay!

I admire you for having the strength to do what you did for your husband who you obviously care a lot about. I hope things get better.

MAry Anne, I have been thinking about you and praying for you both.

I admire your courage MA. Some people are very stubborn about their health. I know this from experience. Stick to your guns MA and hopefully everything will turn out. He needs to see how how his stubborness about his health affects not only himself, but those around him. I hope everything is okay.

MA, I think it's wonderful that you had that talk with Mike. He should not be ashamed to admit to you that he is scared. You are his wife and you should be the first to know about his feelings and vise versa.

Communication is very important in a relationship - without it, you don't have much.

Hugs to both of you!!!

MA i wish you all the best.

Atleast now he has admitted his problem.

Men can be so silly at times. But i hope everything works out for the good

Glad you both cleared the air and can get on with what needs to be done!

Wow. You did the courageous thing. The right thing. Good for you! That fight may well have saved his life. To him, the scope of his health problems may seem "too big", but once he sees a doctor, and a plan is implemented, he may regain a sense of control over his health. Men seem to need to "take action"...it seems to make them happy .

Mike was not only scared but he didn't want to look weak and helpless to you, the person he values most. Glad to hear you had a talk to clear the bad air.