What is WRONG with me???

Ok, well i went out of town for a few nights with My Friend, her man and his best friend Jay.

Now about 6 years ago, Jay and I had a fling. We never went all the way Well I messed it up, and after one night of staying with Jay, I went home and my ex was there, I had just dumped him for Jay. We were together, and like a fool i told someone and someone told Jay....
I did'nt think that things were really that serious b/t us, so I didnt think Jay would get mad, well the next day we were at work and Jay and I were leaning on the counter, his arms around me, that someone tells him and he let go...
We stopped seeing each other after that, I think I hurt his feelings. But we remained good friends. He then left for the Marines, and I got back with the ex, and had Kylee.
Well 6 years of being good friends, and no touchy touchy. And after we stopped seeing each other I tried to pretend i didnt like him and tried stop liking him. RIGHT..... After 6 years and one year of not seeing him at all, I was still nuts about him...


So the day comes and Mary and the men come to pick me up, I had to sit in the back with Jay. I had not seen him in almost a year or so. Things were kinda quiet for a few mins. Then we started playing our Gameboy DS', and things went on from there. We stopped at a store on the way to the hotel, he got what he wanted and I was the last one in the store, well I thought they were all waiting for me in the truck, but I turn around and Jay is standing by the door watching me. I paid for the stuff and he held open the door and we left. Now the funny thing about that was that Jay has never been like that with anyone that I have ever seen, he usually doesnt give two poos and just waits in the car. AWWWWWW sweeeeeettttt... lol
So there we were, lights out, and Mary and her man sleeping. So we had our fun the first night and second, not all the way, but it was the most fun I think I had ever had, even when i was with the ex. I had never had that much fun. And it was kinda nice, I have gained a bit of weight since we last saw each other, but it didnt bother him.. You should have heard that man, I had him gigglin' like a kid the whole night. And he is not a giggler. I have never heard him laugh like that in all the 6 years I have known him. He sounded so happy or something lol.
He asked me why I would choose him to be with, it has been almost 5 years for me, he knew that, and I told him that I felt comfy with him. He seemed kinda dispirited, so then later (lol) he asked again, and he said "why, I am stupid and and a loser" I told him that he wasnt and I told him I liked him. And then we took a cuddle break and we were talking and I said "wow we havent dont this in like 5 years" and he said "no its been almost 6". He remembered better than I did lol. and earlier that night we were all playing truth or dare, and the question came up about the first time we saw each other, and he remembered everything! I was there and I couldnt remember half of what he did He remembered and I didnt lol. And the whole time, he was so snuggy and gentle ohhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyy ....swoooooonnnn...... LOL

Right, so we didnt get to bed till around 6am, and left at 10 am and they brought me home, I brought my stuff in the house and said bye to everyone but Jay, he was still in the truck. So I go out there and got a lifethreating hug and tickle, said goodbye and they left.

Now you would think I would miss my best friend more right? Wrong! for some messed up reason I cant get this guy outta my head! And what really sucks for me is that I probly'' wont get the chance to tell him how I "really" feel. whaaaaa

I have been a mess! I actually have to hold back tears some times because I get so sad.... WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?

So someone please tell me what is wrong with me? and what am I going to do?
he lives almost 400 miles away...

Sounds like you've got bit by the twitterpated bug.

OK, now I could go into the anthropoligical (I think that's the right science) reason why you would be thinking more about Jay than Mary, but we can skip that. Let's just say it's biological.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with you. If you are in the position to persue this thing with Jay, and he is of the same inclination - Go for it! Most people's biggest regrets are not the paths they did choose, but rather the chances they let slip away. So don't let this one slip away. If it's meant to be it will work. And if it doesn't work, then at least you won't regret never trying.

Well the problem is, he lives so far away. And we would never see each other...

And my darn brain knows that, but my heart wont stop lol. and it has been 6 years, and I still am nuts for him. what is THAT about? lol

Long distance relationships are hard, but they can work if both people want them to. And if you have a really good calling plan. Considering it has been 6 years, and you are still nuts about him and it seems pretty obvious that he's nuts about you...what have you got to lose?

You have to give it a chance.......let him make a decision, he may feel the same way.

He may even decide to relocate near you.

Your story reminds me of myself.. I have been like in love w/ a friend of mine since the night i met him.. now he is forever away from me, in the air force.. and he doesnt want to risk breaking my heart bcuz of never being here.. i dont know what to think about him.. yes, im engaged.. happy *ocasionally*.. but, its not the same, i have that little.. tingle when im w/ that other guy.. dont know..

best of luck, hope you get him!

I agree Heidi. Twitterpated. Long distance relationships are really tough - but my boyfriend and I are currently 700 miles apart and in different countries - we've held it together for 4 years now. It's tough, but doable. We'll be together in July. Give it a chance... the best I can suggest is try not to get over-excited about it - the more you make yourself crazy over the man the less likely things are to really work. Gotta keep those feet on the floor! Good luck!

Does he have email??? Writing email doesn't cost a thing (if you don't count the cost for your online service) and you can IM him to "talk" and tell him what you really feel, if you know yourself.

I would give it some time and really look at the situation with your eyes wide open. Does he work? Live alone, have a girlfriend? Does he have any kids, jelous ex? Does he like/want kids? Do you trust him to tell you the truth about everything? Will he relocate to be near you? Is his work situation better where he is and should you move there? What are you looking for in a relationship? What is he looking for? What is best for your child? Will the relationship interfere with your time with your child?

Right now you are going on your feelings and you don't even know where he stands. Remove all the emotions and try to make a list of pros and cons. Include a list of how you think it will affect your child as well.Talk to him and don't hold back just let everyting fall into or out of place.

Is it him you are attracted to or the feeling of safety he provides? You need to seperate the feelings cuz they will mess you up every time. Is he a good person or does he just make you feel good? There is a huge difference. What you feel for someone can change, what a person is, never changes.

Originally Posted by DragonLady

Is he a good person or does he just make you feel good? There is a huge difference.

Click to expand...

Wow, DragonLady! That was superb advice, especially that ^. I'm going to save that and quote it for friends who ask for relationship tips.

Well DragonLady it's worth whatever your willing to put into it The distance can be a problem but not that bad, because when you do see each other it will be worth waiting till you can, and you learn alot in between.
I met my hubby online 8 years ago, we were just a little over 100 miles away from one an other.
He had been a batchlor for TWELVE years, and I a widow for 2, we talked online for several weeks, then we met halfway between where we lived, talked, had coffee and talked some more, of course everyone thought I was nuttttts, but he was in the service at the time and retired 5 years ago after 25 yrs, I figured at least he knew what commitment meant.
We have been married 7 years this last August, it wasn't easy the distance was tough, but I think he figured it would be cheaper to get married then to pay those $500.00 phone bills. And now we have a Great life and he's a wonderful person, I feel so lucky to have found him, and I just knew that it would turn out good...