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I Am Sooo Mad

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
I am really sorry to keep venting about money like this...its so petty compared to some of your problems poor chixyb and her foot, and Fawn with her mother and hissy's hubby....but I am just so mad i need to rage to someone.......
My roomate Jim is a complete jerk and I have had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jim has been my friend for almost 7 years...but recently i have found my self wishing the worst upon him.....the three of us jim john (my b/f) and i lived in an apartment together before with 2 other roomates...one of those roomates basically went crazy and we feared for our lives so we got out....the three of us got this apartment almost a year ago......
Since we moved in jim had been working at a part time slum where he recieved just enough to pay rent and buy himself stupid plants and bonsai junk!!!!! Anyhoo he didnt pay bills he didnt buy food.....John was in school full time so i was basically supporting both of them on my resonable pay check....Jim always assured us as soon as he found a better job he would get us back........I eventually left my job because i found out the manager was stealing and her ex husband would always show up and threaten us....the only job i could find was a part time minimum wage job.....jim on the other hand found the job of his dreams watering stupid plants full time for like 17$ an hour.......john got his co-op and we figured that jim would get us back plus be able to take a bit more weight onto him till i got a better job.....well ya know what instead of doing that he maxed out two credit cards bought more stupid plant junk and decided he was going to move back home so he could deal with his financial issues..............just like that that selfish jerk decided he cant pay us back and that he will go home rent free bill free....every freeking thing free!!!!!!!!! And leave all the bills here....(all in my name) to me and john...the cable has already been shut off....when it got shut off you know what he said to me..."what Bridget not paying your bills"...........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Jim is a perpetual child...he was never taught to be a man...only a boy..his mother does his laundry...shell pay his rent...bought him a car...a cell phone....he came in last night with brand new sneakers that his mother bought him...I havent had anything new in years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was talking to john about my credit card i was thinking i could get a loan from my dad or something...and jim says to me.."Oh you make fun of me for getting new shoes but you want daddy to pay of your credit cards"...AHHHHHHH thats not the point....my credit card is filled with bills and groceries...his cards are filled with plant products, going out to dinner with friends, video games.... ....................
He always talks down on me and tells me about how cool his job is and how he bought this cool new gadget that I would never be able to think of buying....he says to me "John shouldnt have to support the two of you..you need to get your act together"...what me get my act together??? He owes us almost 2 thousand dollars and thats just bills.....we got groceries for him and everything...where as hed go get an expensive dinner and not even bring us home leftovers...instead he would brag about the great meal he had...JOHN AND I ARE LIVING OFF BANQUET FROZEN DINNERS, and hes eating out everynight!!!!
And now hes moving home with his mommy who will cook for him clean for him, and hes leaving us in a hole.....John and I have no other option but to get another apartment because with the cats (ecspecially 3 cats) we dont have any family options...................we are so worried about money all the time but hes out having the time of his life...I HATE HIM!!!!!
Why it got me so bad today was I was talking to john about the budget place i was suggested..I got up to get a glass of water..when i got back hes on MY computer looking at the site..I told him to get up and he says "Bridget dont be so selfish i am more in debt then you are...you guys are in debt because you wont get a real job"
I would tell you what john and i said to him next but i would have to bleep out the entire convorsation..........

I am thinking of bringing him to court....but what will that do....it would take months....the friendship is over that selfish jerk had sealed that deal
I know this is partially my fault i shouldnt have let him taking advatage of us go as long as it did...But he WAS my friend and I would do anything for a friend.......I sure learned my lesson, and now me and john are living in poverty, while that jerk is gonna live the good life with a mother that thinks the sun rises and sets behind around him
.... Ok i feel better now thanx for listening i all you guys!!!!!
post #2 of 22
Thirteen angry breathing fire heads in your post. You are upset! And I don't blame you because he's acting like a jerk! But now his mom will have to deal with him, not you or your other roommate. Good luck on finding a better job. Hang in there!
post #3 of 22
Thread Starter 
OMG i am really sorry guys....I didnt realize how profane that was...I am really sorry if i offended any of you...I let my anger get the best of me and took it out on all of you by making you read that...I am really sorry...I edited it...I was not myself when i wrote that and didnt realize i could show my anger to you all without being profane.....I didnt mean to offend and i hope you guys can forgive me.....
post #4 of 22
No problem! I just hope you get to feeling better. Here, have some cool vibes: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
post #5 of 22
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by mrsd
No problem! I just hope you get to feeling better. Here, have some cool vibes: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanx i guess i needed those more then i knew........
post #6 of 22
He totally sucks Bridget! As I said things will look up.
post #7 of 22
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats
He totally sucks Bridget! As I said things will look up.
lol yeah he does.....thanx sam
post #8 of 22
Bridhget, you have the right to be as angry as you like - I don't think you ahve to worry about offending any of us here I know you'd certainly not offend me - it'd take a very well aimed and deliberate underhanded personal remark to get me upset!! That guy sounds like such a complete jerk... personally I would have taken him to a small claims court - but in the long run that will take time, and probably cost more money than he owes. At least you are rid of him now... and that's the best thing that could happen. To be honest, I really feel sorry for his parents to have to live in the knowlefge that their son isn't the man they'd have hoped he would be. There are lots of things you could do to help reduce your bills too - the cable has been cut off you say? Well, TV isn't an essential - you can think of other ways to enteretain yourselves... take walks, that sort of thing. Take up a hobby in crafts and arts if you haven't already done so... you can also turn the heating down by a fraction. Over here if you turn your heating down by 1 degree, you'll save yourself £30 a year. I switched my heating company too - it tends to work out cheaper if you get your gas from an electricity company and your electricity from a gas company. Frozen meals tend to be quite expensive too - fresh groceries work out cheaper in the long run - store's own brands are just as good as any name brand. Plus they have the added advantage of the fact that if you cook too much of something, that can be frozen and you can have what's left another time. I saved a lot of money on my laundry... simply by hanging it outside - my tumbler eats electricity like it's going out of fashion. I understand you guys are in an aprtment - will... it's pretty cheap to pick up a hanger that will attach to a window frame or a balcony railing. I invested in some radiator hangers too... that way I heat the house and dry little bits of laundry for next to nothing. There are tons of ways to reduce the bills for just a little while until things pick up again. If you want to go and talk to your dad, go and do it. To hang with what Jim says - the fact of the matter is, he's nothing but a little boy and won't ever be anything else. You need the help and it's going to be hard enough to ahve to swallow pride and admit it. Your parents love you no matter what though, and would do anything for you if they possibly can. You just have to forget this guy ever existed and shove him to the back of your mind - preferably out altogether - because you obviously have more to owrry about. Things will look up - you'll get a better job at some point. This is only a temporary situation. Chin up duckie!
post #9 of 22
Money comes between friends and partners more often than anything else. I am so sorry - not just for the financial situation but because of the end of a long friendship. I have lost friends because they owed me money (or claimed I owed them something, which I am reasonably sure I have never left undone in my life). So now I never lend friends more than a taxi fare. I hope very much that you and John sort this out and come out smilimg the other side. It is very good that you have his support on this and that it has not come between you.
post #10 of 22
Your post was not offensive, please don't worry about that. I expect you needed to get all that out of your system before you can start to make plans to move on with your life. It's hard enough when you get ripped off by a stranger, but ten times as hurtful when it's a so-called friend who does it to you. I like Lillekat's advice, I have done many of these things (as money is very tight at home) and they do save money. Just remember, life won't always be like this. You are going through a rough time, but it will be your turn for the good stuff soon, I hope.

post #11 of 22
Your post was not offensive! You have evry right to be angry, and this is a good place to vent. You should take the selfish jerk to court!
Sending you things-will-get-better-vibes!
post #12 of 22
Everyone say it with me: "JIM IS AN EVIL TROLL!"

(That's the "jim is an evil troll" dance...)

I'm sorry a friend did this to you. That just sucks. I think a lot of us know someone like this, someone with no sense of responsibility who can't tell the difference between a necessity and a toy. The only thing I can say is that you can rest assured that things will fall apart for him someday. Small comfort, I know, when you are struggling to make ends meet, and perhaps it's a little petty too, but hey--sometimes small and petty works for me.

As for taking him to small claims court, as some have suggested, it might not be a bad idea. You know, it's not that expensive to take someone to small claims because you usually just represent yourself rather than get a lawyer. There's a filing fee, but that's usually not that much, compared to how much he owes you--might be like 50 bucks. Anyway, if you have back statements and can demonstrate that you paid the rent, groceries, etc., it might be worth it to just give it a shot and see if you can get some of the money back (maybe his mom will shell out when she sees her baby boy getting sued...)
post #13 of 22
Hi Bridget,

I'm sorry you are having financial problems, and that this inconsiderate excuse for a friend has been so horrible to you. If I were you, I'd tell him to immediately get out and that he is no longer welcome in your home. Say your final peace to him and move on.

I'm not a big fan of dragging people to court. First reason, it drags the situation out. There is no end to it until the court decides there is. And even with a judgement for him to pay you, that doesn't mean he will. I personally think it will just cause you more grief and aggrevation, and it's better to just move on and keep this man out of your life for good.

Stefanie gave you some good advice on saving money. Every little bit can make a difference. Make sure unneccessary electrical items are turned off, turn your heat down a degree or two, buy cheaper cosmetic items (things like deodorant and shampoo can get expensive!), stick to things like pasta or rice and beans with fresh vegetables (you can make huge quantities for little money and eat them all week).

Don't be ashamed to file for bankruptcy if you HAVE to... when financial situations get unreasonably hard, and if your credit is already ruined, you stand nothing to lose except debts. I had to file when I got divorced from my first husband (over 13 years ago), and my current husband had to file (about 10 years ago) before we got married because he was struggling after his divorce. We didn't do it to "beat the system", we did it because life happens in ways we sometimes don't expect and there was no way we were going to pay off the debts of our past. In both our cases our credit was already ruined from struggling for so long. It really made a difference in our life. We were able to build our credit back up and get back and track and now we only buy things with cash we have (other than our house and our cars).

I wish you all the best! Good luck...
post #14 of 22
I was not offended about your post. That guy seem to want to take advantage of everyone. I have never had cable TV so I don't miss it. But as I work for a financial institution I would recommend sitting down and doing a budget. One of my co workers puts money in different envelopes (rent, food, utilities, car, etc) and when the money is gone for that time frame-no more until payday again. Get or put away the credit cards and only use for emergencies. Did you check out the temp agencies for jobs-most of them pay above minimum wage.
post #15 of 22
Originally Posted by ComeresMom

Stefanie gave you some good advice on saving money.
Actually I think it was Emma with the good advice (I wouldn't want to take credit for someone else's smart post). I was the one who said to drag his butt to court.
post #16 of 22
Before you try to take him to court, present him with all the bills and let him know how much he owes you. He must know electricity isn't free, and neither are the groceries. You have to give him a chance to pay before you even attempt court. Hand him the bill, and mail it to his new residence certified mail. Maybe Mommy will get him out of this jam too.

post #17 of 22
Thread Starter 
thank you all of you...I am feeling a little better today...I had a good nights sleep and am ready to face this head on.........Jim is out after the first of january...ONLY cause we need him to pay that part of his rent....(on january 31st our lease is up and we are free to move). John and I need to find a place before then (31st). But everything might turn out alright....we told any family member that asked that money would be the best gift for us this year...lol...we have been conserving our electricity.......and fortunetly heat and hot water is included in the rent so thats not a big deal..........ummmmm the reason for the frozen dinners is because the ones we have been getting are on sale for 1$...so 20$ will feed us for about 8 days....thats not bad at all.......but usually we always eat fresh veggies and such......well do this for a little while untill we can catch up a bit......I may have gotten a second job working with a friend of mine.....ill know more on thursday...that would definitly be awesome......
The problem with jims mom is that she raised him like that...she does everything for him...and totally acts bad to his sister......her not letting him do anything and cleaning and cooking for him, made it so he developed this real crazy sexist view...he is under the impression that his mother will do all these things for him (which she will) until she dies and when she diesn hell find some girlfriend to do it for him....lol.....what a crazy notion....and this is why hes still single and why he has never had a real girlfriend in his life.....blah
but yeah hopefully things will turn around soon....and with all your good vibes coming to me I am sure they will...I will keep you guys updated.... I you all
post #18 of 22
Oh wow, that is not a good situation. He sounds like a real selfish jerk!

If I were you, I would document everything that he owes you, save every bit of communication and in case something happens or if you need legal advice. Is there a free legal service in your area? THey should be able to help you, especially as you both are having problems with your budget. Also, can you take photos of what he buys and show the courts/small claims people what he is getting to show that he should be able to pay you back.
post #19 of 22
You vent as much as you like Bridget - this guy sounds like a real loser. The best thing is that in January you'll be rid of him; but he has to live with himself forever. Good luck with finding a new apartment and starting a new life with John without that leech of a "friend".
post #20 of 22
Thread Starter 
well jim was up to it again....he came home today with this absolutly delicious looking sub...it was this peppercorn parmisain cheese steak.....john and I were dinning on generic mac and cheese....he sits down with us and starts grubbing on his sub....my mouth was literally watering....I said to him "that looks good"... and he says "I have had better".....he then gets up tosses half of it in the trash and gets on the phone and orders 30$ worth of thai food for himself.....He threw it away...I know that has to be a sin....we were eating neon orange mac and cheese and he just threw it away

But I do have some good news......one of johns moms friends just bought a house which has a basement 1 bedroom apartment it will be 800$ a month everything included...(that includes cable)...and we might get it.....its gonna be pretty dark I am sure and I feel sorry for the cats ecspecially Mabby who loves our large screen door the looks out...but maybe we can make it work...we could get kitty hammocks for the windows so they still get there sun...and maybe its not that dark....I havent seen it yet....but hey its something....plus what else is good is that we will only have to pay 800$ which means the rest of the 1500$ loan john took out for this purpose can go towards paying off bills....thats just great!!!! ...........
So please for me that we get this place and in meets our needs...(I mean were dirt poor but i am worried mabby wont get her ...lol)...i really hope this is the sign that things start turning around.....thanx again all who sent me good wishes and vibes ...I will keep you updated on the apartment situation..and on that slacker jim
post #21 of 22
Ooooh Bridget I really hope you get this place. My lil bro lives in a Basement flat, and although it is a little dark in places, the main rooms do get quite a lot of light in there. The only rooms that really do get proper dark are the two bathrooms. Considering wher ehe is, he and his girlfriend have a wonderful place - livingroom (round), study (triangular) kitchen/diner (s shaped) Bedroom (more or less square ish) and the two little bathrooms... it's lovely!! I've got my fingers crossed that you get something just as nice - or better!
post #22 of 22
Lucky to be rid of such a loser!The only way you can win in court is if you have a written agreement about rent, utilities, groceries ect. Without these documents you are unable to prove much in court.

If he is on the lease with you, make sure to move out before him and do a walk through with the manager. Take your half of the deposit. If you paid the whole deposit you may be required to clean up after him to get it back.
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