We've taken on a new cat - Tigger

I'll pass that on to her. Thanks

In a land long ago and a galaxy far far away (dreamland)....

Tigger and Shadow Ram both jumped up on me (sleeping for the nightshift) and decided they should use me for a pillow. Uh.. what do you want?

"Go back to sleep slave. We just need a warm pillow."

oh.. ok. Thanks for telling me AFTER the fact.

"Oh go to sleep slave."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I was sitting at my computer, burning some choral music (did I ever tell you folks I'm in a choir?) for practice. (SATB voice only, piano+ voice notes and combined SATB + piano - I use Finale, a rather complicated music notation program) The empty CD cases are laying upon the desk.

when....

Tigger comes running into the room being chased by Charlie. Oh Hi Tigglet.

"I don't have time to talk right now slave. We're playing tag and Charlie is it."

run run...run

LEAP onto the desk.

"spoo... I didn't look before I leaped."

slip slide away..... Tigger slides on the CD cases...

"Let me demonstrate my agility skills slave. I overcame the handicap you tossed in front of me. HAH"

Charlie leaps onto the desk. [Charlie misses the cases and thus does not slip]

In the meantime, Tigger has made a path between the computer monitor and the window. He makes a right turn between the printer and the monitor and is headed to my right side. Charlie follows quickly.

ZOOOM

and they're gone.

blink... this all happened too quickly for me. I must be day dreaming. Hmmmm my CD cases are askew. How did I do that?

..... drifting off into a daydream.....

I'm standing in the kitchen, minding my own business, when I am approached by my master Tigger.

Meeooorrrwwwwllll (translation: I'm hungry slave. Feed me)

Yes master. I hear and obey. I get the food bowl and show Tigger that it is empty. I than put fresh food in the bowl and place where it is always placed (right in front of him)

Tigger looks at me as if I have two heads and they are both containing brains that are dead set on harming all masters in the house.

"What is this?" Tigger asks?

I have placed fresh food on the floor for you master.

"I am NOT going to eat that swill." and he walks off.

I watch him go to the intersection of hall, kitchen and foyer. and he stops to look at me.
I ask him if he's thirsty.

Zoommm off to the watering station he goes.

I turn on the water and....

"I don't want this water slave. I have changed my mind." and off he goes to the bedroom.

Tigger is sitting on the bed and he wants attention. I start giving him the attention he so richly deserves.

"Ah... that's what I want slave."

I'm finally told that it's enough and that it's time for him to get to work.

[envision working master]

I sit on the bed so as to watch a program and Tigger decides that I'm the perfect pillow. I'll not move and I'm warm. I appreciate this because my legs get cold and he makes the perfect leg warmer. He's too warm for DW in the summer, therefore he normally LEANS on her legs. Such a nice master he is to use me this time.

Charlie Cat comes running into the bedroom and leaps upon the bed. Tigger ignores him. Charlie sniffs Tigger (he is still Tigger and he still smells the same silly master)

"Hey... he might have been a different and strange cat. I STILL have to check! Please remember that next time."

Yes master. I'll try to remember.

Charlie walks over to Annie the ladybug and proceeds to give her a back massage. He than collapses on her from all the hard work he had to do. Working Charlie....

Shadow Ram saunters in and takes his working position at the end of the bed. Working master.

I wish I had the work ethic that my masters have.

One would think that having 5 masters, I should have gotten used to all the follies and foibles of my masters. That is not the case.

I had grilled some hamburgers, corn on the cob and was laying on my tummy eating and watching TV. Tigger comes over and rubs against my face.

rub rub rub rub.....

"I love you slave. Give some of your food. I like hamburger."

rub rub rub....

Tigger, you will not get anything off this place. (maybe a smidgen of hamburger but nothing else)

"Feed me slave."

Yes master. I give him a small piece of hamburger.

"Thank you, but I want more."

You know you'll just wharf up any more, so stop asking.

Tigger stalks off

a short time later Tigger returns asking for more. I'm eating watermelon and Tigger sniffs.

"Yeow... that's not master food. How could you offer this to me."

I didn't offer you any so stop complaining.

Fwap fwap fwap... tail is swinging back and forth

and Tigger drags his tail across my slice of watermelon. Thank you Tigger, that's what I want to eat. Your tail hair is NOT on my diet.

Shadow Ram comes sauntering in and sniffs my plate. Shadow cleans off the plate of all molecules of hamburger and corn.

hmmm You left a few over on this side of the plate Shadow.

Tigger curls up and goes to work. Shadow complains that he has not gotten anything to eat.

"I'm hungry slave. Feed me."

You were fed less than an hour ago. You want more?

"Yes I want more. You fed Tigger so feed me."

Sorry master. I have nothing else. Go ask DW or your primary slave. He's sill eating.

"He won't give me anything."

Sounds like a problem you need to take up with him.

Hrrmmmpppfffffffffff so he goes to the other end of the house

"Where have you been? I've been here waiting for you and I'm STARVING!"

I look over to see his food bowl still partially full of dots. He has ignored the other flavor and wants nothing to do with it so we don't feed him that flavor. Why are you compaining master? You have food.

but he is nowhere to be found. I make a wild guess and find him at the watering station. Tigger is very thirsty and drinks a long time.

"You didn't answer my question!"

I don't smell like another cat so he isn't upset. Just curious methinks.

"Well?"

I've been out seeing a .......... I'm being ignored. and off he goes.

I hear something hitting the floor in the computer room/office. Tigger has checked out the masters observation platform and knocked the cup of pencils/pens off the desk. He may have done this to express his displeasure at my being gone. He has not displayed any unhappiness with his primary slave. I'm in the doghouse.

as I'm picking up the pens and such, Tigger uses me as a stairway to the floor and he walks off. I hear him playing the great straw hunter game in the living room.

Primary slave is now paying attention and I'm off the hook for now.

I'm laying in bed, ready to settle down for a shourt summer nap, when Tigger decides that he must use me as a pillow. I'm on my back and Tigger is walking up and down, walking in a circle, walking up and down

Having a hard time deciding where to work master?

"Oh don't bother me. I've taken way too much time off work."

Yes master. I hear and obey.

[insert 5 minutes of decision making]

Tigger settles down to work. (On my legs since he is also on the bed and the heating pad is on to keep my legs from getting cold and Tiggers like the heating pad since it keeps him warm and Tigger hopes I'll not move much and.....) DW would call this a runon sentence so I'll stop.

We both have our eyes closed.

[enter DW into bedroom]

Tigger jumps up and starts telling primary slave that she must pet him. (oof... he's using me as a trampoline)

DW asks if I'm sleeping, knowing full well that I've been interrupted by a certain marmalade master.

DW goes to her side of the bed and Tigger follows. Tigger walks around DW

Tigger walks to the side and around her on her lap on her side behind her.....

"Why have you not gotten into bed slave. I want to work. That other slave makes too much noise, although he does have the heat on. Hmmm Oh what should I decide ....sigh"

"Slaves are so much bother"

Yes master. I drift off to sleep

I was watching TV when Tigger came over and placed his nose about 1 inch from mine. Tigger kept this position for several minutes.

"You are getting sleepy. Your eyes are getting heavy. You will do everything I demand of you."

at least that's what I thought was going on. Otherwise why whould he keep looking at me this way.

"You will feed me all I ask for."

Sorry Tigger, but you can't have any of this yogurt.

"Drat. This slave can't be properly trained."

"sigh...."

Tigger has been in a snit this week. especially yesterday. DW took Laptop and Sterling to the evil vet and when DW got home, Tigger sniffed the master carriers.

"AARRRGGHHHHH. E V I L V E T.....Alert alert. Prepare to repel the evil vet!"

Thus we had to suffer cranky cat mode.

[fast forward one day]

DW put Charlie and Shadow Ram in their carriers to see the Evil Vet. Tigger reacted as always.

"WHY!! You slaves are trying to hurt me!"

and Tigger wound up in his carrier as well.

"YYYYOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL"

Thus the Kitty Master Choral was in session. Singing all the way to the evil vet.

[insert all the awful evil vet things that happens at the evil vet]

Tigger has gained a pound. Charlie has lost a pound. Sterling is doing fantastic and does not need insulin. Charlie and Shadow allow ultrasonic teeth cleaning of one tooth. No need for sleepy time cleaning.

"I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT THING NEAR MY MOUTH. GET AWAY OR I'll SHOW YOU HOW I CAN SLICE AND DICE YOUR HANDS/ARMS/any bodypart that gets close."

Wrap Tigger in towell. Oh.. he's not happy.

DW gets home and Tigger is in a snit because he can still smell the EVIL VET on the master carriers. All masters except Tigger are isolated downstairs so as to prevent their Alpha cat to inflict great harm upon them for their vist to evil vet. Why don't you get mad at yourself for your visit to evil vet?

"Don't get close to me. You've been a bad slave. Bad slave. Bad bad ...."

And so we leave master Tigger to his snit fit.

Tigger decided to walk in circles today. That in and of itself is not a big deal. We slaves are known to do that on a regular basis. This, however, was different. Tigger was walking around the home office/computer room monitor. Walk around the front...

down the left side

across the back while looking out the window

up the right side

left turn at the front.

stop

and remain in front while blocking my view.

Uh.. Master Tigger. You're blocking my view.

"And this affects me how?"

I would like to continue reading my email.

"And this affects me how?"

You're being that close to the screen will affect how your eyes will develope.

"And this affects me how? I'm 15 years old. I demand the respect of an elder, especially a elder master who is king of this domain."

Yes master.

Tigger than continued his walk about.

Stopping at the front now and again to demand and receive attention.

"Ah.. I enjoy this. You're a proper slave. Not very demanding and attentive to my wants and needs. Oh.. I need water. Come with me slave. Turn on the water."

Yes master.

Tigger drinks for some time.

"Stay here slave. I want attention while I drink."

"HEY. I said to stay here."

When done, Tigger saunters off to get attention from his primary slave.

I was standing in the kitchen when Tigger walks in and sits so as to look at me.

"What are you doing slave?"

I'm drinking coffee and make a turn toward the sink. Tigger takes off like a shot....

making a leaning turn to go down the hall. A marmalade blur...

so I figure Tigger must be thirsty. I get to the master watering station.

"Hey Charlie. Why are you here ahead of me?"

Charlie is licking the bottom of the sink so I jump to a conclusion. Thirsty Charlie?

"Are you a retarded slave? Of course I'm thirsty. Why do you think I'm licking the sink. I just can't get a smart and good slave. sigh"

I turn on the water. Charlie drinks.

"HEY CHARLIE. I'M ALPHA CAT! Let me drink."

"I was here first and I'm thirsty. Puny cat."

"It a good thing I'm in a good mood. I'd throw you on your back and grab your throat and show you that I can rip out your neck." (I think this is just banter among friends)

"Laughing mightily.... Yeah. I believe that like I think this slave is smart."

Feline laughter .....

So I slink out and hang my head in shame.

In the meantime Charlie has finished replenishing his water supply and walks out. (I can tell by the distinctive thud he makes when jumping off the water station)

A short time later, DW makes a comment that I hear.

Charlie, I was going to use that sink and brush my teeth.

"Go away slave. I'm taking a short break from the trials and tribulations of having to deal with such a stupid slave. I'm almost traumatized by the experience and I must center my che (chi?)

Yes master. ( I go look and Charlie has curled up in the sink and is starting to roll his eyes up into his head. Hmm yep it's meditation time)

Tigger finishes his drink and wanders off. He did NOT tell us he was done drinking. I wish our masters would tell us when they're done with the water station.

DW and I were watching tv last night when Tigger jumped up onto the bed and stood on my legs, with his front legs on my chest. He looked long and hard at me, about 3 inches from my face.

Hi Tigger. What's going on.

No answer. He keeps staring. I sritch him some and he purrs.

"Ah.. that's the spot. I like that."

"That's enough." and he turns around. That's what I wanted Tigger. To be this close looking at your south end while you're facing north.

Tigger continues to stand there. DW tells me he wants his up button pushed. Many masters have an up button. You scritch the base of the tail and the front legs/chest drop down and the back legs and tail go up.

"Ah... that what I want. Keep it up."

"That's enough."

and Tigger saunters over to DW and walks down her legs. Tigger stumbles and falls over. We look up to the ceiling or over to the door as to not see what just happened. Tigger looks around to see if we witness what has transpired.

"Oh.. good. You didn't see what I meant to do."

Tigger lays down, stretched between her legs. Head on shin. Tail off to the side of the right hip.

"I must look cute. Don't I look cute?"

Yes you do Tigger.

[insert awhile]

Tigger turns over and assumes Sea Otter position. That's where he's on his back. Front legs curled, back legs kinda sticking up into the air. Eyes are glazed over though. Instead of washing and cleaning food like a sea otter, Tigger is expanding his horizons by contemplating the whichness of the why.

softly.... "look at me. I'm cute"

Yes master. You're cute beyond belief.

I got home from work, after a night shift, and Tigger is waiting in the hall. In the middle of the hall, beside the entrance to the masters watering station. Good morning Tigger.

"I've been waiting for some time. I'm thirsty and my primary slave is sleeping."

Let me put my bag down and take off my jacket.

"No. I want water right now."

and Tigger proceeds to block my way down the hall. I take the hint and turn into the bathroom. Tigger bounds in and is purring loudly when I'm in the process of turning on the water. He is boinking my arm wanting to get to the other side of the sink, where he always drinks.

"HURRY UP!"

Yes master. I lift my arm and Tigger almost jumps to the other side of the sink. He almost falls to the floor. I'm sure he meant to make it appear that he was falling.

Tigger drinks alot of water.

I leave to get ready for bed.

While I'm brushing my teeth, Tigger comes into the bathroom -

"I'm done drinking in there. Go turn off the water."

Yeas master. I go turn off the water and Tigger jumps up.

"I'm thirsty. Go away."

You just told me you were done.

"That was then. This is now."

Yes master. I go to the other bathroom and Tigger zooms past me.

Tigger is waiting in the bathroom.

I finish brushing my teeth and I'm ready for bed.

Tigger tells me he is done drinking and I go turn off the water. I settle in.

Tigger BOUNDS up on the bed and jumps upon me.

"Thud" (have you had a master jump upon you while laying down?) ooofff

Hi Tigger. Glad to see your up and about.

Tigger ignores me and goes to lay upon my primary slave.

Primary slave is giggling. She knows Tigger much longer than I and has undergone his tutoring.

G'night Tigger.

Tigger is slee.... uh working.

I go to sleep.

DW took Sterling and Shadow to the evil vet yesterday, while I was at work. This in and of itself is not a big deal, but Tigger hates evil vet. He can smell the evil vet when either/both of us return from evil vet. I had forgotten this when I got home and I was wondering why Tigger was needing so much attention from me. Everytime I turned around, Tigger was there wanting attention.

DW reminded me of the evil vet visit and everything fell into place. Tigger distanced himself from his primary slave, except the tip of his tail would be touching her. Back turned toward her, but tail touching.

"I'm angry with you. You went to evil vet... but I need to maintain contact. Ignore my tail"

Have you ever seen a master bonking one slave and trying to maintain physical contact with another slave?

I seem to have gotten on the bad side of master Tigger today. I was up early, slept through most of the day, and than got up as I have the night shift tonight. Tigger would complain that he was thirsty.

"Hey slave. I'm thirsty"

I would go turn on the masters watering station. Tigger would take about three sips and depart.

"Hey Slave."

Yes master?

"I'm hungry."

I hear and obey master. I get his food (and I mix a few spikes in his food in hopes that he will eat some of the other food)

"Are you trying to poison me with that slop?"

Tigger walks away and turns the corner to go down the hall.
I hear Tigger -

"Hey Slave. I'm thirsty"

Yes master. I hear and obey.

DW tells me that I must be on his bad side today. and she laughs

Tigger, on the other hand, continues with the water/food drill. I finally give up and take all of the spikes out of his food. He has nothing but dots now.

"Now that's the food I like. Why did you try to feed me that other stuff?"

Caught again... sigh

Arrgghhhhh

I just posted a long post about Tigger being in flakey fiesty mode and it's gone. Sigh... I'll try to recreate soon. Drat

My master Tigger was tearing around the house doing bounce turns off the edge of the bed and generally running a mini marathon. Interesting time. He would stop in the middle of the hallway, right in front of slaves, and run off again. When he got tired it was a transistion into great straw hunter mode. Followed by curling up on the couch. Right beside Charlie.

"I'm cute. I'm sleeping"

but not really. He pounced upon Charlie and grabbed him by the neck. All three slaves yelled at him to stop.

"Hey... I'm just showing him who is boss."

Yeah.. but you're not nice about it Tigger.

and off he'd go. Running around again.

Followed by a lay upon his primary slaves legs. S T R E T C H E D out to the feet.

"I'm cute. Love me. Pet me. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

and he went to work. Charlie curled up on Annie and went to glazed eyes mode.

I've been out most of the day and had to go to a concert (DW sang in it) but something interesting did happen with my master Tigger. DW had purchased a expensive (for a cat scoop it was expensive) that was sitting on the table.

"I am here looking at my domain.....if you can't figure that out slave."

I picked up the scoop and started talking into it like I was a radio announcer.

Here is my master Tigger who has not seen this new scoop. Tell the audience what you think Tigger, and I placed the scoop close to his face.

Y A W N.......................................(long and big yawn)

Son and DW both laughed.

Tigger looked at me as if I was a brain dead.

DW said: I guess he told you what he thinks. I like it because it won't chip or wear down but Tigger just tells us it's what we need to be his slave.

What a cat master.

Not much has happened that I can report though I did have a talk with DW about our master Tigger last night. Tigger was working (upon the legs of DW being a heating blanket and keeping physical contact with his primary slave). I was petting Tigger while talking.

"That's what I want slave. Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

A commericial was on that concerned masters and vets. (vet tech school I think) and I asked about Tigger's conduct while at the evil vet (I've not made a vet visit with anyone for some time as I've been working)

"Puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

Tigger has been quite placid DW told me. No leather gloves have been needed for awhile.

"What do you expect slave. I get all the attention I want now. (and I'm the oldest master in the house + I'm Alpha)

Yes master.

I was sitting at the computer, which has a vantage point of the front yard (Master Tigger uses it to search for intruder cat methinks) checking for trick or treaters and some misc. news. I found this

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Science...t_genome/6842/
or
http://tinyurl.com/3447bc

My master Tigger comes running in and BOUNDS to my lap and uses it for a launch pad to get on the desk.

"What's going on?"

Oh... just news about cat genome sequencing named Cinnamon and.....

Tigger walks off, fwapping his tail.

"I am NOT impressed with any cats outside of this house, except to repel borders and shout about intruders. Hrmmpppfffffff. I'm going to work."

and he walks off. I didn't even know he cared that much about other cat....er masters.