petting my stray/feral

Finally trapped Kitty. He seems happy in his room for now.( 2 weeks) Eats plays and seems happy. He wants me to pet him but when I go to he swings his Paw at me in a harmless way. How do i try to change that pattern. He does it and just sits there and "smiles". I guess how do I overcome my hesitantness to reach out and try. I do pet his tail as he walks by. OR is it just a matter of time??

He probably does not want you to pet him, it is more like you want him to want you to pet him. Typical reaction on your part.

The quickest way to get a feral cat to headbump you and demand a pet is to ignore them. It is hard to do, but if you can just see to his needs and not expect anything from him, just act like he really doesn't exist, it accelerates the process and the cat wants the attention he suddenly is no longer getting- Just ask Noni, or LDG or any of our other members who have rescued ferals. There stories are scattered all over this forum-

I'm not doing so well with the ignoring part, Hissy....LOL! Pengy's far better at ignoring than I am. Unfortunately. I've been one-upped by a cat!

Best-
Michele

Well, he does head butt me and walk along side me, i feel I should at least try to pet him so I can break his pattern. But I do agree with you in a way. I have been working with him since september, two and a half months strictly outside. And about 2 weeks since capture and being inside.I guess its more patience and time

My mom started working with one feral cat (Sweetie) for about 5-6 years before I moved in and was never able to touch her. My mom was nervous about upsetting Sweetie so she really didn't try to much. I started trying to pet her a couple months after I moved in. Prior to that she would eat out of my hands and loved to play with me. I just slowly started to try to touch her. I made sure nothing was going on around me and I ALWAYS had treats. After a few months she started getting really close to me and would brush up against my legs then run. That turned into her stopping and leaning on me. Then finally she let me pet her. Even now she will still swats me but she doesn't use her claws very often.

What really helped with Sweetie was when George (a stray) showed up. I think she figured out that we weren't going to hurt her after watching George get all kinds of attention. I have 2 inside cats that taught her how to meow. She would never make a sound until she heard mine (I have a 2 very talkative and demanding cats).

About 6 months ago another feral (Blackie) showed up and she was VERY VERY easy to get to let me pet her. I just started by playing with her. Then I would set her treats on the ground near me and make her come up to me to get the treats. Then slowly made her take them from me. With in a month after that when I would bring out the treats and sit on the porch steps to start feeding her she would come up to me and crawl on my lap to try to grap the treats if I wasn't giving it to her fast enough. I still couldn't touch her but she would sit on my lap (I know that makes no sense). About a month later she kept coming up to me like she wanted me to pet her when it was time to eat. So after I put her food in the bowl I touched her she backed away but came right back. The next day she did it again and I've been able to pet her ever since. That was only about 2 weeks ago. She has never even tried to swat/scratch me. I have to sit outside 3-4 times a day just to pet her now because she enjoys it so much.

I would like to be able to bring in Sweetie, Blackie and George but my cats will kill them. Both of my are very protective of their things and me (not to mention jealous). If I even mention George one of my cats starts looking around for him so she can go attack.

It sounds like it will be just a matter of time - you've made tremendous progress in just 2 weeks if he is relaxed with you inside your house! I usually try to get them to react to my voice first - I'm always talking to my feral gang. I find that over time, they come running to me when they hear my voice. You can usually tell when they are ready for you to touch them - I make the first attempt when their heads are buried in the food bowls. If they come out swinging or run away, you've pushed too hard too fast. If they relax and keep eating, I judge it as a good sign and never push beyond that until they pull their head out of the bowl and start rubbing back on me.

It took me a while to pet "big head" he didn't like anyone touching him. He only came to my house to eat and as soon as he was done he was gone. Once he trust me he started to come inside the house and all by himself he came up to me and pet me. By the way I ignore him, I only gave him his food and open the door for him to leave. Now everytime he comes he would brush up against my legs and purr and begs me to pet him.

Patches is a stray cat that I took in, I gave her food since her owners didn't care about her. She would only come to eat and leave as soon as she was done. We did this for about a year and the whole time I ignore her. Her owners then moved away leaving her behind and a couple of months later she saw that I was a nice person and decided to move in with her two daughters. (she brought them to my house) Now, she's a sweet cat who loves to be pet and loves to play with her son Pitufo. The only problem I have is that she doesn't like to be held.

Thats interesting and informative, this cat does not meow. He use to very lightly when outside. But now nothing. Why is that?

Most of the ferals I've seen dont meow, or do so only occasionally. I'm pretty sure meowing is learned from interaction with people. After they get used to people making noise they tend to start talking back. A quiet cat isn't necessarily a bad thing. Once they figure out meowing gets food/attention/etc they can get quite vocal.

Kitty whom i trapped at the end of Nov is doing so well. He's licking my fingers and loves playing and being with me. He's head bumping me like crazy and lets me almost pet him. Its really amazing. Underneath all the feral/stray behavior there is a dark grey persian with a wonderful warm personality and he purrs. I never thought I'd see the day.

Yay I'm so happy for you....Congrats!

have had Kitty for 2 months now indoors after rescuing him from outside. This week he has let me pet him fully and purrs like crazy. Its so gratifying considering I doubt he was ever petted in his 14-16mos of age. He's a Persian and has that docile temperment and loves to play. I feel bad that he's still in a big bedroom only, but feel it best as he still needs time. There are four other cats in the house and feel he's not ready yet. He doesn't try to get out but stares at door when i come in(as if he's waiting for me)) as I feel he loves the companionship.I thought I'd never see the day of petting him etc. Its true it all takes time and patience. For only 2 months i feel i have made great progress but i also fed him twice a day for 2-1/2 months at a house which was 20 minutes away so I could try taming him more as the people who lived there left for Florida for the winter and I could not see just leaving him there alone outside(though they did not care). He always greeted me when i came to feed him outside. I love this cat so much. Have had cats my whole life of 51 years old and never had such a special connection.

i'm so happy for you! i love reading about these happy endings, it gives me a bit of faith in the world