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Ani's in the hospital - Page 6

post #151 of 197
Lauren, I hope you have someone you can talk to about this. If not, do you have an employee assistance program where they can get a counselor for you for short term counseling? When you lose a person there is lots of automatic support, but sometimes when you lose a pet people don't give you the grieving time and assistance that you need. I hope you aren't offended by this, I know I would need help if and when I lose one of my babies. And you have lost two within a very short time. Maybe your pastor? Becky
post #152 of 197
Lauren, what is there to say? When I just saw this thread in RB I was stunned...
Please never blame yourself! Ani is with her dear brother Trent now please believe that... they will both wait for you and the new Baby Skylar.
Try to stay strong for him now, let him comfort you when you need it most, he will know when that time is.
I won't say I can imagine your pain, but I do know the pain I am feeling for you right now... I understand the love you had for Ani as well as Trent and they both had to leave you too soon... this has to be too hard..
I know in time, you will be able to see the memories without pain, the happy times, and all these babies helped you through, until then I am here to help you through, never hesitate to ask me for anything you may need.
You are loved here Lauren, I am so sorry that you have to do this again
post #153 of 197
How did I miss this thread?? Oh, Lauren, I'm so sorry to hear the ordeal you've been through, and then Ani's unexpected passing. You did your best for her, dear, and she knows your love. RIP sweet Ani
post #154 of 197
Dear sweet Lauren...

Please, please do not blame yourself for this. And never ever doubt that both Trent and Ani knew the depths of your love for them and gave you back all of their love in return. I have been able to almost physically feel your love for them since your first post here. If I can feel that a thousand miles away, how strong must it have felt for them?? You did everything possible to give them the best lives possible, and you did. You did give them the best they could have ever had. And you will do the same for little Skylar, who will help you get through this horrible time.
post #155 of 197
What can I say that hasn't already been said numerous times? My heart hurts so badly for you right now, I am crying along with you. I know you have tons of questions, and that's okay. But please don't ever doubt your quality of care that you provided your babies. You are an outstanding momma to them! And they know the depth of your love. I know it hurts worse than ever could have been imagined, but you will get through this. And don't lose sight of the fact that we're still all here for you, praying for strength and healing of your heart and mind. You did all you could for her, Lauren, and you must realize that. I wondered the same thing about Tank- did I do all I could? did I wait too long? what if they misdiagnosed him? But all of that is a waste of energy. Yes, you did all you could. No, you didn't wait too long. You did everything you could, Lauren, as quickly as you could. Ani wouldn't have asked for anything more from you.

We love you, honey, and are here for you during this most trying time. You and your babies are in a special spot in my heart.
post #156 of 197
Thread Starter 
Good Morning Everyone ,

I am still waiting for my coffee but I had to come on here for my comfort. You all are wonderul, thank you so much.

Bossinova I started reading your thread last night. I wasn't part of this site when that was all happening As I was reading, I felt so close to what you were experiencing. I did not get to finish your thread yet, but I am going back there to read it. I am so sorry for what you had gone through You did so much for your baby R.I.P with the Angels, Little Tank

Becky , I really appreciate all your concern. I am not offended at all by what you suggested. It's exactly what I need. Actually, I have someone who I talk to about all this. He is someone who has helped me through many hard times in my life. I know I can't do this alone, and I know when to ask for help. There is also a pet loss therapist who I am looking into. Thank you so much, hun..

Thank you all so much for everything you have said. Your words are perfect and I need to hear them. I was able to catch myself yesterday, remembering something quite funny that happened with Trent when he was a baby I actually laughed out loud along with his precious memory I will never forget Ani and her pumpkins. That's something else that I can smile about now. I know that as time goes on, I will be able to smile and laugh more and more. The memories that I hold of my babies are filled with joy There were so many wonderful times. They truly were my best friends..and always will be
post #157 of 197
Lauren, we have shared so many conversations, tears and memories in the past few days, and yet I am still left speachless at the incomprehensible losses you have suffered. You know that my love is with you during this agonizing time. Sierra and I are so proud of you for the strength you are showing in forcing yourself to go on so as to continue to give Skylar so much love and the most perfect of care. You are an inspiration to us all, my friend!
Much love to Lauren and Skylar
post #158 of 197
Thread Starter 

You have been wonderful through all this and I couldn't thank you enough. I am blessed to have you and Sierra a part of my life

I had a rough time last night. A "friend" of mine called who is not exactly the most compassionate person in the world. She doesn't know what happened. I did not want to tell her anything. She only knows how sick Ani was & never bothered to call and check up over the past week.
I guess my emotions took a turn when she called. I didn't explode on her, but when I hung up with her, I just started screaming and crying. I know that it is all about everything that has been going on inside me. As awful as the feeling was, I know that I need to get this all out one way or another. In a way, it was a good thing for me. I know who I have in my life. I know who I cherish and who cherishes me.

I also know, although it's so difficult to stay in the moment, each moment that we have counts so much. With all that goes on in our lives, sometimes we may forget to stop and breathe once in a while. For all those who have lost a loved one or have come so close to, we know how important it is to cherish every moment that we have with those special beings in our lives. Each moment counts more than we could ever really know. I run around all the time worrying about one thing or another. Sometimes an entire day could pass where I forget to stop and appreciate all that I have. It's all just too important. I know that I cannot let any moment pass without feeling blessed to have such love in my life. This is to all of you, to my family, my friends, and my babies. I have so much. I am so grateful..
post #159 of 197
That was beautifully said and a lesson for us all
post #160 of 197

I didn't post here in the thread but I followed it as much as I could. You were getting great advice and so much support, there was little I could do but pray.

I know you are beating yourself up right now, but please don't. When it comes to backyard cats breeding, genetics sometimes just rears its head and takes it victims. It could also be that losing Trent was to much for Ani to deal with and she caved into the illness. There are so many questions and unless you had a necropsy performed, you won't have definitive answers. Sometimes, even after the necropsy you still don't have answers.

Just go with the grief and let it take you on the journey. The path is hard, and there are many footsteps in front of you of weary travelers that have gone this way. You will learn on the journey and you will come out whole on the other side. True, a piece of you will feel broken, but now you have two special angels to help guide you with your life.

Take the time to sit with Skylar and let Skylar know what happened. Be honest and cry, but let Skylar know where Ani has gone. It will help Skylar, and it will help you-

I am so sorry for your loss and was sickened to see this thread had moved. I was really hoping for the best outcome, I knew your heart would not survive the shock of losing another so soon-
post #161 of 197
You are so strong to be thinking so positively! It's so difficult when people don't understand the special bonds that can be formed with your animals. It's just a cat, right? No, actually, "it" is a very dear friend, the best of all listeners and comforters. Which I'm sure Sky is fabulous at. He knows your heart is hurting so very badly now.

I second what Stephanie said. I cannot imagine how difficult these last few months have been. Your strength truly amazing.

Hang in there. You will get through this, and we will always be here to give the support and love that you need.
post #162 of 197
Thread Starter 
Hissy What you just wrote hit me so gently & PERFECTLY . Everything you said helped me take a step away and look at the situation a bit differently. I am not sure what exactly it was, but your words were just what I needed to hear. Thank you, Sweetheart..

I got out of the house today and bought Skylar his presents. I will admit, I just couldn't wait till tomorrow night I have tears in my eyes over how happy he is right now . It's his first Christmas/Hanukkah, and I think I made it really wonderful for him.. (Wow.. did I say that? ) Watching him gives me joy, and in all honesty, I believe he is helping me heal, one day at a time I know it will take a while for me to get back to my self again, but just to smile and laugh is a gift I cherish with all my heart.

I wish you All a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. You deserve nothing less than a lifetime of miracles.. You have helped me more than you can possibly imagine. Each and every one of you is a gift from the Goddess.. I love you with all my heart.. Please know that you have made a difference in someone's life, just by being You.. Thank you so much..

All my love.. Lauren
post #163 of 197
Lauren, I'm so sorry! This is one forum I usually avoid, but I couldn't help but notice that Ani's name showed up here. What can I say, except that you have my sympathy? You're in my thoughts.
post #164 of 197
Today's been an uplifting day. I am glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. I'm still there...
post #165 of 197
Thread Starter 
Oh, thank you Jcat and MyRage

We're doing alright today. I am still not sure if all of this has hit me yet, but I do know that I laughed a lot today I feel a little better each day. I have my really down moments, but that's to be expected. I think I just need to get back to work and back into my regular routine. It's hard to be home sometimes. Skylar has been helping me smile. I just adore this baby and I am not sure how I would be without him. It's a blessing to have him
post #166 of 197
Stupid me just noticed where the thread had been moved.
post #167 of 197
I am glad you have your Skylar. Very glad. I understand the easier every day, but the bad moments that pop in from time to time. I am still devistated over Ani It might ttake a little while before it all hits you. I am still kind of waiting for my mom's passing to really hit me... I don't think it will ever really 'hit' me. I think I just got used to her being gone. Maybe you will be that way with your girl, maybe it will hit you.

I am just very happy that you are showing some changes since the other day. Hang in there, you've got a bunch of cat lovers here that will all always be happy to listen and be there.

post #168 of 197
Hi Lauren I just had to drop in and let you know i'll be thinking of you and little Skylar over the Christnas period hugs*
post #169 of 197
Oh Lauren, i'm pleased your feeling a little better, but if you feel that you want to cry at any point you just let it out because your only human.

Thank God Skylar is there because i'm a great believer in fate and Skylar caught your eye for a reason
post #170 of 197
How are you today? I wanted to wish you a merry christmas... not exactly the most appropriate place, but I really wanted to tell ya
post #171 of 197
Thread Starter 
Dear Ani ,

Mommy misses you more than you can ever know. You are, and always will be, my beautiful Princess. I try to not be sad, as I remember the wonderful moments that you and I spent together over the past 7 years. There was never a second that passed by, that I did not feel so blessed to have you in my life. I miss you with all my heart and soul..
I Love You so much, Baby..

Love Mommy
post #172 of 197
Thread Starter 
My Heavenly Angel..

I Light A Candle For You, My Baby
post #173 of 197
Lauren, I just noticed this thread was moved here....I am so sorry for your loss. I have no words to express what I am feeling right now. Sending many to you at this sad time.
RIP sweet Ani
post #174 of 197
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone.. I haven't really had the best time today. I have definitely been hit hard with grieving and I just haven't stopped crying. On top of that, Sky was brought to the vet today because there was no poo in his litter box for 36 hours & I noticed he wasn't eating much. The vet changed his food and now he went poo twice already today, and ate That makes me happy, but after all that's happened, it's just so hard to think positive right now. I'm just feeling pretty down and just can't seem to allow myself to relax. Constant worrying on top of crying for the loss of my babies. Sometimes, it just gets so overwhelming. Thank you all for your support. I'll get through this.
post #175 of 197
Oh, Lauren! I hate that you are going through all of this!

Grief is like that -- you'll have a couple of good days and then you'll have another two where you can't stop crying. That's what it was like for me after my dad.

It's possible that Skylar is responding to your grief, which is why he may be off-color. I'm glad that the vet gave you a new food which is helping him stay regular, though.

You need to take a bubble bath, drink some herbal tea, or do something soothing and relaxing for yourself.

In any case, please know that we're here for you.
post #176 of 197
I agree with everything Snow Leopard says, how sensitive Colleen is with her insight there. Lauren, please please oh hunny~~ I had an awful time with Freddie's death. And we have a country vet at the house; easier than you had it by far. Darling, it will take a long, long time. And that is OK. IT IS OK. However long it takes. You had so much love in you that all that love takes a while to get to heaven itself!
Elizabeth & Sasha
(RIP Freddie 11/09/03, and SiSi, never forgotten)
post #177 of 197
post #178 of 197
My heart goes out to you. I just read this thread, and after reading after reading the thread about Trent a few months ago, I just wish I could be where you are to hug you. I don't often come to The Bridge forum, because it's so hard for me to read about these sweet furbabies going to The Bridge.

I'm thinking maybe Hissy is right, that perhaps Ani wanted to join her brother, and that she held on until you were close enough to little Skylar, at which point she felt she could go. Still this has been more than you should have to handle. It just doesn't seem fair. I hope that with the oncoming New Year that you will not have to deal with this pain again.

I think you have been a wonderful mother to your furbabies. Please don't feel any guilt. You did all that you could do.
post #179 of 197
Dear Lauren

Just wanted to say I feel for you and I hope you feel better soon. You have two little guardian angels looking out for you now. May the new year of 2005 bring comfort to you and all who grieve.
post #180 of 197
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by HopeHacker
I'm thinking maybe Hissy is right, that perhaps Ani wanted to join her brother, and that she held on until you were close enough to little Skylar, at which point she felt she could go. I think you have been a wonderful mother to your furbabies. Please don't feel any guilt. You did all that you could do.
Thank you for saying all this. When I hear that perhaps it was just Ani's time, it does, in a certain way, give me comfort To believe that my baby held on for me touches my heart in a way that I have never felt before.
As far as "guilt".. I guess that's something I REALLY need help with in all aspects of my life

If there is some way to just allow myself to believe that "Ani wanted to be with her brother", I can feel peace in that..

Thank you so much
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