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Just feeling low

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Hey guys, just feeling a little blue today--past couple of days actually--and was hoping I could vent a little here. No major catastrophes or anything, just life stress I guess. Part of it is Christmas coming up and the fact that my bf and I won't be spending it together this year (some of you may remember my thread before the crash about sorting out the holidays). Well, due to a miscommunication, both of our families believed we were spending Christmas with them and the only way to solve it (just for this year mind you) was for him to go to his family and me to go to mine on Christmas. Bummer. So we will be doing something special together, just him and I, on Christmas Eve, but it's not the same.

Then I guess I'm just feeling a lot of stress about various things. I've been unemployed since May, voluntarily--I was practicing law and I really could not handle the pressure and adversarial environment anymore, so I quit. It was okay for a little while. I've been spending some time writing fiction and even have been attempting to sell some of my short stories (so far no luck), but I know I have to go out and find a paying job. The thing is I don't know what. I don't even really know what I'm good at, and that bothers me. It's not like I'm a kid just out of school--I'm thirty years old! And I don't want to go back and practice law. I've sent out a couple of resumes for different things with no luck, and I'm just feeling like I have no purpose in life anymore.

On top of this stuff, my bf and I are planning our wedding, which should make me feel happy. Don't get me wrong, I adore him and I am thrilled that we are marrying, but the family issues coming along with the wedding-planning are getting me down, and the wedding's not until October of next year, so there's still lots of time to have to be dealing with it. I'm also trying to sell my co-op apartment, where I used to live before I moved in with my bf--it's been on the market since July and still no takers--meanwhile I'm depleting my savings paying the stupid mortgage and maintenance every month.

Just feeling blue and lonely I guess, without anyone to talk to. My bf is great, but he's pretty much the only one I have to talk to and I feel bad whining all the time. Most of my friends have moved out of state, plus a lot of them just had babies, and no one seems to have any time for me anymore.

Anyway, thanks for letting me have my little pity party here. Sorry to be such a downer.
post #2 of 21
Awwww, Stefanie ! {{HUGS}} to you, 'cause I think you could use some. Spending the holidays apart has got to be a real downer, but on the bright side, its just for one Christmas! I wish you had MSN or Yahoo messanger, 'cause I'd love to sit and chat with you, but if you want to PM me and talk a bit, feel free to.....my shoulders are broad and my hearing is good!
post #3 of 21
Stefanie, what you need right now is a big hug! I'm sorry to hear that you're so down right now, and wish you lots of luck and happiness for the new year!
post #4 of 21
Oh Stefanie, My best wishes to you.... please don´t give up!
post #5 of 21
aw, some of my friends arent even 20 and they just had babies... well they rent friends anymore i guess as i havent had contact in a while.
I havent got anyone to whine all day to either except for my bf and im not even 30!
This is why we have TCS to have a good talk to people who can understand us and be in a same boat as us. !
Whine all you want... its really good!!
post #6 of 21
Stephanie, even though you might feel alone, you never are. Remember that. We're all family here, and you can always find one of us here, if not lots of us that are ready and willing to listen and help anyway we can. Things will get better, I promise!!
post #7 of 21
Stefanie--hang in there! Everything will fall into place sooner or later. About the job, do you think it'll help just finding something temporary to help make ends meet so you won't feel so stressed out about paying the mortgage for your apartment...?

About Christmas, I am really sorry to hear that miscommunication messed up everything, sometimes that will happen. For a least an hour--turn off the tv, phones, etc. Take a nice hot bath with a hot glass of green tea. Think about what you are thankful for, oh and don't forget to bring a kitty in the bathroom with you so you can hear him purr My prayers are with you--I know that a wedding can be overwhelming!
post #8 of 21
Aww Stefanie I'm sorry you feel blue. Being apart at Christmas really stinks doesn't it!

I'm an ex-practising lawyer too. I got out and wild horses couldn't drag me back - even when they offered me more than twice my current salary - I still turned it down. I know what you mean. If you ever want to offload PM me, please do and don't worry about it. I've got a job now that I wouldn't leave for the world - it can happen. But until it does big hugs to you.

Things will get better. PM me if you want to talk.
post #9 of 21
Stephanie:

It sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate right now. Is there anyway you can just take a few moments to yourself and try to relax and forget about everything. My favorite way is a nice hot bubble bath, it may not solve anything but at least you'll get a chance to relax. That and snuggle with your kitties and hug your boyfriend tight.
post #10 of 21
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I do feel better just knowing I can come here and talk to you all.

And to those of you who suggested a bubble bath--what I wouldn't GIVE for a functional bathtub right now. That's right. No usable bathtub (it's a long story). Just a stall shower. So for me it's a long, hot, relaxing...shower.

Ah well, at least I'm laughing now. Thanks guys.
post #11 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacat
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I do feel better just knowing I can come here and talk to you all.

And to those of you who suggested a bubble bath--what I wouldn't GIVE for a functional bathtub right now. That's right. No usable bathtub (it's a long story). Just a stall shower. So for me it's a long, hot, relaxing...shower.

Ah well, at least I'm laughing now. Thanks guys.
I understand...I don't have a bathtub either. We just have a shower. so, when we visit my in-laws....I take a long hot bubble bath!
post #12 of 21
Awww Stefanie You know were always here whenever you want to sound off!.
post #13 of 21
Sorry to hear you are feeling down. It must be awful to go through al that hard work and school, only to find out it is not what you want to do. Good luck on your writing. Maybe you could post a story in Paws and Reflect, I am sure I am not alone in being very interested in reading one. Then when you become a famous author, we can all say we got a preview of your early work!
Try to not let the season and being separated from your sweetie on Christmas get you down. You will be starting a new phase of your life with him soon, and it will be just wonderful! October will be here sooner than you think. If things get too bad with the wedding plans, you could always elope.
post #14 of 21
Stepfanie.... I am also here if you need someone to talk to or just to vent. I have good ears for gnawing.
post #15 of 21
Stefanie,

Generally speaking, what creates stress in a person's life is major change. When two or more major changes are happening, you're talking mega stress. Here's what you are dealing with:

1) moving
2) unemployment/ financial worries
3) major change in career
4) upcoming marriage

That's a lot of stress, so go easy on yourself. You were smart to get out of a career that made you unhappy. It takes awhile to find a new one. You may have to just get a job that pays the bills. Ideally, it will be one that also gives you health insurance and gives you enough time to write, explore other career options.

Also, are you in a writing group or making contacts in the writing world? That's important in terms of providing some momentum for your writing as well as ideas/ contacts for publishing.
post #16 of 21
Thread Starter 
You are all so kind and wise.

SnowLeop, I know you are right--lots of major stressful events happening at once. Some mornings I want to crawl back under the covers and hide. And yes, ideally I could find a job that would allow me time to write but also provide me with adequate benefits. Right now I'm on COBRA from my insurance at my old job, but that is super expensive. After we're married, I can go on my bf's insurance, but that's not until October. I don't belong to a writer's group, but I have been taking workshop classes at one of the local universities. I do make some contacts that way.

I am feeling kind of better today. It helped to get things out in the open here.
post #17 of 21
Aw Stef you're not being a downer! I can understand how you feel. I know about the wedding thing - it's really stressful, trying to work out who gets on with who and how to sit people where they can't fight etc etc etc. I won't be spending Christmas with my other half either. LIfe does seem to get on top of a lot of people around about now for some reason... I guess it's because it's stressful and expensive yadda yadda yadda. Put down the wedding planning for the night, get your long hot relaxing shower. I find putting on loud music and singing my heart out helps... and I don't care what the neighbours think!! As long as I'm not disturbing people's sleep, I'll do it. Put your feet up and snuggle in with a good movie and some chocolate or something. That always makes me feel better. It has been scientifically proven that women need chocolate. Make the most of that fact!!! Chin up girlie, you've always got us!!
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Mmm, chocolate! Emma, you may be the wisest of all!
post #19 of 21
I would just loooove to shake the hand of the man who worked out that we need chocolate. He was a genius.
post #20 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat
I would just loooove to shake the hand of the man who worked out that we need chocolate. He was a genius.

Oh yes. Definitely my hero. Now the guy who invented panty hose, that's a whole other story...
post #21 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacat
Oh yes. Definitely my hero. Now the guy who invented panty hose, that's a whole other story...


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