i need some advice.

I hate adding to your worries, but if your parents divorce, your mother will probably lose her residence permit and have to return to Australia, or whatever country she's a citizen of. Are your parents aware of that?

Originally Posted by jcat

I hate adding to your worries, but if your parents divorce, your mother will probably lose her residence permit and have to return to Australia, or whatever country she's a citizen of. Are your parents aware of that?

Click to expand...

no she can stay in germany coz of the EU.
We arent australian.
My mums british, and she has an italian citizenship also. But its hard ebcause she only got it in 2001 so the lawyer is still looking at the laws.
My dad was able to throw away my british citizenship when i was 6 months old. If i think about it now he did some risky things against my mother.

But Now he keeps on telling me i am not allowed to leave, and he doesnt understand that i can. And i dont want to leave and take all of my things with in an hour or an afternoon and leaving with out saying anything to him.
I did that last time and i felt rotten

Ah and i forgot to add, They have to be seperated for 3 years before having a divorce. Thats the italian law :S

Originally Posted by fwan

Ah and i forgot to add, They have to be seperated for 3 years before having a divorce. Thats the italian law :S

Click to expand...

I believe the country of residence's laws count, if they're getting divorced before a German court, and that a 12-month separation suffices. At 18, you have attained full majority, and he can't legally force you to stay. I understand that you don't want to "disappear through the backdoor", but if it's necessary to do so, just go, and work things out with him later.

I have to say Fwan, I agree with Tricia on this one. See, the chances are that if you try to talk to your dad about leaving now, he'll do everything in his power to make it impossible for you to leave at all. If you let slip that you're going, he'll try to get you to stay. You need to get out - and I know why you don't want to go without saying anything - but it'll get tougher if you do say something. If you let him know you're leaving, he's likely to get angry with you because he doesn't seem to understand that you are 18. You're not his little baby girl any more. You're a young woman who needs to stretch her wings and fly. Don't give him the ammunition to get abusive with you. he's already stomping around the place over the separation and your mum is no better - the way they are treating you just now is abusive because it's forcing you to be a mediator in a situation that isn't yours to deal with. It's adding to your own emotional burden. Get out, and tell him after you've gone. It's easier to explain why after you've gone too... because you can look back with an objective point of view. Please sweetie, don't hang about in getting out of there. The sooner you're out, the better you will feel, believe me. Yes, you will feel guilty for a little while, but that is something that's more eaily overcome than broken dreams and resentment.

i have no idea but because he works at the consulate i dont have residency in germany my appartment means "im in italy" and so does our cars. (honestly nothing makes sense at the consulate) but yet i have residency in germany but not allowed to work!!!!!!
But i cant leave yet i have to go there and sort out the documents and fo rme to get money since im not at home and not working.
I have to arrange that the money goes straight into my bank account.
Because i know that he wont put the money into my account manually.

My friend wants me to go to her place for a week, to get my head clear.
My boyfriend doesnt like her anymore because she says things that arent her business and has no idea of. And she is trying to get me to stay in frankfurt at her place because she has no other friends here.
I can understand, i was sad whn my friends left. But if she has planned other things i wouldnt bad mouth her boyfriend because he doesnt like her?
She says he bosses me around because he asks me to put baguettes in the oven at 3 am if i am awake. But there is another reason why he sends me to do it, its because he cant stand it if my dad wakes up and sees him in the kitchen. Today she tried to make a guilttrip on me! "i just cant understand why you dont want to come to my house"
From April - september i went there very weekend and that costed me 10 euros of petrol each weekend.
and in total she has been to my house not even 5 times!
She never fills her fridge up. I know she has a hard time getting along, but why spend money on ciggarettes and collapse because youre not eating and not filling up the fridge? She wants me to stay the night and there is nothing there we can do except watch tv. THEN SHE SAYS THAT MY HOUSE IS BORING! when i live in the middle of the city, have internet, satelite, and a a fridge with edible food!
Im sorry to be mean but she really got on my nerves today!
PLus i will not stay at someones house if they dont have anything to eat! i will be happy to bring something but she always say. Ew thats disgusting, like pizza and anything with cheese. But she will eat sausages with nutella!!
She just doesnt understand how i feel at the moment, and its just nerving me when she just says things andmakes things worse!!!!!!!!!
and when i say something she will always make it sound like she has worse problems and interupts me :| i mean i can listen but if someone doesnt respect what i have to say in person then i get angry.
it cant always be one way.. because then you would be better off talking to a brick wall.
I already screamed at my dad today to leave me alone, atleast my mum has learned to leave me out of it. then i just wanted to call her and scream at her too (the "friend")

Originally Posted by fwan

Thanx pat&alix, My lwyer told me i have to move out from these psychos.
i was planning to move out some time next year but now its becoming just before xmas

Click to expand...

Follow your plans through and don't think of excuses. Since your lawyer gave you the advice, he may know of safe, lowcost apartments where you can move to (along with your kitty). I don't advice your friend. She sounds like a very selfish and irresponsible person.
But I sincerely hope you find a solution asap. Here's a ton of "good luck" vibes! And BTW, although I am not a religious person, I do pray for help and the Higher Power has answered me more often than I deserve!

Originally Posted by yayi

Follow your plans through and don't think of excuses. Since your lawyer gave you the advice, he may know of safe, lowcost apartments where you can move to (along with your kitty). I don't advice your friend. She sounds like a very selfish and irresponsible person.
But I sincerely hope you find a solution asap. Here's a ton of "good luck" vibes! And BTW, although I am not a religious person, I do pray for help and the Higher Power has answered me more often than I deserve!

Click to expand...

The thing is, she is a nurse at the veterenary. Not the one i go to. But for somereason she was begging me to bring mine to her Veterenary where its 30-40 mins away from here.
Thanx yayi

I also wouldn't advise staying at your friend's place - she's much too "clinging", and expects you to give more than she herself is willing to. Foreign embassies and consulates are considered "sovereign territory", but if you are a citizen of an EU country, you don't require a work permit in Germany. You do, however, require a residence permit. If I were you, I'd have somebody who can speak fluent German call your local "Ausländeramt" and ask for advice about you getting your own residence permit, now that you're 18. The number will be in the phone book, probably under "Stadtverwaltung". Keep it anonymous at the moment. If you go and temporarily stay with your boyfriend's family for a few weeks, perhaps you'll be able to get a handle on the situation. Is there anybody at the Consulate you can turn to for advice?

They wag their toungues too much.
I have to go tomorrow anyway and get a paper for school. so i will ask what im supposed to do.
thanx for the advice tricia.
I will have my boyfriend look into it since he is german and speaks german.

Okay i just told my boyfriend about it and he said to me not to worry because He doesnt want me to go out of the consulate untill i will finish my studies and because i cant work in germany anyway untill i get out of it.
Just because im moving house it doesnt mean i will be out of the consulate.
He told me not to go out of the consulate untill i get a proper job, a real good one or untill i get married.
The consulate still pays me untill im married or working.

Now i just need to get them to give them my part into my bank account
I hope it works