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Ok a new problem of many

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Ok now roxy hisses at me every time I go to pick her up.She must know she is going into the bathroom.One think I forgot to menton about alex(my cat) she does not like my girlfriend (or anyone else for that fact) and now it is getting worse.If alex hears her speak she will hiss.On the other hand alex is hissing less at me and will sleep with me now.But only when mt girlfriend leaves for work.Now the cats are hissing at each other under the door.Roxy is getting meaner.Is this normal.I am so confused.Now alex sits by the bathroom door and guards it instead of sleeping.she also is not eating as much.Is this normal?.Are their any other steps that I can do to make this transition eaiser if possible.roxy is fine if I let her roam the house but as soon as I try to put her in the bathroom she hises and trys to scratch me.Where alex has calmed down and lets me pick her up and move her.Someone please talk me down from this thanks in advance Please reply to this thread the answers are so helpful I cannot even explain.I dont know what I would have done without this great site. still in kitty hell
post #2 of 14
I really hate to discourage you, but some cats do not like each other. Period. That's not to say this will be the case for you, and that you can't make the transition easier -- if I remember correctly this is less than a week now right? You really do have to give it some time and follow all the steps outlined in the post about it here.

Have you purchased Feliway spray and room plug-in thingy? They are expensive, but might be worth a shot.

My mother and I lived together many years ago in large house. We TRIED to get her cat and Comere to be friendly, and for Comere (the mushpot he is) he really could've cared less. But Daisy (mom's cat) NEVER liked him. Anytime they would cross paths she would stay as far away from him as possible and hiss like crazy. Comere would just look at her like "uh... ok" and just lay there. Daisy even started peeing in MY closet on my shoes just because she was pissed off about the whole situation. We lived together over a year, and it NEVER improved. We ended up keeping them separated most of the time, and even then, through the bedroom door, Daisy would hiss and scratch anytime she sensed Comere in the hallway.
post #3 of 14
Yikes! Definitely an unfortunate situation for you. I do hope it improves with time. I plan on getting my 2nd kitten in the next couple weeks. Being that my kitten now, Dakota, was cage mates with the other one, hopefully the transition is smooth.

Good luck with your situation.
post #4 of 14
Thread Starter 
Sat is one week yes.I think they will never like each other.I hope not but it looks that way now.I have a 2 bedroom condo.Its big but not that big.I keep asking this and no one will answer it.But should I worry about alex killing roxy or them both fighting so they hurt each other.I hope that it is that it is just less than a week and they will get long.But I am worried and stressed about it.No I did nnot get the feline plug in is it really worth it.I will do just about anything at this piont.
post #5 of 14
I would definetly get the plug in. While it may not solve the problem it might at least help the kitties to relax a little. I use the feliway spray, and I've noticed that my kitty mellows after I've used it. Besides, if you are as desperate as you sound you might at least try it. Also, Have you tried Hissy's trick with the vanilla on chins and tails? It sounds like something that would help.

Are you moving them around a lot too? It might make things simpler for now if you gave the new kitty one room and let your kitty roam for a while. Just to relax the situation. Give them some time to get used to each others presence nearby before you start moving them around a lot. I would give them each a space and leave them in it for a week before I did any switching or moving. (Maybe wait until they have stopped "Gaurding" and that might be a sign they are more relaxed) And hopefully by then they will be relaxed enough not to remove your eyeball when you attempt to pick them up.

I think its important that you realize that you are just going to have to relax and let things take their course. As long as they aren't hurting themselves they just have to learn to deal and your interference or fussing might only make things harder for them. And most importantly if you are tense about the situation it will only make it worse for everyone involved.
post #6 of 14
You may need to give it some time. When I brought Tripod home, Oliver did not like him. I think it took a couple of months for him to tolerate him. It took even longer for Oliver to stop being mad at me. Now, about 2 1/2 years later, they are best buddies and I am forgiven. I hope it works out for you.
As far as your girlfriend goes, try to pay extra attention to Alex when she's around.
post #7 of 14
Thread Starter 
post #8 of 14
Thread Starter 
The saga between alex and roxy continues.I am still keeping them apart.It is now week three.They hiss and growl at each other through the door every day now.My girlfriend is very upset now.I hope you guys can help me again.She(my girlfriend) feels that her cat has changed roxy her cat is not the same to her as she used to be.She hisses at her now and doesnot come over to her as much as she did before.I think she is just getting use to her new enviorment.Alex my cat is treating me the same way.IS THIS CORRECT AM I RIGHT OR HAVE OUR CATS NOW BEEN FOREVER CHANGED BY US MOVEING IN TOGETHER.Please anyone who can help explain what is happening please do so that I can show my girlfriend the thread so she will not be so upset.I want the truth tho no matter what it is.Thanks in advance.I have been busy latley.But I will keep posting on their progress so it can hopefully help others in the same sitiuation.
post #9 of 14
If your cats are hissing that is entirely normal. I would go ahead and leave the door to their room cracked open and not make a big deal about it. You will likely have posturing, hissing and even swatting as the cats try and figure out the order now. Have a dark blanket nearby you can throw over them if they tangle, but my guess is they won't bother each other to much. And don't get stressed over it, they will pick that up so quickly. Just treat it as no big deal
post #10 of 14
For what it's worth, I just added a new cat to my household 4 weeks ago. The first week they were separated. Second week, I left the door ajar and when Barney came out Jane was in full attack mode. Third week Jane moved to Snarl and Spit mode and we have now progressed to the Stare and Glare stage. We treat them as though everything is perfectly normal (although hubby and I do get a chuckle out of all the theatrics and agree Jane really would be great in a horror movie - LOL) We know they may never cuddle but they will learn to tolerate each other --- and I'm sure your furkids will do the same. It really looks and sounds much worse that it is
post #11 of 14
Thread Starter 
Ok I cracked open the door today week 3 they looked at each other hissed growled and alex ran away.1st time they have seen each other since the firsrt week.should I leave the door cracked oped or let them alone for a while then do it again.I dont thonk they are ready to meet in the same room.Is is time to permantly crack open the door now?How long should I do this nor how long should I wait to do this thanks Glen still in kitty hell
post #12 of 14
When our daughter moved in with her kitten we had the hissing and snarling as well. We kept the kitten in our daughter's bedroom with litter, food and water. Since we are renovating and there are no door frames on as yet, even with the door closed there was a crack they could see each other through and which their paws would fit through. After the first week we would let them be out together but only if we were home to "supervise". It is now 4 or 5 weeks and this weekend was the first time we let them have a day together without us there. They get to playing quite rough and Bijou is 14.7 lbs and Mika is 5.2, so we worry a bit, but even though she is little she holds her own. Then they will lay down and sleep together. Bijou will get comfortable and Mika will literally lay on top of him and he grooms her and she grooms him. He spends more time grooming her ears than you can imagine. They will sort it out.
post #13 of 14
Everyday put them together for atleast 10 - 20 mins, Gradually each day let them be in the same room for a longer period.

let them have a fight, just dont let them injure them selves.
They have to learn to get long. 1 week is still not enough.

Alex since its her house shes being over protective.

Dont keep the other kitty in the bathroom the whole time!!! put it in another room? where it can interact with people like alex does.
post #14 of 14
Thread Starter 
First let me say to all I am SORRY.I have been away on business and did not post any updates.I see hissy is going to link all my posts together.I hope this will help others.We last left off leaving the doors cracked.So they could see each other.Lots of hissing growlnig and paw fighting under the door.We did this for about a week.Then the faithful day we let them be out in the same room.Hissing growling hair standing on end.They stared at each other then ran for cover.That nigh lots of hissing and hideing on both parts.Alex my cat was mad at me.She would not let me pet her or pick her up.This broke my heart.It only lasted 4 days.Then I could pet her again.She would sleep with me every night.Not any more.She now sleeps in the closet.So she can guard the door looking for roxy.Roxy sleeps on het couch for my girlfriends apartment.That is her home base.I cant pet roxy she hates me now.I cant pet her without her trying to scratch me.Or she just runs away from me.Alex still loves me and hates my girlfriend.Even now she hisses and tryes to scratch her every time she sees her.The two cats bacisally put up with eath other.Every dat we have a cat fight.I call them paw fights.They poth paw at each other hiss and one runs away.,This happens every day a few times.Alex still hates my girlfriend and roxy hates me.But we are living together.As long as they dont break anything we are happy.They scooch each other tho.One poops in the others box.One is sleeping the other wakes one up.I guess they are trying to find who is boss.I dont know how long it will be.Roxy is a changed cat.She never hissed befor or growlwd.Now she does on a regular basis.She is not as loving towards my girlfriend which is killing her.I hope things will change.Alex is back to normal with me.Except for one thing she will no longer sleep in bed with me.Because sue(my girl) is their.If sue leave in the morning she will come to bed with me.Otherwise not at all.Roxy is starting to sleep with sue.Some nights she does some nights she doesnot.But roxy has changed I hope she changes back but who knows.We are all living together and no one has died.If anyone has any nquestions or is going through what We did feel free to e-mail me with any questions.I would be more than happy to share what I have learned.Again sorry for the long responce time.. Thank you Glen,Sue,Roxy,Alex I am finally out of kitty hell
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