Just need some hugs and good vibes. Sorry to air personal laundry, but Grrr. I need to rant about this to someone.
I'm having a terrible week this week. With what happened to my cousin's cousin, and then female issues, and sickness and today was the straw that broke the camels back. My car had a malfunction. Something with pipes seperating from the engine. Huge financial issues, to begin with, and then. To top it off, I call Rob, and he whiens that he has to wait for his friend to call, does he have to come and pick me up. No, I say. My mother only lives over an hour away. So, I ended up walking halfway home (2.5) miles in the wet and wind and dark and cold, before I got ahold of a friend to come get me.
I get home, and he ims me and is like... well, i thought you said you had another ride. Obviously, saying, um, I guess I can try. Means yes, I will find someone, don't worry yourself dear. It turned into a huge fight. Again. We've been together almost a year and a half and while we really care about eachother, we have two very different outlooks on life and such. That got brought up, and after 4 hours on AIM(he didn't want to talk face to face because we always end up crying.), going back and forth over whether or not we should split, we stalemated. We are going to try, again. For the sixth time. And while I hope it works, I fear its doomed. He wants more freedom, and I want reassurance. Which in male talk apparently translates into me wanting him to be a whiney needy baby, just like I act. I throw my hands up at the situation becuase its always like this. We can't just argue, no, we have to go all out. Now I feel completely and utterly emotionally drained. I don't know what to tell him, he doesn't see that if he would be a little more reassuring on his own accord, I wouldn't ask for it, thus I wouldn't be "needy". GRRR. This is not my day. Worst was he brought up all this stuff about how hes been miserable for months and never told me, which made me feel incredibly guilty like I've been torturing him for months. I just don't know what to do about it anymore. Some days we are planning our marriage and the next day we are barely holding it together.
So, thank you all for reading my rant. I really just would appreciate some board magic and good vibes that this all starts to look up soon. Thanks.
I'm having a terrible week this week. With what happened to my cousin's cousin, and then female issues, and sickness and today was the straw that broke the camels back. My car had a malfunction. Something with pipes seperating from the engine. Huge financial issues, to begin with, and then. To top it off, I call Rob, and he whiens that he has to wait for his friend to call, does he have to come and pick me up. No, I say. My mother only lives over an hour away. So, I ended up walking halfway home (2.5) miles in the wet and wind and dark and cold, before I got ahold of a friend to come get me.
I get home, and he ims me and is like... well, i thought you said you had another ride. Obviously, saying, um, I guess I can try. Means yes, I will find someone, don't worry yourself dear. It turned into a huge fight. Again. We've been together almost a year and a half and while we really care about eachother, we have two very different outlooks on life and such. That got brought up, and after 4 hours on AIM(he didn't want to talk face to face because we always end up crying.), going back and forth over whether or not we should split, we stalemated. We are going to try, again. For the sixth time. And while I hope it works, I fear its doomed. He wants more freedom, and I want reassurance. Which in male talk apparently translates into me wanting him to be a whiney needy baby, just like I act. I throw my hands up at the situation becuase its always like this. We can't just argue, no, we have to go all out. Now I feel completely and utterly emotionally drained. I don't know what to tell him, he doesn't see that if he would be a little more reassuring on his own accord, I wouldn't ask for it, thus I wouldn't be "needy". GRRR. This is not my day. Worst was he brought up all this stuff about how hes been miserable for months and never told me, which made me feel incredibly guilty like I've been torturing him for months. I just don't know what to do about it anymore. Some days we are planning our marriage and the next day we are barely holding it together.
So, thank you all for reading my rant. I really just would appreciate some board magic and good vibes that this all starts to look up soon. Thanks.
