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big new boy is aggressive to older girl

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
hi, i'm new to the forum and have quite a problem! i've always had burmese kitties and think they are wonderful. several months ago, my beloved male passed away. after some time of my little girl kit (11 years old) being very lonely, i adopted an 18 month bombay girl and the two hit it off great after just about a week of separation and introduction. well, of course, i couldn't leave well enough alone, and got a bombay boy (3 years) from the same breeder. i'm doing the same separation/introduction procedure, but.... problems!!! the boy is a pretty large cat. and the 11 y/o burmese is small. on the two occasions i have tried to have them 'see' each other, total aggression on the boy's part (he actually broke free from me and chased her into hiding). she is now terrified of him, even tho i keep them separate all the time. i do move them back and forth (from one separation room to the other) to try and get them used to each other scents. it is very difficult always moving them and making sure everyone has clean litterboxes, food, water, toys, attention, etc. but i'll do whatever it takes! any advice would be greatly appreciated! they are all lovely, sweet kitties.... i just don't understand how to get this big boy to be okay with my little princess. he is fine with the young (18 month old bombay girl)... help, please!!!!
post #2 of 8
Are your boys intact? And are your girls as well? If so, that could very well be the problem-
post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by hissy
Are your boys intact? And are your girls as well? If so, that could very well be the problem-
hello hissy and thanks for the input. both girls are spayed and the male (who was a former studcat) was neutered about three weeks or so before i picked him up from the breeder. he doesn't show any signs of ever being a studboy (no spraying, mating-type behavior, etc.) and is overall a big lovebug. any other suggestions for me would be greatly appeciated, thanks!
post #4 of 8
Sorry your babies are having such a difficult time with their introduction, Barb. You will find excellent suggestions and advice in this article and this thread! Please keep us updated on how they're doing and feel free to ask us anything!
post #5 of 8
Thread Starter 
thank you so much for the help stephanie! we've been doing much of what the article suggested, but i am definitely going to try the perfume! omg, my house is going to smell like a department store cosmetics floor, hahaha! and thanx again for the tips on posting pics. my 16 y/o daughter is fantastic with computer-related and graphic things, so i think i will ask her to help me too. moonlight margarita (the burm girl), spooky (the bombay girl) and the big boy (who as yet has not named himself) but i call him big boy for now... all say thanks!
post #6 of 8
Hi, Burmeseluver, I got my first two Burmese kittens 6 weeks ago and I'm definitely a convert!

OK you can be sceptical and ignore this if you like, I wouldn't blame you and I nearly did, when I first read it. I had the same problem with my adult neutered male (big)cat and my two new Burmese kittens. He kept chasing them, when he caught them he would bite them whilst kicking them hard with his back legs. He wouldn't let go, until I intervened, even though the kitten squealed. My Raffles is a real softy normally and wouldn't hurt a fly. An animal behaviour book I read recommended Bach's Flower Remedies - Vine for aggression and dominance - 4 drops per day in the food, or water if you can be sure he's drinking it. Further research on the internet gave the same information
This remedy helps with the dominant animal who wants to be the boss of all the other animals and people. They are bullies to the other animals around them ......

from http://www.petsynergy.com/flower.html

Anyway, I did try it, it was only a couple of pounds from a herbal shop. And it seemed to work. He still has the odd chase, but now lets them chase him too and he snuggles up and sleeps with them on the sofa. I know that he might have got here anyway and has just got used to them, but the change seemed to happen very quickly after I started using it. I didn't dare leave them alone together for a minute, now I'm on the computer and they're all together somewhere in the house and I'm not too concerned. I'm more worried about what the kittens are climbing up and destroying!

I know it sounds laughable and I still only half believe the Vine did it, but for such a low price it's worth a try. Incidentally, you can also get a Flower Remedy for timid animals to make them more assertive - it could be worth a try on your little girl.
post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 
hello jan, and thanks so much for the post. interestingly, i picked up a bottle of the 'vine' and the 'rescue remedy' bach flower essences last week. i tried four drops in each water bowl, but have not kept it up. after hearing your experience, i will now dutifully keep using both remedies. i'm glad to hear you are a fellow burm person. i've had many kitties through the years, and loved them all, but in my opinion, there's nothing like a burm!! best of luck to you with yours, and i'll update with any progress we make with our group
post #8 of 8
Glad to hear you are giving it a go. (Sitting here with one red Burmese kitten on my lap trying to attack my hands as I type).

I ended up putting the Vine in Raffy's food, 4 drops, as then I was sure he was getting the lot. In the water they were all drinking it, and I always change it for fresh before it's empty, so I reckoned some of it was either going down the wrong cat, or down the sink. I'm nearly at the end of the bottle now and I think I'll try without for a while to see if he reverts, before I get another one.

Yes, definitely love the Burmese. Had to persuade my husband with lots of wheedling, from me and the children, because he was of the opinion "I'm not paying good money for a cat when I can get one for nothing!" I also felt a bit guilty about not having a rescue cat, because we've always had them before. But I have a cat allergy and got these on the recommendation that they are low allergen cats. And we do have Raffles who was an RSPCA cat.
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