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Wrapping presents with your cats

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
Wrapping Presents With the Help of Your Cat

By: Mark Jefferson


1.. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2.. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and
close door
3.. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe,
4.. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5.. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6.. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors
labels etc.,
7.. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping
strategy to be formed.
8.. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit and collect string.
9.. Reopen drawer and re-remove cat.
10.. Remove present from bag.
11.. Remove cat from bag.
12.. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
13.. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size,
14.. Try and smooth out paper, realise cat is underneath and remove cat.
15.. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
16.. Throw away first sheet as cat tried to chase the scissors, and tore
17.. Cut second sheet of paper to size. By putting cat in the bag the
present came out of.
18.. Place present on cut to size paper
19.. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't
reach, and realise cat is between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.
20.. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent
sticky tape.
21.. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky
tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
22.. Seal paper down, with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat
as possible.
23.. Look for roll of ribbon, chase cat down hall, in order to retrieve
24.. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a clever two directional turn.
25.. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's
enthusiasm to chase the end of the ribbon .
26.. Repeat steps 13-20 until down to last sheet of paper.
27.. Decide to skip steps 13-17, in order to save time and reduce risk of
loosing last sheet of paper. By retrieving old cardboard box, that you know
is right size for sheet of paper.
28.. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
29.. Remove string, open box and remove cat,
30.. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable
31.. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing
32.. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door
and re-lock.
33.. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary. Until you can hear the
cries from the cat outside the door.
34.. Lay out last sheet of paper. (I know this is difficult in a small
area such as the toilet. But try your best)
35.. Realise cat has already got to the paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last years paper, until you
remember that you haven't got any left, due to cats help with wrapping last
36.. Retire back to room lock door, and sit on toilet whist trying to work
out how to make torn sheet of paper look halfway presentable.
37.. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully seal
down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate
with bows to hide worst effected areas.
38.. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating
yourself on making good of a bad job.
39.. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
40.. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to the final
obvious conclusion.
41.. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
42.. Retrieve all thrown away sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and
retire back to room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the
door is locked.
43.. Find least torn and wrinkled sheets of paper, along with the ones
that the pattern matches the closet.
44.. Vainly try and wrap present, in patchwork of paper. Tie with the now
tattered ribbon and decorate with the now limp bows. Label and put present
in bag, for fear of anyone seeing this disaster.
45.. At time of handing over present smile sweetly at receivers face, as
they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped
46.. Swear to yourself that next year, that you will get the store to wrap
the thing for you.

Copyright: © Mark St Jefferson November 1999
post #2 of 28
That's great!
post #3 of 28
I waited until the most disruptive one (Grace) was sound asleep!
post #4 of 28
thats great Chris

Stephanie sent me an email with a cat poem - I hope she doesnt mind me putting it on here

A Christmas Poem

If under the Christmas Tree you see
A poorly wrapped package from Me
Remember that I have a cat
and upon your box he has sat

If the ribbon on your package is tattered
and the rest looks a little splattered
Remember that I have a cat
Who wore the bow on his head like a hat

If the paper on your package is shredded
and the gifts inside are now dreaded
Remember that I have a cat
and let's just leave it at that

Copyright © Margaret Fine
post #5 of 28
post #6 of 28
Anyone else forgo "bowing" their gifts? We gave up bows when Mac came to live with us.
post #7 of 28
That wasgreat and too true! My big cat, Jake, has a new obsession with bubble wrap. He loves the noise it makes when he steps on the bubbles. Now, I've seen people pop bubble wrap for the fun of it, but never a cat!! Has anyone else got a bubble wrap popping cat??
post #8 of 28
Oh my gracious, this is SOOOO true!!! I wrapped all our gifts yesterday and I was *THIS CLOSE* to locking them in the bedroom til I was done!! They are TOO curious sometimes!!!
post #9 of 28
Thread Starter 
Tonight I caught George chewing on a tag. I don't know who's present it was but there are a ton of little cat teeth holes in it.
post #10 of 28
LOL Mine just sat there and watched me do it.
post #11 of 28
too funny and true!!! I haven't wrapped my Xmas presents, I'm waiting until the last firstly, it's always a big battle with the furbabies, they are such sticky beaks lol, and secondly, the minute they are all wrapped and placed under the Xmas's a free-for-all....the presents are investigated, supervised and sometimes even chewed and tasted I really don't know what some of my friends think when they receive their pressies with claw marks on the paper and teeth marks through the tag and ribbons....
post #12 of 28
Oh that is so true! I always take the cat out of the room and close the door.
post #13 of 28

Very true! I think I'll post that poem (huggles) on every gift card of my presents.
post #14 of 28
hahah thankfully my girl hasn't taken to chewing on the presents, she likes the way the fake tree tastes her now favourite spot is under the tree, I wonder if she thinks everything under there is hers? She's been good so far.. the tree has only fallen once and she just tends to "sit" on the presents.. I guess she's making sure noone peaks

oh yeah christmas shopping is done!
post #15 of 28
I've seen that one several times, but it's always cute!
Danielle, I never saw that poem before. It's cute too!

We can never have any ribbons on any of our Christmas presents because Snowball will chew on them. And our RB kitty, Midnight, always used to help me wrap presents by chasing the scissors and standing on the wrapping paper. LOL!!!!

Here's a picture of Snowball getting into the presents last Christmas! Silly cat!!!

post #16 of 28
Originally Posted by katson7
too funny and true!!! I haven't wrapped my Xmas presents, I'm waiting until the last firstly, it's always a big battle with the furbabies, they are such sticky beaks lol, and secondly, the minute they are all wrapped and placed under the Xmas's a free-for-all....the presents are investigated, supervised and sometimes even chewed and tasted I really don't know what some of my friends think when they receive their pressies with claw marks on the paper and teeth marks through the tag and ribbons....
post #17 of 28
post #18 of 28
Originally Posted by Emma's Friend
Anyone else forgo "bowing" their gifts? We gave up bows when Mac came to live with us.

I gave up on bows a few years back, it's pointless to even try
post #19 of 28
Oh thats just to cute and true lol

I don't use bows Jasper would eat them lol and I used to put the pressys under the tree as I wraped them I can no longer do that either lol Jasper destroys the boxes lol but he lets me wrap them in peace lol he only attacks the sticky tape lol
post #20 of 28
They were great! I was laughing so much and reading aloud!!

I was wrapping yesterday and Tibby does the chasing scissor thing and Molly tends to chew the paper! Oh the fun!

Tibby loves Bubble Wrap too!! It is so fun watching him popping it! It just gets a bit bad when I need to package something and he has made it all flat!!
post #21 of 28

--OMG!! That is just TOO cute(and TOO true!!! )
It goes on EVERY year--but makes me laugh EVERY time!!!

(Doesn't take much to amuse me--OR keep me happy!! )
post #22 of 28
i have no more xmas papar! he has shredded them all
post #23 of 28
how funny! and how true! i knew what was coming so i put all the gifts in a back room and have been working in their, i feed sara in the kitchen and then run down the hallway into the room, if i dont distract her it is impossible to get into any room without her getting in there! i probably wont set the presents under the tree until x-mas eve... maybe, unless i get brave
post #24 of 28
Caution on ribbons: my Penelope loves to play with these. She finds ribbons more exciting than any of her other toys because she loves shredding them with her claws. Unfortunately, she came down with Pyothorax -- a very weird disease for an indoor cat to get, and I suspect it may have to do with her chewing on and swallowing some ribbon. (Pyothorax is a serious and often fatal disease. Penelope has been on antibiotics for a month now and has, so far, avoided hopitalization.)

The vet told me some cats get it from as small and freakish an incident as a piece of grass piercing the esophagus and infecting the chest cavity. I read that the material made to manufacture ribbons can pierce a cat's intestine so I assume it acted like a piece of grass and did the same to her esophagus? I don't know. Just a hypothesis.

Keep in mind that I've discovered Penelope "eats" her toys. Saturday night I found a chunk of her favorite pink sponge ball in her throw-up.
post #25 of 28
Ah the joys of wrapping presents with the cats. Gandalf wants to be up in the wrapping paper the moment I get it out. But I've found if I wad up a piece of wrapping paper and toss it I can get one gift wrapped while he bats the ball around. (Thank goodness for scraps.)

Samwise on the other hand just wants to watch. Only thing is I have to watch him around the ribbon. After this year, no more ribbon.

I always use bows though...I have caught them playing with them yet, but every cat I've had loves to bat them around while we open presents on Christmas morning.
post #26 of 28
Brads birthday was last month and I had a bow in a bag for his present and Rocket being nosey as he is comes trotting out into the livingroom with it in his mouth! He got it out of the bag in the kitchen and thought it was his new toy! Brad got a huge laugh out of it! I was going to strangle(JK!) a monster!!! LOL! but the next day Rocket had a new toy (of course!) Brad thought that was better then his present I think! Rocket STILL has that ribbon somewhere, Every once in awhile he brings it out and will play with it. Goofy cat!
post #27 of 28
I'm wrapping presents right now, Snowball tried to help but he almost drove me nuts instead! LOL!!!! First, he immediately discovered which bag contained his gifts, and started trying to tear the bag open. I finally got the bag away from him and put it back in the closet. Next, I spread out some wrapping paper so I could wrap a shirt for my son. Snowball thought I spread the paper out just so he could keep pacing back and forth on it. So 1 picked him up and put him on the floor and placed my son's shirt on top of the paper. Then I had to go and find the scotch tape, when I came back, Snowball was laying on top of my son's shirt which happens to be a very dark color. That's when I put Snowball in the next room, and that's where he still is. It's very quiet in that room, I hope everything's ok! LOL!!!!!
post #28 of 28
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