Babye...pronounced Ba-bee

This story is about the first cat I ever fell in love with! Her name was Babye. Babye was born under my bed in 1996. My cat Tia had the litter. She had 5 babies and the one little grey, white and orange calico always cried. Tia obviously didnt know what to do and she used to bring her to me. Kinda strange, but true. My then husband, (a real JERK), told me she was too little she wasnt gonna make it, and to let her die. Now ya know partially why I refer to him as I do. I wasnt about to let her die! I got some milk she could digest and a little bitty, baby bottle like thing. I fed her every 2-4 hours, even through the night. She eventually started gaining weight and she made it! What a sweetie she turned into! I had gotten her fixed and declawed in the front. (I know more about that now) So soon after, Jerk and I separated and I went to stay somewhere else and took her with me. She went with me everywhere. She loved going in the car, and would ride across the back of my neck on my shoulders and watch the world go by. One day I was crying, which happened a lot then, and I was laying on the bed. She came up and licked my tear away, and just snuggled up to me. I knew I loved her already but that really told me she loved me too! So after a couple of weeks Jerk asked me to come stay the night and so on. I went and took Babye with me. That night he was letting the other cat(s) out and Babye followed. I yelled to get her, and he said she'll be fine, she'd stay with the others. I dont know where my head was, apparently not screwed on. I went out a little while later and called for her. She was nowhere to be found. I thought she would come back, she was exploring. I checked a few more times and no kitty. The next day still nothing. I was optimistic thinking someone had picked her up and she had a collar on, they would bring her home. I left and later that day went back to see if she was there. Jerk told me that the neighbors, next street up had accidentally run over her and brought her collar to him. He said they asked what to do with her and he told them to throw her away!! I was devastated!! I cried for days! Then I went back to the apt. and didnt stay with him for a while. So the next time we fought, guess what? He told me the truth about what happened to Babye! That was all a story he made up, saying he thought it would "hurt less"! HA! Being that I had just had her declawed not even a month before...she went across the street and jumped a chain-linked fence. The one yard in the neighborhood with hunting dogs. Apparently one of them bit her and ripped her neck open and she got away and hid behind some garden shovels and such, where she slowly died from the injury!!!! The neighbor found her because the dogs were keeping a close watch and barking at her because they couldnt get to her. She died alone and terrified and where was I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ? It still tears me up to think about her!! I should have heard her cry and saved her. I know that I cant carry that guilt and try to get over it. I still keep her picture right her on the computer table and think of her often, even after all this time. Oh, and I divorced the *@&#$!* later on.
Rest In Peace Babye! Momma loves you!!

I am so sorry. I am sitting here, trying not to start crying again. How my heart aches for you. Please don't beat yourself up over this. Here is a link on guilt, perhaps it will help you too. http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html

Hang in there...

Try not to think about how she died, but rather how she lived. That may help you ease the guilt that you have been carrying for so long.

Oh, Patty, the burden you carry in your heart must be so heavy to bare. I'm so sorry you lost your precious Baybe. She knows the love you feel for her and would never want you to be in such agonizing pain.

Patty I am so sorry you have suffered in this way. I would think that most people have something happen in their life which they wish with all their heart hadn't happened. You obviously loved Babye dearly and you know that love was returned. If we knew the future we could prevent some of it happening, unfortunately we don't. Stop beating yourself up Patty, Babye will be sending you love from where she is. She is in no pain or suffering and playing happily until you meet again. Remember all the love you gave her and how happy she was and is now. She knows you love her Patty.

I LOVE THIS SITE, and I love the support I have gotten from you all!
It really does help to be able to talk about it.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY !!

My heart goes out to you!
Your post caught my eye as we also have a Baby (pronounced Babye). My sister and I raised her from 2 days old after her mother just left her. I am truly sorry that you had to go through with that. How you must have suffered. Let go of the guilt and know that sometimes things happen that we have no control over. And remember God has a habit of taking the best ones early.
Just think of the joyous meeting you will one day have!
JIL05