What I'd Like to Say To My Father for Father's Day - If I Could

My father passed away almost 5 years ago, to me it seems much more recent.

If I could have one more conversation with him, pre the Parkinson's and his strokes, I would say....

I wish I knew you better. I love you so deeply, without any particular reason other than that you are my dad, my handsome dad who tells corny jokes (as do I), whose taste in Italian pastrie's I share (pusties from the Florentine Bakery in Utica), who gave me the kind of support I had always needed, just when I needed it at 27, when my engagement ended. You never made me feel like you'd be disappointed if I didn't marry and give you grandchildren...you just wanted me to be happy.

Being less than perfect people, at the end of the day, the greatest gift is to love someone as they are, as completely as you can...and you did, and I miss & love you so very much.

Pat that is beautiful, and I bet he heard every word!

Thanks Hissy.

Btw, I forgot to say that I began this for anyone else who might want to post a message to their dad.

Originally Posted by Pat & Alix

You never made me feel like you'd be disappointed if I didn't marry and give you grandchildren...you just wanted me to be happy.

Being less than perfect people, at the end of the day, the greatest gift is to love someone as they are, as completely as you can...and you did, and I miss & love you so very much.

Click to expand...

I'm all teared up after reading that Pat!

.....................

I lost my father to cancer when I was 17 and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I still miss your big bear hugs that would make any problem a distant memory. Your wonderful sense of humour and the glint of mischief in those warm brown eyes.

I miss your genuine nature, giving heart and the quiet dignity that surrounded you even in the end.

Thank you dad.......for everything.

Thank you Pat & Alix for this.

Dad ,
Words can't express the sorrow we all feel now that you have gone. We know that it's a better place free from worry and pain, but we miss you. Miss you so much it's a physical pain.

I know that I missed you asking me to be your Valentine on Feb 14th this year. I remember the year you had your by-pass surgery and couldn't say a thing because of all the tubes and machines you still asked me to be your valentine by drawing a heart on my chest. I miss that Dad.

I miss how I could always come to you and cry on your shoulder when my life was going down the tubes. How you were always there with a hug and a smile that would put the sun to shame, so bright and love always in your eyes. I even miss how when one of us did something wrong growing up you would give us just and fair punishment.

That sparkle in your beautiful blue eyes is what I will always remember the most. Now when we leave the house where we grew up it feels odd to just be telling Mom goodnight and how much we love her. I always tell you goodnight and that I love you too even though your physical self isn't there, I can feel you wrap your strong arms around me, around us all.

I hope that I told you enough of just how much I love you. It was the hardest thing to let you go, I know it is what you wanted but it was hard. I wish I could turn back the hands of time just so I could tell you again how much I love you...just one more time.

Thank you Daddy for shaping who I am, being there for me; for us all when we didn't know which way to turn. You will always be my beacon in the darkest of night,the light at the end of the tunnel. I will always be proud to be your daughter as you have taught me something that I will never forget....how to love with all my heart.

Thank you Daddy, we love you and miss you

Oh my, what touching, endearing tributes-

Dear Daddy,

It has been 2 and a half years since you left and I still don't know what it is that I did to make you resent me so much. Even that first night in hospice, after you decided to stop the medications which were responsible for keeping you alive ... Mom went to your bedside and told you she loved you - you told her you loved her too. Both of my sisters did the same, each telling you they loved you and your response was the same ... "I love you too" you said to them both. Then I came to your bedside and I said I loved you very much ... and you said, "Ok Gaye." *sigh*

My own husband thought I was lying when I told him that never in all of my life you ~never~ said those three words to me ... I Love You. He thought I was making it up. Then, that night, he saw it with his own two eyes. But still, he refused to believe it was true. My husband said to me, "He just didn't hear you, Gaye - you go right back in there and tell him again - you'll never forgive yourself if you don't make absolutely certain he knows" ... So, even knowing the torture it would be for me, I went back into your room to give you another chance. I said, "Goodnight Daddy, I love you" and in front of my disbelieving husband, you looked me right in the eye and said, "You said that already." *sigh* Did you see my husband drag me from the room before I was wracked with such intense emotional pain that I nearly collapsed in the hallway from it? Didn't you get it that I was so in need for you to tell me that you loved me ... even if it was a LIE, Daddy, I NEEDED to hear it.

I loved you with all that I am, Daddy. I admired you. I looked up to you and begged you for some sort of acknowledgement. Do you remember when I was about 6 years old and you were watching us while Mom went to the movies with some friends ... and I fell in the driveway? I cut my knee so badly I had to go to the ER and get stitches. I came in - crying and in pain, scared and helpless - to tell you I was hurt. I showed you that I was bleeding. You told me to "put a band-aid on it and quit making such a big fuss". It was only when the neighbor saw me outside crying, blood pouring out of my leg that you were forced to deal with me. I was SIX YEARS OLD, Daddy!!!

Did you know as you lay there dying that I was the one holding your hand? Did you know that Mom and my sisters couldn't deal with it and left me alone in the room with you as you slipped away? They LEFT, Daddy. Isn't it ironic that it was me - the one you resented, the one you didn't want, the one you didn't love - who was the only one who was there with you in your last moments?

It is Father's Day soon and I am supposed to honor you somehow. I don't know how to do that, Daddy. I tried to do it while you were alive. God, how I tried. I am a grown woman and it isn't supposed to bother me that you will NEVER tell me you loved me, that you were proud of me, that maybe you even admired me. I will never hear any of those things from you. And Mom, bless her sweet heart, tries her best to convince me that in your own way, you cared about me. But I know differently and so do you. If you had, you would have made certain I knew that you did care. But time after countless time you had the opportunity to tell me - yet you never did.

I just don't know how to honor you Daddy. I just don't know how. I guess I never will.

Gaye

Whether positive or negative, our fathers have such a profound impact on our life. These moving tributes are so very beautiful and touching.

Dad,

I always remember on the day i got married to Ed and there was just the two of us in the house waiting for the wedding car to arrive. Your last words to me before leaving the house were to say how lovely i looked and how if anything went wrong that my bed would still be there for me.

I know i had Richie at the time when i was upset after leaving Ed, and although he did comfort me, he found it hard as he still thought i had feelings for Ed, so it was then that i really felt that i needed "My Dad" to make things right again.

You would always tease me about boyfriends and it wasn't until i married that you told me you and mum would lie awake until you both heard my key in the door.

I met Ed and started staying over at his place a couple of nights a week which made you so annoyed and caused us to argue for the first time in my 20 years. Your reasons for being annoyed were that "your little girl" was with someone who you hadn't met and didn't know what sort of person he was and it was a couple of years later that i realised how upsetting this must have been for you.

Because i was the youngest i was the one who got spoilt and fussed over by you and i was the one who had been hit the hardest when you died of a massive stroke

After 21 years i still miss you dad, and it only seems like yesterday that you were still here.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD

All my love

Susan (aka Poppitt!)