or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › New & seeking advice
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

New & seeking advice

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Hello everyone I am new to the forums and wanted to introduce myself and seek some advice. My husband and I are proud "parents" to two wonderful boy kitties. Kingston is 2 years old and v8 is 9. v8 and I met at an animal hospital that I use to work for when he was just a few weeks old. He adopted me right away. I use to take him to work all the time and socialize him with dogs, cats, people, etc. He is pretty social and has always gotten along with other kitties. Kingston on the other hand has never really been around any other animals except for v8 and he is actually very shy and scared of strangers in the house. When we first adopted Kingston 2 years ago, v8 went into a depression. This was the first time we had ever seen him not get along right away with a new cat. He literally spent three months under the bed barely EVER coming out. Eventually he got over it and tolerated Kingston. I think the drastic age difference really bothered v8 - "who the heck is this infant in my house!". As time has gone by, v8 has grown to like Kingston and they are friends now. Kingston is very affectionate and playful toward v8 but even though v8 likes Kingston, he is more into laying around on his own than playing with Kingston all the time. Again, I think the age difference is a factor. They will sleep next to each other and play tag a bit, but v8 isn't up for an entire day of playing like Kingston is. My husband and I are away from the home from 7am til 5pm everyday and as far as we can tell.. they just sleep the entire day. When we are home they both are up and ready to play with us. v8 is quite content playing just a few minutes at a time throughout the whole night, but my gawd Kingston is really just non-stop. He stares at his toys and meows to be played with all night long. He is just so full of energy - it's really great that he is so energetic and playful, but we can't play with him for 6 straight hours either and v8 certainly isn't picking up the slack.

This is where we really need advice. We were thinking that adopting a third kitty that was closer to Kingston's age might help. Then they could play with each other and burn off energy in addition to the playing that we already do with them. Now in the past, I have always had 1-3 cats living with me.. it was always my answer to a bored kitty.. if they're bored get them a friend. But now it's complicated because v8 didn't really enjoy the last new kitty very much, and we are worried about how Kingston will react since he has never really been around anyone other than v8. I am not as worried as my husband about the whole thing, really. I think as long as the cat is a good personality match for v8 and Kingston that they will adjust over time and learn to like their new friend. I also think v8 will be fine as long as it isn't some rambunctious kitten again. But I do share the worries to a degree - What if Kingston just freaks out completely? What if Kingston doesn't WANT a new friend? What if Kingston does okay but then suddenly v8 is being left out of everything the younger cats are doing? Are three kitties too many kitties for one family? Which should we get if we adopt, female or male - which is a better match to bring into a home of two males? In the end after adjustment, will a third kitty be a good playmate or just an annoyance they never wanted? Kingston gets stressed easily also - he freaks out when new things are happening around him. Would a new cat just be too stressful to be worth it?

I know this is long - so thanks for reading all of this and any suggestions you guys can offer would be great.
post #2 of 15
Firstly, welcome to TCS!

It sounds as though getting another cat for Kingston to play with would be a good solution. As you said, the new cat wouldn't have to be a rambunctious kitten but a yong cat. I believe v8 would adjust to the newcomer far better than he did Kingston as he won't be a small kitten wanting him to play all the time (he'll want to play with Kingston) and he's also already been through the experience of adjusting to a newcomer.

I really don't think Kingston will freak out or that he doesn't want a friend. In fact, I think it is the opposite. He is meowing for you to play when you're home because he hasn't been able to burn off all that energy during the day. If you do the introductions properly, I bet the newcomer and Kingston will be chasing each other, play wrestling and having a ball in no time. v8 can then choose to join in the games if he's in the mood or just relax and watch the others play.
post #3 of 15
Just to add, I don't think v8 would be lonely or left out at all. He will join in when he wants to and will probably enjoy not having Kingston pestering him at all hours of the day and night (as well as you and your hubby).

Is three cats too may? If you have the room and finances, no way. You said yourself that you've always had 1-3 cats living with you so you'd be used to having 3.

Male or female? Once they are spayed as kittens, I don't find that there is much difference due to gender in cats. Of course, every cat has their own unique personality, so perhaps concentrate on that instead of gender. Whether you get a male or female, you will need to make sure they are spayed or neutered, especially in the case of introducing a male into the household.
post #4 of 15
Welcome to TCS!! I agree with Tania. If I may suggest, you sound like it would be best to find a rescue that will allow you a "trial" period to ensure that your new cat works out with your existing ones. The group I volunteer with has a foster to adopt program and existing cat owners really appreciate the fact that if there are any issues during the trial time, they can alway bring the cat back and try with a different one.

post #5 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the advice everyone and for the warm welcomes!

TNR1 - you live just a state over from me so I was wondering if I could have info about the organization you volunteer for that offers "trial" periods?

post #6 of 15
Oh...LOL...didn't see you were in Maryland. I volunteer with Lost Dog and Cat Rescue in Northern Virginia..here is their website:


The foster to adopt program works this way....you take a cat for a trial period of 2 weeks before you pay the adoption fee. If you decide you want to keep the cat, you pay the adoption fee but still get an additional 2 weeks to make sure it is all working out (if not you still get your full fee returned). After the 4 weeks (2 trial, 2 after paying the adoption fee) you can still bring the cat back to us..but we would not return the adoption fee. The fee is $150 but that covers their spay/neuter, all their shots and of course their boarding. If for any reason you could not keep the cat...Lost Dog would want it back so that we could find it a new home.

post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 
That is great info, Katie, thank you!
post #8 of 15
You are welcome!! Always glad to see Virginia, Maryland and DC posters on this site.

post #9 of 15
Bengy Welcome to TCS
post #10 of 15
Welcome to the site!

You've already gotten some great advice, but I'll move this to the Behavior Forum where people who have gone through similar circumstances can weigh in on your dillema.
post #11 of 15
Sometimes we think cats are lonely and they aren't. We are just projecting our feelings to them because we worry about our cats and want what's best. But some cats are just better off without another cat to socialize with, while others welcome new additions all the time.

It also depends on how much space you have, how many litter pans you are willing to deal with if you have cat posts they can climb up and down to get away from each other?
post #12 of 15
Welcome to TCS!! U've gotten some great advice already but I just wanted to welcome u. Nice to see another member from MD!
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 
Hissy thanks for these thoughts - I guess I have a hard time knowing what would be best and what wouldn't.

As far as space, we live in a three story 2200 sq foot townhome. Right now, we have two litter pans but we would add another (or more if needed). We only have one 5 ft tall cat tree and a couple smaller scratching posts, but we have no problems with purchasing more items either. The plan I have if we do decide to adopt is to set up one of the smaller bedrooms w/ a cat tree, scratching post, cat bed, food/water, litter pan and toys. That would be the new kitty's initial spot in our house while everyone begins adjustment and introductions.
post #14 of 15
I have a little guy who is the youngest and newest of my 3 (nearly 10 months old now). He doesn't like change, either, and is wary of strangers...but he LOVES other cats. He adopts the strays and he gives my old lady lovins she does NOT want But he keeps my 1 year old busy and gives the old lady a break from play. She loves Frodo (the middle child) but hates Pookie even though he's been here since Nov. If he starts to love her up too much she hisses and hits him, but he doesn't care. She just walks away.

I'd say try it out. Sounds as if your Kingston could use a friend and your old man could use a break!
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks to everyone for all of the great advice and welcomes! This forum is fantastic - what a wealth of information and great people.

I have shared the info I have gotten with my hubby and we will continue to discuss the idea of a new adoption over the next few weeks. We will be going away for a week at the end of the month so we know we don't want to adopt before then and subject a new baby to pet sitting so early on! We both agreed we are willing to make the commitment when it comes to the added supplies/expenses and we are certainly willing to spend our time as well but we don't want to make a hasty decision either so we will think on it for a while.

Kingston and v8 really do have wonderful lives and are very happy. If they never get a new friend, I am sure they would still live very happy lives. I think hubby and I both agree though that a friend would only add to Kingston's happiness. But I must admit, It looks like this isn't just about Kingston but also about me wanting another furry friend as well. I do think Kingston will benefit from a friend, but it's not like he is lonely NEEDS a friend to be happy either.

So we will keep thinking on this and decide after our vacation.

Thanks again - I am so glad to find this place!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Cat Behavior
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › New & seeking advice