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How long did it take you to bond with your kitties?

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
With Furball, I was very bonded with him in less than one day. With the 3 new kitties, I care very much about them, they are trying to wiggle their way into my heart, but that bond just isn't there yet. It's been a little over two weeks. I feel guilty, because they certainly deserve this bond, but it just isn't there yet. So I was wondering how long it takes everyone else?
post #2 of 23
Moth and her family (mom, brother and sister, all RB) took about 2 seconds to win me over. They literally rescured ME, even though they were the ones abandoned by my neighbors.

Frodo was rescued from the HS for my daughter after Moth's brother, my handsome Puck, died last year of FIV. I tried hard not to bond with him because he was supposed to be Danielle's cat, but I'm home all day and Danielle is at school...and...well...took me 1 day to bond with this little guy

PixelPuff (RB in Dec.) was such a character it took about an hour.

Pookie, whom I rescued just moments before he was to be PTS due to "untamability" took no time to bond with, but 2 weeks to tame. But I was determined because he just stole my heart.

Don't feel too guilty. Sometimes it's difficult to bond even with your own kids, let alone your pets. Your bond with your original cat is, I'm sure, very strong, and perhaps a part of you feels that you are betraying her by bonding closely to the new kitties. You'll need to get over that, though. It's ok to prefer one over the other(s), just as long as the others don't know who it is that you prefer!
post #3 of 23
I was very fond of Sam right away, but I wouldn't say we "bonded" for about three months. That's when I started being able to tell what he was feeling, and sensed his character. Until then, he was just my pet cat. With Bailey, it took less time, because she was an affectionate little thing, but again, it took a while for me to feel really close to her. Sam was much faster to bond with her, and what helped me was seeing how protective he was with her.
post #4 of 23
It varies. When I foster cats I can always stay at an emotional distance. I love them, usually within hours of meeting them, but I don't bond with them (it wouldn't be wise).

With my own cats I bonded pretty quick with my first cat. Megan was a tiny 6 week old kitten when we got her. When we added Maubee we had a lot of trouble with the two of them getting along. Since Meg was my first love I didn't really bond with him until they were getting along better. Mimosa and Jadzia were both fosters and so I chose not to bond with them until we were already sure we were keeping them. It was several months for each of them.

I'm sure the bond will be strong regardless of whether it happens identically with what you experienced with your other cats. Love is still love in any shape or size. Don't worry. You'll forge unique bonds with them at the right pace. You have plenty of time.

post #5 of 23
Bonding with Lexi took all of 5 minutes. She was my first, and I loved her from the moment I met her.

I got Toby to be company for Lexi. I remember a conversation I had with a friend about a month after I got him. I was worried because I just didn't love him the way I loved Lexi. I was trying to decide whether to take him back to the no-kill shelter I got him from, and give him a chance to find a home that would love him the way I loved Lexi. Luckily, I didn't. He ended up being my best friend for the next seven years.

Zac came to me very ill. I didn't know that at the time I got him, and I didn't really feel anything special towards him until a week after he moved in, and I realized he might die. At that point he became more precious to me than I ever imagined anything could.

I adopted Tady after Toby died. While when I brought him home I was excited to have him, within a week I started to dislike him. If Toby hadn't died, I would have never gotten Tady, and I think a combination of guilt/anger/sorrow got in the way of my loving Tady for a little bit. After getting some good counsel from family and friends, I was able to put that behind me, and I started to notice the uniqueness that is my Tady. In all, it was about 3 weeks from the time he came to live with me that we bonded.
post #6 of 23
With Paige it took all of about .5 seconds. her tail swished and my heart went "My babyyyyy!"

Molly, we do love her, but she's been so hard to bond with, due to her depression and dissociative problems, that she's been hard to bond with. We literally aren't able to be around her (upon her orders) for an extended period of time.She is coming around though, and I know as soon as she is comfortable enough to come out and be with us, we'll be instantly bound.
post #7 of 23
Denise isn't this so that it is up to the cat about the bonding. When I lifted Felix and Buttons up at the dogs home there was an instant bond with both of them. Tara and Pebbles were 7.5 months old and were very frightened, but they both came out to me to be petted the same night. It did take a few weeks though for that bond to happen.
post #8 of 23
When we first got Mittens is took him about 2 days to warm up to us completely...he was very scared of the new change. He ran up to me that one morning, head-bonkin me! I loved it! He was just purring away!
post #9 of 23
For my Scuffy, it took two weeks. He was really scared when I got him, always hide. He is not use to people, just me, he won't let other people to touch him. I really wanted him to get used to people and not run away or hise everytime he see somebody.
post #10 of 23
Gandalf I bonded with right away but I was there through his mother's pregnancy and was really hyped up that she had given birth.

Samwise I would say took a couple of days before he had wormed his way into my heart.
post #11 of 23
I bonded with Rosie straight away.

When i brought Sophie home, although Rosie took an instant dislike to her. by the end of the day i had already bonded with her and i prayed that they would become friends.

Thank god they did, because theres no way i could have sent her back
post #12 of 23
Sierra and I bonded the moment we saw eachother. She stole my heart instantly and immediately had me wrapped around her little paw! It was suddenly as if she had always been in my life.
post #13 of 23
Simon was my first kitty as an adult. He took about a second for me to bond with. I love him to death. He's a one person kitty so we have a very special relationship. When we brought Max home it took a bit longer. I felt guilty about loving another kitty and Simon. Now Max and Simon are best friends and I love them both! (Simon will always be my special baby though. Just don't tell Max!)
post #14 of 23
I think I bonded with Tipsy before I had even seen him I was just so excited and impatient to get a kitten and it seemed like the kitten season would never come that the moment I saw him - that was it - he was in my heart and nothing was going to stop me bringing him home.
From there - each day he has wormed his way further and further into my heart.

With Cedar - I instantly fell in love with him - however since Tipsy wasnt too fond of him I was stressing and so wanting them to become friends - the bond wasnt really there, I loved him - but the bond was different - I know it sounds horrible but I was so concerned about how Tipsy was feeling with this new addition....

thankfully they are now the best of friends and I have bonded completely with both of them. They both have such different personalitys and each unique that you couldnt not bond with themwqqqqq (those q's were just Cedar saying hello!!! ) and love them both COMPLETELY
post #15 of 23
About two days, but since I was home alot (before I got my present job) I was spending almost 20 hours a day with her.
post #16 of 23
Doonesbury (RB and my first cat)- I instantly bonded with him the second I saw him in my mom's arms (mom got him for me as a surprise when I was about 7 yrs old and I still remember the first time I saw him! Have to really thank mom for that because she's very allegric to cats and dogs!). That bond was one of a kind-we were soulmates.

Rusty- Fell in love with her the second I saw her with her littermates and bonded! She stayed with my parents when I moved here to MD (I left her with my parents mainly because she HATES me with a passion- that's a LONG story for another time! )

Sammy- took me several weeks to bond with him- I rescued him from the street where he was hit by a car (was bleeding from head and mouth). It took me a couple weeks to bond with him due to him recovering from his injuries, me intending to find him another home (dad FORBADE having TWO cats but I finally convinced him to let me keep Sammy after I couldn't find any other home for him. )and feeling frustrated with him picking on Rusty and not getting along with her in the beginning. HE also stayed with my parents and Rusty when I moved here .

Sunniday (RB)- It took me about 2 weeks to bond with her because I was so freaked out by her uncanny resemblance to Doonesbury (RB first cat). I adopted her without seeing her first so when I opened the carrier, my face was like this- Another factor of not bonding right away was the fact that I also intended to find her another home when I first got her from a family who planned to drop her off at the pound (she was 11 yrs old and declawed) but after the 2nd week of no success in finding another home, I knew I loved her and couldn't bear to proceed looking for another home for her so she got stuck with me.

Zebra- Took me several weeks to bond with her because she didn't come out of hiding (under couch) for 2 weeks when I first adopted her and was very very shy for a couple months. She didn't bond to me for about TWO YEARS-(I think she was abused before I got her at 9 months old-she's TERRIFIED of other people especially men). Now we have a special bond and I think that is because I had to work so hard and long to get her to bond with me.

Buddy & Spike- I bonded with them the second I saw them trying to climb out toward me from a cage at the vet at the age of 3 weeks old.

Pepper-Bonded with her the second I saw her as a newborn with her littermates (mama cat who I rescued from a blizzard gave birth to 5 kittens in my bedroom!)

Each bond is unique and the length of bonding varies with each person and each cat I believe... I'd have to say as of now, I think my strongest bond are with Zebra and Buddy but I shower all 4 with love and attention EQUALLY.
post #17 of 23
Twig I bonded with soon after Brad got him for me. I loved that cat and spoiled him rotten from the moment I laid eyes on him!(what's changed???)
Rocket I bonded with him as soon as the lady at the cat show let me hold him. he nuzzled under my chin and that was that, he was mine! we bought him right then and there.
Isis took longer since she is a reformed feral. she is still working on her trust bond but I think it's getting alot better thenthe first time I met her. I can pick her up and she doesn't run away like she used to and hold her while laying down(NOT a thing she likes at all and will scratch to get away!) and she doesn't even mind Brad petting her while she is on the bed anymore, now she will rub against Brads legs in the computer room and occassionally leap on his lap for pettings if I'm not here.
Luna is also a reformed reral, but she is bonding a little faster then Isis.
She will actually sleep with us, likes to be kissed on the top of the head, doesn't mind being out in the opened like on the top of the cat towers (Isis perfers to be on the very bottom or if she can under them) The other day I saw Luna go into the towel cabinet something Rocket always does but when I tried to let her go in there one day she scratched me while taking off to get out of there(the door wasn't closed or anything) so I'm happy about that.
she still doesn't like to be picked up though, she will leap away from you when you get close if she doesn't want you to pick her up or pet her.
But they are all spoiled and I will spoil them until they day they leave me..
post #18 of 23
Originally Posted by dawnofsierra
Sierra and I bonded the moment we saw eachother. She stole my heart instantly and immediately had me wrapped around her little paw! It was suddenly as if she had always been in my life.
The bond you have with Sierra shows through Stephanie. Perhaps you are soulmates
post #19 of 23
Here's a question- Is it sometimes simply not possible to bond with a certain cat for some unknown reason??
post #20 of 23
Originally Posted by JasmineCat
Here's a question- Is it sometimes simply not possible to bond with a certain cat for some unknown reason??
That's a very good question. I think it depends on various factors- how the owner generally feel about cats- if the owner looks at the cat as just an animal then it might be harder to bond. Another factor could be the amount of interaction between the owner and the cat... Another factor could be how the cat views humans in general.... I'm sure there are other factors that can affect this but these are the ones I could think of off my head.

Again, I might be wrong about this because I have always bonded with my cats one way or other. (I have always loved cats sooo...)

I'd be very interested to see what other people on this forum has to say to this..
post #21 of 23
With my adopted older Persian- it took less than a day- brought her home one Friday evening- she checked out my home, ate slept- then woke me the next morning by jumping on my chest and patting my face with her paw. She had to go the the vets for a couple of days a week later- I missed her so much. From day one I could carry her around like a baby- though she would bite at times.
With my very cuddly sweet kitten- he settled in well- and I loved him from day one- but the real bond (on my part) took a few months- maybe because I was always comparing him to my older cat.
It may take time- you need to get to know their personalities and quirks
Good Luck
post #22 of 23
First of all, my personal definition of "bonding" means that you become a mom, and not a simple owner or caretaker. I had a vet tech tell me once that they can immediately recognize the difference between moms/dads and simple pet owners. They treat the moms/dads with a lot more respect.

I bonded with my 3 bottle fed babies (Scarlett, Muddy, Koko) the second that I picked them up and brought them in the house to feed. How can you not bond with a kitten whose life is literally in your hands?

I bonded with Stumpy when I discovered him in my storm cellar with half of his tail chopped off. He was so scared, I picked him up and carried him into my house and laid him on Steve's chest, where he promptly curled up in a ball and started purring. And yes, we had to bottle feed for a few days to get him weaned.

Tigger and Eightball have taken quite a while to bond to, as in years. They are the most feral of my rescues and I think I couldn't bond with them because they were so aloof with me. I loved them, but there was a long time before I could cross the barrier between being a simple caretaker to being their mom. And they are only bonded to me and will never bond with anyone else.

Everyone else falls within the few days to a few months range. The sadder their story, the quicker I bond to them.

I think there are times when you can't bond with a cat. I can't totally bond with the outside ferals. I can love them, fight for their lives and take care of them, but they can't show any real affection to me - just appreciation. I also know that at any time they can disappear from my life and I don't allow myself to fully bond or it would hurt too much if they did disappear.
post #23 of 23
I instantly knew Dylan was to be in my life and that I needed to rescue him and protect him at all costs. I bonded to him the second he let out his little "mew" with pinched eyes in his cage at the shelter.

But, he fought me all the way and was horribly depressed for MANY months after I brought him home. He sat in the window ledge and stared outside, and didn't bond with me, or open up and show his true personality--making me feel that perhaps I was doing something wrong...it was very tough for awhile--because I loved him--but he rejected me.

Then, one morning, I woke up and he was out of his shell...he started walking tall, with his head high and his tail fluffy...he started meowing, and purring...and letting me love him and kiss on him...

And that was really when our relationship started. If you have read any of my other threads, or visited dylan's kitty page...you will see just how amazingly special he is to me.

The bond that we have now is so deep and so true that NOTHING can come between us.

He is my beautiful boy.

So, if it takes awhile to bond with your kitty...dont' fret...sometimes it takes them awhile to come out of their shell, and sometimes it takes us a while to share our feelings with them, if we have lots of babies to love. But you will find more than enough love in your heart for each of their special little personalities.
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