I have been away for a while...

I guess I should start explaining why on earth have I dropped out of the world so much lately.

I presume you already know on the depression I have.. or at least I am supposed to have.

It had slowly gotten very, very worse and bad to the point I wasn't sure if I would still be alive next week.

The symptoms got to the point of no return... I have started to have dizziness... being faint, blurred vision... and feeling on the verge of collapse. I am afraid I passed out already several times. Its almost like being drunk.

I have had my glucose tested and all the time I am below 80... in one case 60. This evening I almost passed out and had to take up something to eat, and got better although I was still feeling very, very bad. Last night I thought I was having a heart attack or something due to the palpitations. I am finding the pattern that if I eat something I get better but within half an hour I am already like fainting.

It would be a tad ironic if I ended up that I had a galopant hypoglicemia all along instead of depression... but many of the symptoms are alike... and that would explain why the ADs have only driven me over the edge. Or who knows, I may have both things... arrg. I will find out soon.

I am going tomorrow or tuesday to the doctor with luck. I guess I will most probably spend a while in the lab getting every darn blood test in the book... but I am feeling bad myself right now... dizzy.

Quite frankly I do not know what to do right now... its all so horrible and depressing.

Sorry for dissapearing for several days and now appearing only to complain and cry, but I am constantly lurking a bit around.

Victor, At least you are seeing the doctor, that's what counts. I know all of this is difficult (an understatment if there ever was one) but you have to try and stay focused and active. That is what I am trying to do since my recent hospitalization. I could have taken more time off from work, but it was imortant to keep going, even during the days I don't feel like getting out of bed. Try planning your day in small increments...not big stretches, otherwise it's overwhelming.

With LOVE
XXX000
Barbara

Hope the visit to the doctor will help. You are too young to be depressed!

From your post I'm assuming that you are aware that your blood sugar should be at or over 80....the fact that it's dipping down would definetly warrant a visit to the doctor! I'm glad that you are going.... One thing you can try in the meantime to see if this alleviates any of your symptoms is to eat something that has a fairly high amount of carbohydrates in it (bread, pasta, you know, the goooood stuff!), and follow that with some protein. The carbs will elevate your blood sugar and the protein will help keep it from dropping quickly. My bestfriend and boyfriend are both Type 1 diabetics, so I have a few years of experience with both high and low blood sugars! Let us know what the Dr. says. And yes, I would expect to get poked and have tons of labs run!
Take care and I hope that you will be feeling better soon.

It would be a tad ironic if I ended up that I had a galopant hypoglicemia all along instead of depression

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If it is hypoglycemia, its easier to treat than depression simply because they understand it better. Ask the technician if they could possibly use an iv line to draw blood, rather than poking you every hour.

Keep us informed!!

Sandy

you are in my thoughts i really hope you start to feel better soon

Sending lots of good vibes from Down Under, Victor.

Thanks y all...

I am having a breakdown right now... i dunno what to do,,,, i have just been crying for over an hour now wo stopping,.., i am just going nuts herem i no longer now what to do now.l

This day has been 'pure hell.... nightmarish,.. i just want to jump down a window...

i guess that with hwat triggered it its no surprise.

Oh, Victor, I've been wondering where you were - I thought maybe in the Dom Rep, as you mentioned going on vacation there. Sorry to hear that wasn't the case. I'm glad you're going to get some tests to see about hypoglycemia - the fainting/dizzy spells sound quite serious. If it's "just" depression, have you considered hospitalization? One of my students was hospitalized from Easter till last week, and is doing very well - she seems like a whole new girl! She said she got new medications, had group and private therapy, went on day trips with other patients, and feels that it was very worthwhile. That's saying a lot, because her parents had to "force" her to go.
I'm amazed to hear her laughing again, and motivated to do her schoolwork and go out with friends.

Originally Posted by yoviher

Thanks y all...

I am having a breakdown right now... i dunno what to do,,,, i have just been crying for over an hour now wo stopping,.., i am just going nuts herem i no longer now what to do now.l

This day has been 'pure hell.... nightmarish,.. i just want to jump down a window...

i guess that with hwat triggered it its no surprise.

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What triggered it, Victor? And if you feel like jumping out a window, go get a phone book, find a hotline, and call right now!!

Victor, I'm sorry but WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS??? If I had even half of the symptoms you say you are when I was 15, I would have been taken to the hospital right now! What you are describing is a medical condition, not depression. Maybe combined with depression, but not exclusive. Also, have you talked to your parents about your suicidal thoughts? This is SERIOUS, not something that you just don't tell them. If you can spill it to people you don't even know on a message board, you can certainly talk to the people who raised you.....

aw Victor :/
I'm sorry.

Hello then, My name is Denise and I am a severe hypoglycemic. poor baby, it does indeed sound to me like you're suffering from hypoglycemia,, or another problem related to food. there's another one that I can't bring to mind right nouw, but it's related to the body over metabolizing cholesterol. billy rubens or something like that.

Either way hon, I think you should tell your parents to take you to the doctor..

My parents didn't believe me until I passed out with palps and stuff in the middle of a shoppong mall.

Victor-
I am sorry but I have to agree with Heidi on this one. This is your health, it is very serious stuff. I think that you need to go and have a sit down with your parents and explain everything that you are feeling. Are they aware of all of the times you have passed out? If I had a child, or even so if my bf's son passed out, you better believe I would have him at the hospital in a heartbeat. You do talk very freely with us here, and we are not putting you down in any way for that, but honestly all we can do is advise you or give suggestions on what we know from what you have told us. You have given alot of info, but in the whole scheme of things it isn't much. We can't help you nearly as much as your parents and doctors can help. Victor your suicidal thoughts worry me, please I am begging you, go and get some help. You need to talk to someone who will help you get through this, whatever the cause may be. You are so young and I know you are scared, but I have faith in you, I know you can do it.

Victor, I so agree with Heidi! Stop messing around on a bulletin board and talk to your parents. Get help from whatever professional you need. If you were my kid you would be in a hospital somewhere until they found out what was going on. I can't (or maybe don't want to believe) that your parents are so uninvolved in your life that they wouldn't care? Do they even know you post here and even half of what you post?

Victor you do need to go to the hospital, and it sounds most urgent. If your parents are not able to go with you for whatever reason, have you an uncle, aunt,friend who would go? Please Victor get there as soon as possible, you are in a dangerous position. Do you also have Samaritans or Friends International over there to talk to about your suicidal feelings?

Ok... guys... First of all, I must say sorry... for having scared you by having such a long tongue and saying that. Sorry.

I shall admit Heidi, you were a bit rough there, but you are right, and honest.

My parents know of a depression. Yes. They don't know however, a lot of the bad thoughts... they know their bit, but not that much. But that isn't the main problem. The main problem is that they have a screwy idea of mental health, basically all the stereotypes that there can be (i.e. that you will snap out of it by thinking positively and all that crap like thinking a hospitalization means a straight jacket). They are heavily concerned on the idea I may have hypoglicemia and want to have me see the doctor on that... they are not uninvolved or that... they just don't know enough on depression to fully comprehend.

Tomorrow morning I will see the doctor, (they are forcing me to it on the dizziness and all that)... I will just throw it all and have the doctor explain fully what the heck is truly going on... they will listen.

Now, if you mind, I want to ask of you to stay calm... I know, that's impossible, but please, help me stay at ease that I haven't put you folks without sleep. I'm still and will get help. And I am feeling better right now... bad, but better.

Vic--take it easy! Pick up a kitten and squeeze it! It'll make you feel much better! Lay down with an ice pack over your eyes and take some deep breaths and stay off of here until you are back up and running! A few weeks without you on here, is way better than never seeing you on here again! Please take care of yourself and keep us updated...your body needs rest and make sure to get plenty of it!! Take care of you.

Originally Posted by yoviher

Ok... guys... First of all, I must say sorry... for having scared the crap out of you by having such a long tongue and saying that. Sorry.

I shall admit Heidi, you were a bit rough there, but you are right, and honest.

My parents know of a depression. Yes. They don't know however, a lot of the bad thoughts... they know their bit, but not that much. But that isn't the main problem. The main problem is that they have a screwy idea of mental health, basically all the stereotypes that there can be (i.e. that you will snap out of it by thinking positively and all that crap like thinking a hospitalization means a straight jacket). They are heavily concerned on the idea I may have hypoglicemia and want to have me see the doctor on that... they are not uninvolved or that... they just don't know enough on depression to fully comprehend.

Tomorrow morning I will see the doctor, (they are forcing me to it on the dizziness and all that)... I will just throw it all and have the doctor explain fully what the heck is truly going on... they will listen.

Now, if you mind, I want to ask of you to stay calm... I know, that's impossible, but please, help me stay at ease that I haven't put you folks without sleep. I'm still and will get help. And I am feeling better right now... like crap, but better.

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Victor, you have "revealed" yourself to strangers living hundreds or thousands of miles away. From what I've gleaned from your posts, your parents have always concentrated on giving you the best in education, opportunities, and care. They don't sound like uneducated "hicks" or "rednecks" to me, so, if you are having emotional or health problems, I can only suggest that you discuss them with your parents and /or the professionals they take you to. Long-distance diagnoses are of little or no use, and the vast majority of us are not mental or health care professionals. We can't drag you by the collar to a hospital to have blood tests - your parents can, if you don't do it of your own volition. People here can give you emotional support and attention, but little else. Call a hotline, talk to your parents, or check yourself into a hospital!

Amen-

This board cannot be responsible for anyone else's state of mind or mental health.

Please seek the guidance and professional help you need, and don't lean on a board of people who cannot help you because we are not in your real life, nor are we qualified to offer you the help you need.

I am glad to hear that you are getting into a Dr.s office tomorrow! Today would have been better, but tomorrow will do... I agree with all of the above. I realize that your parents may have old-fashioned stereotypes regarding mental health, but I do encourage you (as well as everyone who has posted!) to at least attempt to talk with them about this. Being 15 is tough on it's own without any depression issues. I wouldn't go back to my teen years if I had the chance! This is your chance to live free of your personal chains. If your parents won't listen or try to blow it off, I do encourage and support your decision to involve the Dr. you see tomorrow...People do tend to listen closer to a physician. Stay strong, and don't blame yourself! You can't help what you are going through. It's important that you understand that. No amount of "happy thoughts" are going to "cure" you. It seems that you have a pretty good grip on what depression entails, and you realize that therapy is a process, not an overnight magical cure. Hang in there, let us know how you're doing, but most important of all, try your best to be patient with yourself and understand as much as possible that what you're feeling is out of your control. I've dealt with depression in my past, as well as anxiety issues, and I've learned that you do have the strength inside of you to overcome these hard times. Hang in there! We're all thinking of you!