Our new kitten is NOT affectionate.

I read through the aggression sticky threads, and they addressed this somewhat, but I'd like your opinions, also.

Our new little Penny (10 weeks) is NOT affectionate AT ALL. You can't even pet her. She doesn't snuggle or rub up against me. All she wants to do is play, and when she plays she's agressive--biting, biting, biting.

We're still introducing her to our resident male--they're on opposite sides of a door still--so she has no playmate right now. And we're out of the house normal working hours (9-6 or whatever). Do you think she's lonely? Bored? Needs to burn off energy?

I just don't know what to do. She even bites my face in the middle of the night. I love her so much already and I want her to love us, too, but I can't help but think of the problems.

Thanks for any advice!

Katie

Katie, she probably was not introduced to people at the age as a kitten she needed to be. You are now her plaything, and that is why she is biting you. You can take some lemon juice and add it to your hand lotion bottle, shake well, and apply it to your face and neck right before you go to bed. She will steer clear of the citrus smell. When she bites you blow on puff of air gently in her face and tell her NO sharply.

I'm not a behavior expert, but it doesn't sound so unusual to me. I would worry about the opposite- a cat that was mopey and reclusive. Sounds to me like she's pretty happy in her new place, and still pretty curious about everything! I don't see the biting you are describing as aggresion against you or your family. This cat just doesn't really know that they shouldn't bite. When you watch two cats play, alot of their playing looks almost like they are fighting, and this cat is paying you a compliment of sorts by engaging you in play. The fact that they are even interacting with you is a signal to me that they are interested in you and comfortable around you. Right now your kitten probably sees limbs (by that I mean anything on the body- fingers, hands, arms, feet) as a toy, just as they would see another cats legs and tail if they were playing with them. (BTW- when my first cat was a kitten, he also seemed like a really mean little sucker! he was ROWDY! he would be across the room, then you see him get the "attack" pose- shaking his behind as if thats going to turbo boost him somehow- and then he would sprint as hard as he could across the room and attack your feet.)

The next step is for you to displace the association of limbs with "toys." When you do play with him, make sure its not using hands. Maybe get string, or start rolling balls across the floor. Those are pretty basic suggestions; you will have to experiment and see what gets him going. But the big point is changing his mindset. I think eventually the purring and snuggling will start, but maybe not as much as you are expecting or considering normal. Not every cat will end up being a "lap cat" but eventually your crazy little cat will find her own way of expressing affection for you, and you will just have to pay attention to her personality as it unfolds so you will know how to recognize it.

when i said get string, i should say something "stringy." be sure that if you are using string that you are okay with the kitten possibly playing with other stringy things, like your shoelaces. you cant yell at them for chasing one string and not another. They wont know how to differentiate which is appropriate and which is not. And make sure not to leave a string unattended- they can eat the whole thing and it can cause a bad blockage.

Is adopting another kitten his age out of the question? Kittens are so much better in pairs. Play fighting is normal for kittens and perhaps if he had a buddy who like his type of play he would reserve it for his buddy and reserve you for snuggles. Two are always better than one and if you're going to do it, now's the time!

Originally Posted by DiMa

Is adopting another kitten his age out of the question? Kittens are so much better in pairs. Play fighting is normal for kittens and perhaps if he had a buddy who like his type of play he would reserve it for his buddy and reserve you for snuggles. Two are always better than one and if you're going to do it, now's the time!

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I especially agree with this seeing as you have another older cat in the house. Eventually when you let these cats be together the kitten is going to do all of this stuff to your older cat which might really be annoying to him/her. I've had great luck with bringing in 2 kittens together because they tend to play more with each other than they do with the older cats.

-Monica.

We used straws to train our kittens not to bite. Any time they were nipping at our feet or hands, we would make whatever limb that was stop moving completely and immediately. Then we'd immediately blow a strong puff of air into their faces. This stops them dead in their tracks. We made sure there were straws EVERYWHERE and in our pockets. We'd whip out a straw and give it to kitty to bite and chew on. They learn pretty quickly. But it's really up to you to not allow your limbs to be playthings, and sometimes that's the hardest part.