How Do I Explain This To Haley?

As you all know, Haley is the toddler I nanny for. She comes to our place. She loves the cats and the cats love her. They treat her very gently and know that she's just a baby. They tolerate things from her that they never would from my fiance and I.

The problem is this...Haley sometimes is a little too "rough" with the cats when she's giving them "loves". For example, the other day she hugged Angel so tightly I had to make her stop because she was choking Angel! Angel was meowing and putting a paw on Haley's arm to push her away. I told Haley to stop and to; "Hug the kitty nicely". This has been happening a lot. I don't want to punish her because this isn't really a punishable behavior...she's just loving them. What can i do to teach her to be more gentle?

I'm sure you will have explained to Haley that it will hurt the cat, if she hugs too tight. Show her how you do it and ask her to do the same, then praise her. See it it helps. I am sure others will give you better advice, but this is the only thing I can think of.

Hi - New here, but have been lurking for a wee bit

My daughter is 10 and disabled. I've always had cats and my daughter is also very over-loving. She's also OCD, so getting her to stop behaviours is nearly impossible sometimes.

When she was younger we did the same thing trying to teach her to be nice to the kitty. It didn't work, so we had to make a rule until she was old enough to better understand.

Rule: Kitties only get loved with ONE HAND.

One hand can't pick up a kitty. One hand (of a small child) can't usually squash a kitty. With only one hand on it, a kitty is more likely to be able to free itself and get away.

I know it's not as fun as picking up a kitty and snuggling it, but it works and it's safe for both kitty and child. Even now, I have a 9 year old (who HATES to be held, although she's a total lap cat) and the rule still applies to her. One hand and one hand only.

Good luck!

I agree that you shouldn't punish Haley for her behavior, but you might trying rewarding her for being gentle with the cats. One way to do this would be to make a little star chart for Haley. Each time she can pet or hold one of your cats without causing it any discomfort, she gets a new star added to her chart. When Haley has a predetermined number of stars on her chart, she gets a nicer reward, and you just keep doing this over and over to teach her how to handle a cat.

I don't know Haley's exact age, so I don't know if she's old enough for a method like this to actually work.

DiMa

Rule: Kitties only get loved with ONE HAND.

One hand can't pick up a kitty. One hand (of a small child) can't usually squash a kitty. With only one hand on it, a kitty is more likely to be able to free itself and get away

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This is great and easy to understand.

I think one hand is good idea!

Haley will be 2 in July.

I didn't realize she is that young.

2 years old is old enough to understand only one hand

2 years old is old enough to understand only one hand

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That's true.