How can I discourage her fears?

I have a little kitty named Shadow. Ever since I got her as a kitten she's been a total scardy-cat.
I always have to drag her our from under something. She also HATES being picked up, and seems to really fear it.
However when I manage to find, pick up, and have her she calms down and transforms into a very sweet kitty.
She'll come out if nobody is around, but if you make any sudden movents she'll dash away even if she's relaxed.
And I really don't know why she hated being picked up so much. I'm as gentle as ever and my other cats certainly don't mind. She really dosn't trust people unless you force her too. It's like she needs to feel secure with you.
I've had her for 2 years and I thought she'd get over it but she still fears being picked up. She wails and tries to escape.
I've tried holding her for long periods of time but she dosn't change. She only trusts me if she knows she can't escape, then she becomes very loving.
It's like I have to trap her to make her feel secure.
Scardy-cat.

-Sarah of Borg

Sarah,

If she is hiding, leave her be. Don't drag her out against her will to satisfy the need you have to hold her and hug her. The quickest way to get a cat to relax around you and stop hiding, and want to be held is to ignore her. See to her basic needs, but don't pick her up, don't pet her unless she instigates contact, and if she headbumps you, then pet her while she is on the ground. Some cats simply do not like to be picked up, and if they weren't exposed to humans early on 4-5 weeks old, they have no way of accepting you because they don't understand you. Put your needs aside and just let her be a regular cat. If she hides, let her, don't peer in under the furniture to where she is hiding. If you know she is healthy, and she is using her litter pan- just pretend it doesn't matter if she is in the room or not.

If she is hiding say under your bed. Go in the room, sit flat on the floor away from the bed and read out loud softly for about 10 minutes. Then without getting close, toss some tasty treats under the bed and leave the room. Do this about once or twice a day for 2 weeks and you will see a difference.

Thing is, she's not my only cat so I can't tell if she's eating or using the little box, and if i didn't search for her now and then she wouldn't appear for days. I only see her if I look for her.
And she is comfortable being in the room with me as long as I ignore her. She's not afraid of my voice, but only if I move towards her.
I think it had more to do with the fact that her late brother used to chase her, whether she liked it or not, if he ever saw her not hiding. He was perfectly fine with people.
Funny thing is, she'll choose one of the bedrooms and stay there like 90% of the time. If she chose your room, she'll come out of hiding if your watching TV or something. In fact, she can be a pest and start demanding that you pet her and give her attention.
But even then she'll still be afraid if you come towards her too quickly.
She can't make up her mind
I guess I'll try to ignore her starting 2morrow and we'll see how long it'll take before I see her again.

-Sarah of Borg

Sarah, a couple of suggestions:


1, Try Cat Faeries online and see about blending Aspen, Rock Rose or Vervain. They are good about answering emails.

2, try http://www.littlebigcat.com/ Then to their Spirit Essence website linked to their homepage

Hope something here can help!