How can I convince him?

I used to want a SMALL little dog. But now I don't want any dogs, we are in an apartment so there isn't a yard. Plus with school and work I wouldn't be around to walk it. And I couldn't get my bf to agree to a little dog, I wanted a dachshund, but he wants a big rottie if we get any dog. He said "he doesn't want some little weenie dog" And we definately can't keep a rottie inside all the time!

After begging and pleading did not good, I finally bit the bullet and got a cat anyway. When the husband came home, I said to him, "I would like to introduce you to TC." He said, "Who's TC?" I pointed to the cat who was curled up on the couch and said, "That Cat." He fell in love with him immediately.

Thats the way to do it!!!. Straight to the point!

That is sooo funny. Maybe what I need to do is get his little boy involved in the pleading But again, I guess I shouldn't over do it, he did agree to my sweet little Dori!

i dont really know what you could do cuz ive also been beggin my bf for another kitten and hes having none of ot either

Tears always work here.

My mom grew up with dogs all her life. My dad had no animals in his life. We begged my parents for an animal. I remember when I was young (maybe 4?) we got a kitten free. We had the kitten for about a week and my uncle had to come get the kitten cause it got sick. We never saw it again.

When I was in highschool my sister just showed up with a kitten. She walked in the door with a box, opened it up, and out jumped Terazar. Mom promised Dad she would find a new home within a week. Dad buried her in the yard 15 yrs later.

Sometimes the surprise deed makes most sense.

Sandy

I dont know what to tell you either. When I was in high school there was a teacher that was giving away cats and was telling everyone he had to get rid of them or his father-in-law was going to shoot them. I of course took one and told my parents I found him sitting all alone on the edge of the road and was afraid he would be run over.

Sally came so unexpectedly that when my bf got home from work one day she was here. I sulked and told him if he knew anyone that wanted her to tell them they could have her, but to make sure they were caring and would love her as much as I already did because she had been out all alone in the cold for a long time and probably didnt think anyone loved her anymore. Yes, I laid it on thick. How could he possibly find her a home after that?

I have to agree with Hissy, it's his tough luck. Go get yourself another cat!! To me, if you have to beg and plead with your b/f, then maybe now is the time to also consider your relationship before it goes any further. Your b/f should understand that you love cats and he should be willing to show his love for you, by letting you have another. I didn't intend to be so blunt about this, but it almost sounds like he wants to be too controlling.

Here are my 2 cents worth - I have to agree 100% with Hissy and John...

Im so pleased that Im not the only one!

We have two cats, and I would dearly love another. Hubby said no, lets get a dog, so we did. I dont like dogs and I just couldnt get on with it, and I rehomed him. Im now back to begging my hubby for another cat. He says no......So I rang a man up today who has a litter ready in 4 weeks, and Im going to see them tomorrow!

My man loves me, and whatever I want I usually just get! He has the option to get on with it which he usually does!

Just go for it, If he loves you, which Im sure he does, then he should love what you love

I always feel it better to be honest though, rather than doing it behind his back - so I sat Hubby down tonight and just blurted out this cats story! He must have fallen for it as he is still talking to me

I don't agree. I think it's tough luck for both of you... if given that both of you didn't know how the other felt about cats before your relationship became what it is. -sounds like you have the classic case of hoping-he-will-change syndrome on top of that though. People have the right to be who they are. He should not have to live with cats if he doesn't like them. You should be able to if you want to, but I think both of you are being selfish here. However, don't think you should bow to him and let him have his way. You're at a crossroad, not a merger. Leave him be and choose a man who loves cats. (There are plenty of us who do.) You can have the best of both worlds, but not with him, comprende?

Katie
"AND SO SAY ALL OF US"

Originally Posted by Hydroaxe

I don't agree. I think it's tough luck for both of you... if given that both of you didn't know how the other felt about cats before your relationship became what it is. -sounds like you have the classic case of hoping-he-will-change syndrome on top of that though. People have the right to be who they are. He should not have to live with cats if he doesn't like them. You should be able to if you want to, but I think both of you are being selfish here. However, don't think you should bow to him and let him have his way. You're at a crossroad, not a merger. Leave him be and choose a man who loves cats. (There are plenty of us who do.) You can have the best of both worlds, but not with him, comprende?

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Whoa, I have not said that I could not live without a 2nd cat. I want one really bad and have had the "once he sees it he'll fall in love with it" attitude. But I did mention that he is a good guy and I would not leave him because of it. I have been making jokes about having a kitty just show up, but I mentioned that I wouldn't really do it, and I also mentioned that he did give in a give me Dori, she was even a Christmas gift. You are right about the fact that neither of us had cats in mind when we met, which is why I can be understanding of him not wanting to go along with it now, BUT I have been the one who has been very very accepting in many other situations. In relationships, especially when you truly love eachother there are some things that you give in on to make the other happy. I do it for him all the time, he does it for me..... once in a while When it comes down to it, I am not going to force him to deal with another cat. I am looking to convince him to give into me

squirltle i hope you have more luck than me, i have done nothing but beg my bf hes nit budging, no way but just because they say we cant, i dont know why people say to leave him, i think that is going a bit over the top

I agree...get your self a cat....

Sometimes you have to be deceptive to reach your goals. I shouldn't be recommending this, but.... Why not drop the subject for a number of weeks or months, and then have a friend/relative come by with a kitten? Lock Dori up so that she doesn't spoil things by objecting to the kitten right off, and give your boyfriend an opportunity to watch and interact with the kitten. Then, your friend could have major problems with an allergy/landlord/family member, and beg you to take the kitten? My niece has pulled this trick at least twice, and my sister and her s.o. fell for it. I haven't discussed the matter with my sister, and have no plans to.
But just a word of caution: At the moment we have an "only cat", but have plenty of experience with multi-pet households. Rosie has accepted Sophie, and Franz Maddie. That is not always the case. Twice we've had to divide our house in half, the first time because two male dogs wouldn't accept each other, and the second time because JC becomes homicidal (I'm not joking)when he encounters another cat. Dori might appreciate companionship, but then again, she might not, and could react to the "new addition" with aggression and behavioral problems. Does she see/encounter other cats, and how does she react? Might your boyfriend's objections be based on his evaluation of her personality?

I rather agree with Hydroaxe here, to a point. If he hates the idea of another cat so much he'd threaten you over it, well...

But then again, why is a second cat so much worse than one? I can imagine hating all cats, but not hating more than ONE in a home. When it's an unreasonable stubborness, it can often be worked on

As for rejection, rather unlikely as Dori seems to be a nice young adult cat. You have to take it slow and pick the right second cat, but it's likely to work out. Kitty seemed to hate other cats, and lived for three years as an only cat, but he was still young enough to accept a female older kitten. They're now the best of friends and he's so much happier. If you're worried, the shelter will know about the first cat and should be willing to take back the cat (in fact, a good shelter will insist on it) if that's the best option. But with Dori, that sounds unlikely.

Originally Posted by squirtle

Whoa, I have not said that I could not live without a 2nd cat. I want one really bad and have had the "once he sees it he'll fall in love with it" attitude. But I did mention that he is a good guy and I would not leave him because of it. I have been making jokes about having a kitty just show up, but I mentioned that I wouldn't really do it, and I also mentioned that he did give in a give me Dori, she was even a Christmas gift.

You are right about the fact that neither of us had cats in mind when we met, which is why I can be understanding of him not wanting to go along with it now, BUT I have been the one who has been very very accepting in many other situations. In relationships, especially when you truly love eachother there are some things that you give in on to make the other happy. I do it for him all the time, he does it for me..... once in a while

When it comes down to it, I am not going to force him to deal with another cat. I am looking to convince him to give into me

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You didn't say that you couldn't live without a second cat, but you did make it sound that way when you said you wanted one "soooo bad." You also never told us that he gave you Dori as a Christmas gift either, so how could we know he's the good guy you said he was? If that's the case after four years of begging, I think maybe he has already been fair enough and maybe you haven't given him enough credit. Convincing is something you do when someone says "maybe" or "I'm not sure" or "Hmmm... I don't know"... not when someone says "No way." Lying to him and orchestrating a series of events (if you choose to go that way) in an attempt to play on his feelings is called manipulation... not convincing. Would it be nice and considerate if he said yes? Of course, but he has already given you a solid answer. "...hoping he will change his mind." is the same as "hoping he will change" syndrome.

Originally Posted by jcat

Does she see/encounter other cats, and how does she react? Might your boyfriend's objections be based on his evaluation of her personality?

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I don't think his decision is an evaluation of her personality, because I don't think that he thinks it through that far As for Dori, she has been aroud other cats once since I have had her. I brought her for a visit to see her brother and sister who live with a friend of ours. I brought her over, and back then I didn't know about gadual introductions or anything like that. I brought her inside she immediately climbed up on the back of a high chair and would hiss at anyone if they went near her, except me. I don't know if she hated the other cats or if it was just a combo of being in a strange place, riding in the car- I didn't have her carrier then so she was just wearing her harness and leash (I would never take her out without her carrier now), there was also a dog there to.....