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Mum-in-Law on the Way? Here are a few hints!

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
Mum-in-law’s visit

When we are lucky enough to have a lovely mother-in-law, we look forward to her visits. No matter how much you love her there are some important rules. If you upset Mum you upset HIM. Here are the latest tips for that longed for day ……

DO remember to welcome her with a smile, even if you have just had a steaming row with her beloved son.

DON’T look shocked when you see an enormous dog stood next to her at the front door. He might be friendlier than he seems, even if he is growling. Maybe he just has wind.

DO speak nicely to the dog, and her, in case it isn’t wind; you may need your hands later.

DON’T forget to leave the front door open, to give your cat a quick get away. We have to help each other out at times like this.

DO feed him before anyone else. It is important to reinforce that he’s boss; even if it goes against the grain. You will be reinstated once he’s left.

DON’T shout at him when he wets the best rug. Half an hour’s scrubbing will soon fix it after they’ve gone.

DO send your children away for the day. This is in case they decide they want a dog ‘just like Nana’s!’

DON’T make a fuss when he chews up your best shoes. You will soon save up £50 for another pair. Remind yourself to put the next pair away before he arrives.

DO get plenty of air freshener in stock to disguise any accidents other than wet ones. After he’s gone it will only take another half hour’s scrubbing and disinfecting to get things back to normal.

DON’T worry if he sits 6 inches away from your chair at the dinner table, especially if he is staring into your eyes and drooling at the mouth. He only wants your dinner.

DO remember that if he sniffs your buttocks, you shouldn’t be embarrassed. It only means he likes you. In fact perhaps this is where you should let out a sigh of relief.

DON’T follow him into the back garden. There’s no use in getting upset at your prize plants being dug up, and thrown carelessly into that freshly dug hole in the new lawn.

DO remember to have lots of dog chewies in, unless you can afford to cook 3 full meals for the lot of you.

DON’T sit watching the clock, wishing it were nearly time for them to go. He might think it’s time to take you for ‘walkies’. This could turn out disastrous.

DO sound as if you mean it when ask Mum, and dog, not to leave it too long before they come back to visit.

DON’T smile when she says she is never coming back again, because you are totally intolerant.

post #2 of 27
post #3 of 27
post #4 of 27
Sounds like everything is under control
post #5 of 27
I dont think I have to worry about my mother in law visiting any time soon - she hates us with a passion (yes, she hates her own son, but then again, she hates all men ) So I think I am lucky!
post #6 of 27
You are lucky Kellye

My mother in law was an interfering busy body.

And my ex boyfriends mother hated the fact that he lived 4 hours away from her. I still say she had a part to play in our break up!. A very manipulating woman if ever there was one!!.

Off your soap box susan!!!
post #7 of 27
My Mother in Law is FAB!!!!!! (and no she doesn't read my posts ) She doesn't interfere, she always has time for me to visit and she has a cat..... What more could I ask for!
post #8 of 27
Thread Starter 
You couldn't ask for much more Rhian.
post #9 of 27
Your right there Cilla, it's lovely to hear that their are some nice ones. My husband loved my mum. She would always say "I wont interfere but you know where i am if you need me".

When we first got married, being new to it, if we bought anything new for the house, in my excitement i would ring my mum first to tell her, then ring my mother in law. My mum would be pleased for us, but all i used to get of the mother in law was "Why did you get that Sue, do you really need it?". It used to upset me that she couldn't be happy with me or give me any support being a newly wed.

At the finish i told her nothing!
post #10 of 27
post #11 of 27
Thread Starter 
Susan, I don't know why some MILs try to spoil everything. My MIL (when I was married first time around) was a horror. My second husband's mother had died when I met him, but she sounded brilliant, and I wish I could have met her.

I have always vowed to be a "good" MIL. I hope I'm living up to it!! My son has never been happier since he got married, so I have a lot to say thank you to my daughter in law, I will always be there for her.
post #12 of 27
Thats cool Cilla! If and when I become a MIL, I have learned what not to do from my experience with my own MIL!
post #13 of 27
Aww thats lovely Cilla.
post #14 of 27
Bah, I don't take my cat to people's houses when they visit and I don't let them bring their dogs to mine. It is rude and ill-mannered.
post #15 of 27
My "M-I-L" can't stand me. (We haven't married yet) She's never met me face to face, but she can't stand me. Loooooooooooooooooooong story.
post #16 of 27
I LOVE my MIL! she is so much fun! we go shopping, together, we talk on the phone, I adore her! her only downfall, she has dogs not cats! LOL! but she loves my cats so I'm happy!
post #17 of 27
Ok.... Obviously I am a tad too young to have any MIL, and I am not planning on having one in a while.... but trust me... If the day, when many years from now I get married my MIL is anything like that, trust me, we will be living in separate countries. A good 8 hour drive (preferably an 8 hour flight) and an international border crossing in the middle.
post #18 of 27
Too funny..It reminds me of the time my ex-MIL brought her dog over to the house. As soon as he walked in the door he hiked his leg and peed on a basket of clean laundry. Wasn't funny then, but it is now.
post #19 of 27
OH now that was funny!

post #20 of 27
Having had TWO MILs from Hell, I vowed to NEVER treat my sons' wives badly. Fortunately, Samantha is a smart, funny no-nonsense-from-Mark kind of gal.

I have a hands-off policy, with my grown kids. If they ASK for my opinion or advice, I give it. Otherwise, they're on their own. I play with the grandbabies and buy them goodies but would not dream of telling Mark and Sam how to raise them.

On several occasions, Sam has come to me for family medical history and stories about Mark's childhood. Naturally, Mark would rather that she not hear some of them. On the whole, I think that I'm a wonderful MIL.
post #21 of 27
Thread Starter 
Cindy, having ONE bad MIL is hell! How you went on with the second I can't imagine.
post #22 of 27
Originally Posted by Cilla
Cindy, having ONE bad MIL is hell! How you went on with the second I can't imagine.
Ah, the things one does, when one is young and libidinous!

MIL #1 had the nerve to come into MY home and proceed to tell my just what I should cook, how I should decorate and how to raise MY child. Once, on a camping trip, she threw a can opener at me.

MIL #2 offered me $10,000 CASH, to give her custody of Mark. She had already screwed up one son - did she think that I was going to let her screw up mine?

Since that time, I have tended toward men whose mothers are either dead or living clear across the country. According to Bill, HIS mother would have hated me, simply because she hated EVERYBODY. She died three months before I met Bill.
post #23 of 27
Thread Starter 
Cindy you were well rid of your MILs. Thankfully there are some wonderful ones about. One thing our furbabes don't have to worry about.
post #24 of 27
That was hilarious! Thanks Cilla!
post #25 of 27
And might I also note....I have been married twice and the best (and pretty much only) thing I miss about my first hubby is his parents...they were great, and I loved them to peices. I called them mom and dad for the 8 years we were married. But he was mentally abusive and staying with him was really not an option...but when we divorced, I cried like crazy...over losing his PARENTS! *sigh*
post #26 of 27
Thread Starter 
Debby, sorry you had to go through that. When I split up with my first husband I did not miss his mother, but I cried over his father, he was a brilliant man, and like a father to me.
post #27 of 27
My mother had more than her fair share of MIL problems, too. My dad's parents came to visit, twice a year and his mother would spend the entire week, raving about what a wonderful person his first wife was and how much she loved her. Needless to say, this did not endear her to Mom or my dad. If B__ was such a wonderful person, my dad would still be married to her!

In addition, MIL would start right in, cleaning Mom's house. Mom put up with it, for 10 years, in order to keep the peace. My dad hadn't said anything because Mom hadn't. Finally, Mom blew and told the old biddy off and said that, if B__ was so great, MIL should go inflict herself on HER, twice a year. MIL promptly faked a heart attack (too much "Sanford & Son). Mom knew she was faking but, called paramedics, anyway. When THEY found out that she was faking, the captain royally reamed her. Someone in real need could have died, while they were dealing with her histrionics. Through all of this, Pop backed MOM, to the hilt.

Mom and I always felt sorry for Grandpa. He was such a nice man and never bothered anyone. If he could/would have visited without her, everything would have been fine. She was always so nasty and hateful to him, too.

Having both had awful MILs, Mom and I never dump on our kids' spouses. Mom hasn't liked most of them but, she won't interfere.
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