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I am in a state of shock!

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
My good friend has killed his girlfriend - I found this out last night! I am of mxed emotions because I really did not expect this of him. I am still trying to find out what happened but news is slow. We did try dating each other a long time ago but it didnt work, but remained really good friends as we were better friends than together.

I thought about writing to him to see if he is okay, as I cannot see why he would kill her, but I have been told I shouldn't. I am still not sure. I really can't believe it, I have been in a stunned state of mind since last night, I cannot really absorb it.
post #2 of 30
Oh jeez, Kellye. I'm so sorry to hear.... for you today.
post #3 of 30
Oh my! I am so sorry to read this. Sometimes this world seems a little to crazy and out of control-
post #4 of 30
OMG how awfull!.

I really don't know what to advise in your situation?.

Me being me, i would be wanting to get in touch to find out if he's ok, and as to what happend, but would they let you if he's been arrested?, if he has been that is?.

Sending you hugs in the meantime, but keep us informed
post #5 of 30
Kellye, I am so sorry to hear this - Sometimes the craziest things happen. to you.
post #6 of 30
Thread Starter 
The last I heard, his girlfriend didnt turn up for work for 4 days and then he called the cops himself and said he needed help and the cops went around to their apartment and he asked to be handcuffed and they found her body - it had been there for about 4 days.

Someone told me that he had a problem with jealously, I am still trying to find out.
post #7 of 30
Oh my, I would be in a state of shock myself. My heart goes out to you as I know it must be very hard, and you must be running question after question through your mind. I think you should go with writing the letter if it's something you feel that you need to do. Even writing it out will allow you to get it all out and come to terms with what happened. I dealt with a situation 2 weeks ago, my uncle died and there was an investigation into his death and suspicions that his new wife murdered him. Murder is an ugly word and very hard to deal with no matter what side of it you are on.

Another thing to keep in mind, especially since this is a close friend of yours, is to try and get all the facts. I don't know the circumstances surrounding the incident, and of course don't know the people involved, but is it possible he is innocent? If it is possible, it would be important to him to feel that someone believes in him. But again, I don't know him or the situation.

I am so sorry for the news and we are all here for you
post #8 of 30
How sad!

Jealousy can be a nasty and hurtful.

Without knowing the full ins and outs i feel sorry for him as well as the girl, because not only does he have what he did on his mind but suffered 4 days himself before plucking up the courage to ring the police.

The mind can be a funny thing when it snaps!.
post #9 of 30
Oh Kellye, how awful. Thinking of you...
post #10 of 30
god this must be so hard for you, im truely soory to hear what has happened
post #11 of 30
So true Rosie.... I feel pity for both of them. I can't imagine the courage it must have taken for him to go to the police.
post #12 of 30
VICTOR: I always put myself in someones shoes and think 'how would i feel?'.

I'd panic!.

The poor man.
post #13 of 30
OH my, I'm soo sorry to hear this! I will be feeling for you Kellye. I wonder what prompts people to do this to the people they love? My father in law's friend and neighbor and my husband's brother's good friend also did something similar, shooting his wife and mother of his two sons. We also wonder, "Why?"
Hugs to you.
post #14 of 30
(((((HUGS))))) I'm sorry to hear about this.
post #15 of 30
Oh how horrible. You're in my thoughts. I can't even image how difficult this must be for you.
post #16 of 30
Kellye, that's horrible! Whatever happens, he'll need your support, i.e. contact, in the months and years to come, since you know the person behind the "monster" he'll probably be portrayed as. It's difficult to understand how things can go so wrong. Sorry you have to go through this.
post #17 of 30
How sad!

Many to you.
post #18 of 30
Kellye I am so sorry. What a terrible shock. Sometimes a person's mind gets so fogged up and people can act entirely out of character. It so sad. Follow your gut feelings Kellye.
post #19 of 30
Someone told me that he had a problem with jealously, I am still trying to find out.
Kellye, this is so horrible!!!! I don't know what to tell you either, but if your friend has a problem with jealously it makes me think he could have killed his girlfriend accidently by pushing her during a fight or something.

P.S. Read your pm's.
post #20 of 30
I'm sorry to hear that..
post #21 of 30
Oh no, Kellye, how awful. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you to deal with so suddenly! Please feel free to discuss your feelings with your friends here at TCS. Sometimes it can really help to express how you feel, and we're all here for you! Stephanie
post #22 of 30
Oh no Kellye what horrible news. I'm thinking of you at this time.
post #23 of 30

I'm so sorry to hear this. You are in our thoughts as well as her family.
post #24 of 30
Kellye, how awful -- for you, for him, for her! Words fail me.
post #25 of 30
Thread Starter 
I have just found out that his charges have been increased to first degree murder. Which indicates that he may have had to do some thinking before he did it - I don't know if he confessed all to the cops, but now I have decided, it may be better for me not to contact him right now. I am so sad that a friend of mine could do this.
post #26 of 30
That's rough Kellye, I am so sorry
My prayers and thoughts are with everyone involved
post #27 of 30
Originally Posted by rapunzel47
Kellye, how awful -- for you, for him, for her! Words fail me.
my thoughts exactly...

*hugs* Kellye - my thoughts are with you at this time. I could not even imagine to think what your going through - chin up!!
post #28 of 30
Oh Kellye, I"m so sorry...I wish I could say more but what can you say to something like this??? You are in my thoughts, stay safe....
post #29 of 30
Kiwideus-do you really think it would be better not to contact him? Maybe if you think of how you would feel. Apart from the fact that he has does a horrendous thing by killing his girlfriend he must be feeling very very alone and completely devestated. You know this guy well enough to call him a good friend so I would take it that he feels the same about you. He may feel totally abandoned by his family and friends (I am only guessing here as I dont know). People do all kinds of completely insane things for whatever reasons but maybe if you got in touch just to let him know you are thinking of him at this time etc. You dont have to say much, just to be there.
Just a thought
post #30 of 30
I wouldn't try to contact him. He's in custody and if you try to contact him the police might think you are interfering or you are included in this murder and start in on you as a suspect.

Take care of yourself.

R.I.P. Kiwideus's friends late girlfriend.
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