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I just needed to talk...................

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Hi everyone. I just am feeling really low today. this is the anniversary of my Siamese cats death. He had FIP and we didn't know it until we had him and Twig(our other 2 year old baby) neutered and then he got sick and so they kept him for about a week. They told us that he was running a fever and that he couldn't go home until that broke. He finally got to go home for a week before his liver shut down and he got Jaundice and on this day in 1999 we had him put to sleep. Don't let anyone fool you, if you never had this done before, it is very hard and can lead to a depression and the questions like, did i do everything possible? and what if I never had taken him into get him neutered??? Sorry if I upset anyone, I just somehow knew that you all would understand, I just needed to let it out before I went crazy trying to not let it get to me......
Why does it hurt so much after so long???????
post #2 of 11
Hi there. You ask why does it hurt so much? I don't know, other than we miss them and when someone passes with an illness that you are in charge of treating so to speak, you question if you did everything. I do that too. My muffin passed July 7th of last year... from lymphoma. Sunshine passed away the Friday after Thanksgiving 1996 from heart failure. Both were very young cats. It still hurts... with both. It seems that I'm going to endure this pain very soon again with my Chloe... it hurts just to think about it and preparing yourself.

I think that the pain in a way is a good thing. At least I try to look at it this way. It's tugging at my heart strings... There is a story that made me cry, but helped me overcome some of the pain. If you would like, let me know if you want to read it. If you do, I will post it under your thread ok?

Just remember, it hurts to let someone go, but when its your time to go, your kitty will be there to greet you. That keeps me going at times like these.

post #3 of 11
Thread Starter 
Please feel free to post it here. I am glad that someone knows what I am going thru. and I am sorry for all your losses..............
post #4 of 11
Hello Barb,
I am so sorry to hear that your sad.
I can't relate to losing a cat but 2 yrs. ago this past April I had to put my 16 yr. old dog to sleep. Her name was Renee and she was just so precious to me. Her health was not good due to cataracts, seizures and heart problems. When I saw the quality of her life no longer there. I had to make the decision to put her to sleep..I will never forget that day and the lonliness I felt without her with me and I still do.
All I can say to you is, it hurts a lot
because you loved him... love hurts, but thank God you were there for him. There are some animals who have diseases and no loving arms to even hold them.
For me I treasure my photos and the memories of Renee. It is those things I keep close to my heart.
I'm sure my Renee and your cat are exchanging stories of us, their owners, at the Beautiful Rainbow Bridge.

post #5 of 11
Barb, it is perfectly normal to grieve and to relive the sadness around the date of their crossing over. Different people deal differently with the loss. If you feel that it will make it easier for you to share some stories about your baby here, than please do!
post #6 of 11
Oh Barb.....I understand what you mean love.... I've lost two angels, and the ache in my heart when I think of them is something I just can't explain.... my first one, Tetley, was only 6 months old when he was hit by a car - it didn't kill him but to put him right would have cost us a fortune - which I would absolutelty have paid if there had been any possible way....the vet said that even if they did operate it was only 50/50 whether he would survive or not, and even then he would probably not make a full recovery and need medication for the rest of his life....so, we saw that the only kind thing to do would be to put him to sleep...but god was it hard... and then just a while ago, I lost a tiny baby that had only been with me for a week....

The only comfort I can give is that they are at the Bridge making plenty of friends and taking good care of each other - all healthy and full of mischief just as they left us... I really hope you start to feel better soon.

:angel2: :angel2: :angel2: :angel2:
post #7 of 11

I am so sorry for your loss

Have you thought of an animal bereavement group?.. I have known friends who have joined, and it helped them immensely.
Also, I met someone at the shelter I volunteer at who had to put his kitty down because of FeLV, and was in therapy. He was at the shelter, as part of his therapy, giving to the kitties who don't have anyone. He said it helped him.

This may make you feel better or worse, it is different for everyone. Everyone has different coping mechanisms for grief. But I thought I would throw out these suggestions for you to consider.

I wish you much love and healing.

post #8 of 11
Dear Barb,I,m so sorry for your loss,I really understand,even though it is over 16 years ago,I still miss my tabby cat Billy.

We love our animals so much,they are part of our family and it really dose hurt when they have to leave us,I hope you can take comfort in knowing that when our pets have crossed over,they are happy at rainbow bridge

Love Jackie and Felix
post #9 of 11
Indeed, anniversaries can be most difficult times! Please accept my condolences. Not a day passes but that I recall with extreme longing my lost feline friends: Guido, Camille, Rita, Sesheta, Ricky, Mr. Cat. They are now in a better place, devoid of suffering; yet how I wish we could all be together! Some day, of course, we shall be.

post #10 of 11

I wish I had some magical solution to offer you to make the pain go away. Unfortunately, I don't know or I would use it myself. But I think that it's better to feel pain then don't feel anything. It means that our furbabies have been loved and cherished...

I don't know how to cope with the pain of losing a furbaby, but I do know that it helps to share the pain and the stories of them with someone. It may be friends, or it maybe here on the Catsite. It helps too of thinking of the happy memories they have left us...

Easier said then done of course ... I still find unbearable the thought that my Cleo has been gone for a month.

Barb, healing is slow but it will come... My heart is with you...

post #11 of 11
Barb....I am so sorry to hear about the pain you are going through....I do understand.....when I first joined this site, back in November of last year, I had this beautiful cream colored long haired cat, named Fluffy....she disappeared the day after thanksgiving.
I remember posting on here about how worried I was that Fluffy was missing....and there weren't very many members then, but I remember Anne trying to make me feel better, and her words of encouragement really helped me alot!!
I never did find out what happened to Fluffy until this spring...I didn't post about it, it seemed to sad to tell....
I never would have known if it weren't for my stepson....who told me secretly, and made me promise not to tell that he had told me...(he was 10 then) that he had overheard my brother and my husband talking, and they had found Fluffy down in and old well, that was covered with cement, but it had a hole just big enough for a cat, and Fluffy had fallen in and drown. They discovered it this spring when the water unthawed. They didn't want me to know, because they knew it would hurt me. But I was glad Blake told me...because at least I didn't worry that maybe poor Fluffy had been torn apart by coyotes, or starved to death...at least I knew. It still hurts, and I will think of it this year at Thanksgiving. So I do understand....but I think we just need to focus on the good times we had with them, and how much they loved us, and we loved them, and they are in heaven now. I hope you feel better soon, I wish there was more I could do.

*oh, I just wanted to add, that I took a brick and sealed the hole in the well up, so none of my other babies would meet the same fate....of course I had to be sure it really was Fluffy, so I looked...bad decision.
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