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I miss my family

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
I am 23 and about a year ago last May my family moved to Oklahoma. I didn't think it would bother me that much but it has - I really miss them. My fiance and his family are here but it's just not the same. This last Thanksgiving was the first one I spent away from them and I was so sad I cried. Does it get easier with time? I kinda feel like I am being a baby about this but I can't help it! I feel like I should just except this as a part of growing up - should I. Did/Do any of you experience this? What do you do about it?
post #2 of 14
No, It doesn't get easier, you, well I, just sort of get on with things and occasionally get all meloncholy and stuff. I didn't even have a very close family, and I still miss them..

post #3 of 14
I spent seven years in Germany w/ my husband. We owned a business there, and I worked for the US Government at the Air Force Base credit union. I am no stranger to Missing Family!!!!!!!!!! I come from 5 brothers/sisters and we are all very close. And my parents are my best friends!! I will say though, I grew up very quickly when there was nobody to run to in crisis!! I learned to cope with things on my own, and now I think I am a much stronger person. I don't think it will ever be "easier" for you, but with time you will adjust and you will be fine. Just try to look forward to visits, phone calls, emails, etc. They all help ease the lonliness. Good luck. Feel free to email me privately if you need a listening ear. ddtolle75@earthlink.net I know how you feel from first hand experience! Take care. ps. I left the US when I was 19 and returned at 25. I've been back here for 1 year, and am enjoying my family thouroughly now! Making up for a lot of missed time. :tounge2: :tounge2: :daisy: :daisy:
post #4 of 14

You are not a baby. Getting homesick for your family is natural. I'm 48, live in Connecticut with what is left of my family (1 aunt, 3 cousins - never hear from them) (1 brother-Massachusetts - never hear from him) (1 aunt - New Mexico - talk to her at least once or twice a month). One daughter - lives 15 minutes away from me, calls me ALOT! Imagine living within a reasonable distance from all of your family and not hearing a word from any of them. Now THAT'S sad!!

"God created good friends to apologize for bad relatives."

post #5 of 14
Sfell.....your feelings are completely normal!! I hope you can get the chance to see them all soon, and maybe not feel so bad!

Donna.....I am sorry to hear that your remaining family is so uncommunicative, for lack of a better word....all I have left of my family, since all my grandparents have died, and both my parents, are my 3 brothers.....if it weren't for the one who lives close to me (only 3 miles away) I would feel so alone!!! My other brothers, (one lives in Kentucky and one in Colorado) are wonderful, but they have their own lives, and I rarely hear from them...and don't see them much.
post #6 of 14
All I can say is that it does get a little easier with time. Every one of my family members lives in CA where I lived from birth until 2 years ago. The first year was the worst, I spent some nights crying, holidays crying, birthdays crying. I e mail and call home quite a bit. I also make it a point to try and fly home at least once a year for a few weeks. This year it has been easier on me. I still miss home, and will even watch the LA news from time to time, but I have found friends and things to keep me busy. I hope it gets easier on you as well
post #7 of 14
It's sometimes hard. My husband and I moved away from our family and friends 4 years ago. I thought it would be ok and with family and friends visitng I'd be fine. I was up until recently when I really realized that I miss going to my cat shows and having family around for the holidays. My husband realized that I was upset and when he asked what was wrong and I told him, we decided to move back. Although I will not be back in New York, we're moving to Connecticut. My family lives in Jersey and my mom is also my best friend. Rene, my husband and myself are looking at a 2 family so that my husband and I can live in one of the apartments and the other will be for Donna. I'm sure it will be ok for you but for me, I broke down. I now can't wait to go home. We should be leaving the westcoast the week between Christmas and New Years. My husband is giving up a great job, but he said that my happiness is more important. Now that's what I call a husband who loves me.

post #8 of 14

I don't know if it gets easier, but it gets to be normal after a while. I was orphaned at 19 so I don't have much choice about seeing my folks, but I have accumulated good friends that almost make up for it.

Keeping busy made a big difference for me. I took a night class, joined a women's club and a health club, went to the bible study at my church, etc. Add in a job and household chores and my time was pretty full.

A friend of mine, whose family all live in different states as well as some in Mexico, says that when she got married her husband didn't realize the phone was a necessity and the size of the bill was not negotiable! Now that they have internet it's lower, but still . . .

Keeping in touch helps, but waiting by the phone will make you miserable. It's hard to be separated, but dwelling on it will make you lonely. Try occupying yourself with local friends. They won't replace your family but good friends are valuable too.
post #9 of 14
Sfell, I don't know whether it gets easier or not either - but I hope it does! I got married just over a year ago and moved away from my family - it was really hard to do as I'd always been close to them - but we didn't really have a choice as my husbands work was here and the property was much cheaper too.... I totally understand what you mean about having your fiances family around not being the same as having your own around - I feel like that all the time, I would love to be able to just pop round to see MY mum at lunch time, or nip into town with MY sisters....as much as I get on with my husbands family I still really miss my own....We do talk on the phone and occassionally we'll go visit them - but not very often as it is expensive (and we're strapped for cash at the mo..) I've also cried many times - especially at "family gatherings" where Im not actually related to anyone there! (except hubby of course!) some days are worse than others, but I agree with sunlion - when you're busy it helps, it's those times when you're sat alone in the house with nothing to do that are the worse.... still, I guess things must get easier with time or no-one would ever move away!

Seriously though, if you ever want to talk - just email me!! (Im good at commiserating you know! )

Try to think positive hun!
post #10 of 14

Dear Sfell :angel2::daisy:

To be quite honest, for me, it didn't get easier at all. I was away for a little over five years. I did go home now and again, however; it was very disturbing. I worked practically all the time, went to the gym, and church on Sundays. That was my life for five years. Oh and a huge phone bill

What you feel, in my opinion, is what any reasonable person would feel. It's very sad to hear many of the members situations. I do hope you feel better Sfell...Sunlion had a lot of good ideas and ways to keep busy.

Love, Peace &
post #11 of 14
Thread Starter 
I really appreciate all of your responses - thanks! I mostly get sad and lonely around the holidays and when big stuff is going on like planning my wedding. Planning our wedding hasn't been very fun since I can't run over to my parents house and say "oh what do you think of this or what do you think of that." Also, my dad got really sick with his second kidney infection in two years and the doctors are a little concerned because that is odd for a man. Later this month my little sister is having a large fybroid cyst removed. I just wish I could be there for this kind of stuff because I worry. I know they miss me a lot too because they always make hints that I should move to Oklahoma. I wouldn't mind moving to Oklahoma but we can't afford a big move like that and my Fiance is really close to his family too. His parents are much older than mine (his older brother is the same age as my father) and he is really close to his siblings (they all work together). It's just more convenient for now to stay here in Houston. I just have to learn to cope
post #12 of 14
I know how you feel. I have my mother and her husband who live 15 minutes away. I only see my mother once or twice a week. I hardly speak to my brother or sister. I am going to be 28, my sister Diana will be 21, and my brother will be 14. I don't miss them really. I don't know why. But I have two aunts and their families(my father's side) and one uncle and his wife(mother's side) living in San Antonio Texas. I have another aunt(father's side)in California. I speak to one aunt everyday through the messenger. We send each other mails. In Mexico, I have my father, my grandfather(from father's side), grandmother(from mother's side, and several aunts, uncles, and cousins. I also have two brothers and two sisters all younger than me. I get very homesick and I dream every night that I am with them. I do get to talk to a couple of my cousins through messenger, but I want to see them.
post #13 of 14
Sabra - Be thankful that you have a relationship with your family that you can miss. My husband's childhood was pretty awful, and we live about 6 hours from his mother, and I can honestly say that he doesn't miss her a bit. He talks to her on the phone about once every 2 weeks, and we visit every once in a while, but they're by no means close emotionally. Actually, she drives him bonkers.

On the other hand, I'm very close to my mother and father. I had a great childhood, and love them very much. Unfortunately, my husband and I had to move to the Dallas area to find work after we were married, and now, 10 years later, we're settled here. My parents live 3 hours away in Austin, and they'll never move up here. So, I end up calling my mom every day, at least once, sometimes as often as 3 or 4 times. We're great friends, and I love to visit them. I often take the kids down to their house for about 5 days at a time. I'm very thankful for our close relationship. But I still miss them all the time, and I do wish we lived in the same town. I'm glad we're only 3 hours away.

Don't feel bad about missing your family. I've been out of the house for almost 15 years now, and I still miss them!
post #14 of 14
I think it is natural to miss what we do not have - I still have one sister and 2 brother all within 1 hr of each other - see my sis regularly and talk daily - the boys, well....at the annual family reunion and a call now and then - they seem to be busy with their own lives. mom and dad are gone and that was the glue that held us all together.
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