HELP!! What kind of kitty best companion for MY kitty?

Frances is a 1 yr old male neutered cat. I'm gone a lot, so I wanted to get him a "companion kitty" to play with. He has NEVER been around other cats so I wasn't sure what kind to get (younger male, older male, younger female, etc.). I have a 4 yr old neutered male right now on "trial run" from a friend. I've had him for 2 weeks. He wants to be friends with Frances, but Frances hates him. I thought the male/male dynamic might not be a good idea, was thinking of getting a 3 - 6 mo. old spayed female. Any ideas on what would be a good companion for a spoiled, I'm-the-boss alpha male cat??? Any advice would be appreciated...I have to make a decision on the "trial run" kitty ASAP!!!

I wouldn't rush a companion kitty just because you think your cat might be lonely. Depending on how much he is alone during the day is certainly a factor, but introducing him to other cats as visitors, is just going to put him on the defensive. If you do decide to get another cat for him, make sure you keep them separated for awhile. But again, borrowing other cats for him to "test" doesn't always work out.

If he has toys, and cat condos, and cat ramps, and things to amuse him during the day and isn't moping and avoids you when you come home, he may be perfectly happy being a solo cat.

Here is an article that might help you should you decide to bring in another feline friend

http://www.thecatsite.com/cat_behavi...oducing%20Cats

Yeah, cats aren't people. He may be happier than you think. I debate getting another for my cat, but I do know he's a pretty happy guy. He likes his life and having the place to himself, and I am his property. He sleeps a lot during the day and plays at night.

Another thing to do when introducing cats I read--and I followed this advice when introducing Robin to Kitty--is to switch rooms. They can smell the entire room that the other cat was in, and it's supposed to reduce territoriality, so it's not like each cat thinks they have their own room to defend. When they seemed ready to meet, we also cracked the door open, so they could paw at each other but not see each other completely or do more than paw. (There was a bit of upset vocalizing at this stage, but some is normal.) Only when they would calmly sniff at each other, or paw playfully through the crack, did we open the door completely.

Kitty was 3 and neutered; Robin was about 8 months and spayed when we got her. He was "lazy," had some "dominant" behavior (ie biting for food), but was fearful of most things. She was friendly, energetic (but not too much--very young kittens often annoy older cats who don't want to play constantly), and especially liked humans but didn't seem to have close friends at the shelter. It took about 2 days for them to be best buddies. And Kitty is a lot happier now. He'd play with toys once in a while, but usually wasn't in the mood or would get bored; many times I felt stupid trying to get him to play, running around with the Cat Charmer or something with him just lying there with nothing but his eyes moving after the toy Now he and Robin wrestle and chase each other often, and when one's in the mood but the other's not, there's still the toys. Sometimes they even play with the same toy together ^^ Kitty used to eat catnip but was never enthusiastic about it; after Robin came, we caught him rolling in it. He was nice about letting us pet him, but after Robin came, we heard him purr (he used to only do that with food).

Now, I don't think every cat will have this much of a positive change with another cat around, but there's a lot of anecdotal advice about cats not getting along with new ones, so hopefully mine will balance it out. In most cases, it's likely the new cat was just dumped in the middle of the living room, anyway--with this kind of introduction, it's not hard to figure out that they'll dislike each other.

Many people believe domestic cats are still like African wild cats and solitary animals, but if you observe ferals, they're usually in colonies, not separated by several miles each. Dr. Dodman even describes the social structure of cat "packs"--alpha, middle class, pariah. I think that like dogs, cats are happiest with the options of feline AND human company. Most cats dislike change in general, and if they're used to not being around other cats for a long time (say, a 12 year old who has lived in the same household all his life with no other cats), they may just hate other cats, but I think those who aren't too set in their solo cat ways can benefit from a companion.

The thing is to go slow, observe, and give each enough space and time. You'll probably think it's all worth it when you see them napping together or grooming each other ^^ If both cats are spayed/neutered, sex probably doesn't matter that much, but he may find a female easier to accept. And try to get a cat with a similar energy level, a bit younger (less threatening), but outgoing and friendly. Too dominant a cat might fight, but a shy one might be picked on forever. If you go to a shelter with enough resources for good adoption counseling, they'll probably advise you well.

I hope this helps!

Originally Posted by Weatherlight

When they seemed ready to meet, we also cracked the door open, so they could paw at each other but not see each other completely or do more than paw. (There was a bit of upset vocalizing at this stage, but some is normal.) Only when they would calmly sniff at each other, or paw playfully through the crack, did we open the door completely.

Click to expand...

I recently introduced a 5-6 year old neutered tom tabby (which I've had for 2-3 years) and our new companion, a 1-2 year neutered old tom tiger doing the same technique. Both cats are sweet as sin, so there wasn't much aggression from the get-go. I did the door thing at first, and when there was no hissing I figured they would be ready to meet. They haven't been separated since, and the initial separation only lasted 6 hours!

I think the fact mine were both declawed (not my choice, and even more coincidence with the newest cat as the adoption agency didn't even know he was) took away their main 'mess with me, get THIS' weapon... seems both are in a more submissive role, though the older cat is still 'in charge'.

It's been 4+ days and they play with each other and rarely do I hear any howling, hissing, or yelping. Sometimes the new guy gets a little too rambunctious and my older tabby tells him to back off, but other than that they are doing MUCH better than I would have guessed (had the same concerns as you about introducing a new companion into the home).

Mileage may vary, each cat and combination is different and all animals have a level of unpredictability. The older tabby wasn't very affectionate toward me in the first few days (was obviously rather upset by the new presence), but has warmed up to me again (cuddle some last night). be sure to give your existing cat some EXTRA attention and don't scold him. Jealousy is a powerful emotion for cats in this scenerio.

BTW, this was an awesome article:

http://www.thecatsite.com/cat_behavi...oducing%20Cats

Thanks hissy! (I'm glad I already knew enough of these tips so I didn't learn ther hard way, but there were some items I didn't know)...

If you are getting a new cat, one of the biggest determining factors in how they will get along is how you do their introduction. Slow and careful are the key things to remember for that.

I would not worry as much about whether the new cat is male or female, but would focus more on the personality of the new cat. I have two males and a female, and the two males became friends a lot faster then my first male and the female.

You have an opportunity now to see your cats personality in relation to other cats with the 'loaner cat' you have now, so I would use that information in helping to find the right permanent companion. If your cat is dominant, I'd try to find a more submissive cat so there won't be battles over who's in charge. I'd also try to find a cat that matches yours in energy level. You don't want to try to pair a tired lazy cat with a hyper kitten!

If you adopt a companion from a rescue where the cats live in foster homes, they will know the personalities of their cats very well, and should be able to help you match your guy up with the perfect friend. Good luck!! Two cats are definitely better then one.

It's also good to find a companion that is close to the age of your existing cat...and definately give it time....you don't automatically warm up to a stranger and neither do cats...so let them have a chance to get "used" to each other first.

http://www.pawschicago.org/PetCare/catintroductions.htm

Katie

Thanks, guys!!! Well, the new cat is 3 or 4 years older than my cat and very submissive and friendly (while around other cats mine is uptight and hissing, or even around other people he doesn't know)...I think that he might be a loner. He doesn't *seem* sad, is very active, very lovable. The "loaner" cat I have right now is being picked up by my friend today

stoopid>>>I don't think declawing makes cats submissive. These anecdotes seem to show that declawed cats tend to be loners, actually:

http://declaw.lisaviolet.com/questions.html

Have to remember that declawed cats have teeth, and they tend to use them much more.

Originally Posted by Weatherlight

stoopid>>>I don't think declawing makes cats submissive. These anecdotes seem to show that declawed cats tend to be loners, actually:

http://declaw.lisaviolet.com/questions.html

Have to remember that declawed cats have teeth, and they tend to use them much more.

Click to expand...

Thanks for the link, I've seen some of this behavior in my 2 males...