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Non-cat likers drive me crazy!

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
I should have known me getting cats would be a never ending ordeal My whole family either truly dislikes cats or is very allergic to them. So both ways mean they really did not want me to get cats. I didnt really care a whole lot what they think because most of them only come by a couple times a year. Well, since Ive gotten my cats my sister has avoided my house like the plague (not been by since last summer). My dad comes by but incessantly complains about the cats and makes grimaces and yucked out faces all the time

Then the worst possible scenario happened. Its never happened before or since but Im embarrassed about it and now both my dad and stepmom are avoiding my house. They finally came by for a very nice visit. We were in the living room (far away from any litter boxes, that I had scrubbed totally clean so they smelled fresh for the visit) and DD looked under the couch for some reason. Makes me wonder if she did this since it seems so coincidental. But she pulled out a cat turd! EWWWW! Yes, I was grossed out by it because even though I adore my cats Im really finicky about their litter box stuff and touching their poop, etc. It was not fresh. I dont know how it got there, but when I told DD to drop it she threw it at my stepmom (by accident) and made it all worse. Ive never seen an adult woman jump so far

So its even worse now. They think I live like a pig and theyre constantly talking about the cat hair and how my house smells It doesnt!!! I swear to you its not smelly And I keep it clean. The litter boxes are always scooped and cleaned weekly. And I vaccum at least 2 times a week, and always before company comes over. And the rest of it is relatively clean, ya know? I mean you couldnt do the white glove treatment but they act like I live in squalor just because of the cats. They were never like this before I had cats but now even though I clean just as much as before (and probably even better because of the cats) they act like theyre too good for my house

I really want a 4th cat. I would love another one. I would love more than that! And I have room for it. I have a big house. And I can afford it. I can easily treat 4 or 5 cats with regular vet checkups and even the occasional emergency. So thats not a problem. Its my mean, screwy family that doesnt like most animals in general, but loathes cats. So when I casually mention getting a 4th cat they all gasp and talk about all the negative things and how I'll be the crazy cat lady and how DD wont want her friends to come over, or how no one will want to visit me or that I cant have house guests as it is because of the filth. Do you want to see pictures of my house? Its pretty damn clean

Does anyone else have to deal with this? It makes me so mad and shames me. I really hate my family for acting this way and treating me so crummy when it comes to this. In any and every other way they have never acted like this. But its like cats are equal to the devil or something crazy like that
post #2 of 40
Look at the bright side. You'll never have to worry about having unwanted company. You might want to do this: When you have "cat haters" over, make it an outside activity like BBQing. Then they have nothing to complain about.

Our cats are family too and they live with us. Extended family doesn't. The cat "gift" was unfortunate, but those things happen. Timing is everything.

Please see my signature.

post #3 of 40
First of all, I say get another kitty if that's what YOU want If they are that unhappy with you having 3 cats, I don't see where getting a 4th could make it that much worse, right? At least your happy. Second, I also hate people that assume that cats are dirty. I am a very clean person and my apartment has never smelled bad because of Dori. But I have had people say 'doesn't your apartment smell because you have a dirty cat' I don't understand what is going through their mind. It must be hard for you because it is your family members though. If you want to have a good relationship with them and spend time with them you might have to start meeting them somewhere else, or give in and have visits at their house. I know that really sucks and is unfair, but it doesn't sound like you are going to be able to convince them all to change their minds about your babies. The other alternative, and I say this ONLY if you are fed up to the point you don't care, is to have the "their loss" attitude. If they don't want to come visit or come to an understanding with you about the cats then oh well, their loss. Don't worry about it anymore. Invite them over and if they make excuses or refuse then you did your part and made the attempt right? (I hope me stating this option doesn't make me look like a bad person, I have only learned to have this attitude recently and it was over a situation with a friend of mine)

That story you told about the poop was sooo funny, I mean, they are family, shouldn't that be one of those funny stories that you talk about at bar b q's years from now and laugh?

Good luck with the situation, I really hope it all works out!
post #4 of 40
Suddenly I'm very glad that both my parents like cats. I'm not sure I would even want them over if they didn't and couldn't keep their mouths shut about it. In fact if someone came over and talked bad about my cats I simply wouldn't invite them again. It sucks that it's your family though, that would have to make it hard.

And definately get another cat if that is what you want. Obviously you have given it a lot of thought and have the needed resources for another. And if anyone has a problem with it tough kitty turds.
post #5 of 40
I have 2 indoor cats and my house is cleaner than my sister's, who has a dog. In fact, my house smells fresher than hers! My dad will make faces when he uses the bathroom, which is where the litter box is.

But ya know what, this is my house. I am no longer under their roof, therefore under their rules. If I want to wait 3 days before washing my dinner dishes, then I can wait 3 days! (Promise, I don't) If I can afford to have 47 cats, then I'll have 47 cats. They can't say anything about it. And if they don't want to come over because of it, then I say YIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! That means I don't have to worry about buying drinks and chips and stuff I don't normally buy that I don't eat just so I can entertain them! I'll entertain my friends who aren't going to b*tch at me! And for the people who complain that your house is filthy, dare them to find it.
post #6 of 40
My mother and dad stopped visiting us several years ago. When pressed as to why, I was told "You have to many animals!" Well gee, my dad is the one who taught me to love and respect animals in the first place. But my mother likes everything in it's place and when you have cats, a lot of cats, such a thing is not possible.

Yes, I have cat hair on my sofa, on my bed, on the floor, under the fridge, in my lungs- But you know, I wouldn't trade one of my cats for the world. They bring us laughter and joy, and we do worry about them from time to time. They make us giggle and feel good and celebrate that we are alive. Somehow, my family has never had that type of impact on me.
post #7 of 40
I forgot to add in on my post, my boyfriend felt like that originally about cats, that they were dirty and so on. Now that we have Dori his whole attitude has changed. Someone was complaining about her rubbing on their leg one day and he said "this is her house too" It was so cute and I was so proud of him for standing up for her. When we chose to get pets, our house becomes theirs and I think they have rights just like we do to be comfortable in their surroundings.
post #8 of 40
Cat hair.
the gift that keeps on giving.

I look at cat hair this way.
No matter where we go we always carry our furry kids with us.
Sue and I ceased caring what people thought about our having animals years ago. It wasn't worth the bother.
post #9 of 40
Your story about the poop was funny! Cat poops do occasionally show up in odd places. I have found that one of my cats doesn't cover his, so when it dries it doesn't really have litter on it. On a few occasions they've flung them out and played with them, thereby causing them to show up in rather unconventional spots.

My worst cat poop story was only about a month ago. DH had some friends coming over to exercise and when he went to get the door it was discovered that our 5 yo siamese had dropped a big load (like a cigar!) right in front of the door for him to step on when he greeted his company!!! In five years he's never done anything like that, but we'd moved litterboxes around and I think he was already anticipating pooping, got confused and he just went there.
post #10 of 40
Oh, and cat dislikers are a drag, sorry your family is bringing you down. I have a few like that in my family, too, but not as close as yours.
post #11 of 40
It hurts more because it is family. But, it won't hurt forever, if one my cats left that would be much worse. My daughter in law hates cats, plus she is allergic to them. They only come once a year and as far as I am concerned that is once too many. Last time they came my two littlest ones were only 10 weeks old, so self confident and friendly and Buttons jumped up onto the arm of the chair next to her and she THREW her onto the floor. I was livid. She could at least have put her down gently. All I can say is PLEASE DON'T COME ANY MORE!! I never invite them round, which is sad because that means I never see my son either. But he doesn't need me and my furbabes do, they are my family now.

One of my friends came to see me last Thursday evening and my babes had been having a royal time. They had torn two tickling sticks to shreds and there was a mixture of red and green feathers all over the lounge floor, Tara had done one of her 'I love your files' and ripped the thing to shreds, which mingled in with the bright feathers. Then a knock came on the door. I let my 'friend' in and she went on one alright. 'You can't let them carry on like this'. I said 'Like what'. Goodness me they had only been playing, it's not like dirt just a bit of feathers and cardboard. I really don't care if she doesn't like it she doesn't need to come. I am clean, my house is clean, my babes play, so what. If I'd wanted an ornament I would have bought one. Don't let them get you down just go and get your next kittie. Good Luck.
post #12 of 40
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the replies. I wish I could be more firm in my convictions, its just hard because it is family. If it was just a friend I could be more bold and do the "If you dont like it too bad" thing. Im almost to that point with family, but its frustrating that it even has to be that way at all. With my mom, we've at least come to an understanding. She tolerates the cats ok and when she complains about smells or something I complain about her cigarette smoke at her house. So we're even. But my dad/stepmom and sister all have impeccable, very clean houses. Ive never really been up to their standards anyway, now it is just heightened.

I thought the poop thing could have been funny too! Anyone else and it may have been hilarious. I was just mortified because they are so prim and proper and nothing bothers them more than germs. But I did get a sick laugh at it after they left.

Im dreading the uproar if I get another cat. They find anything possible to say why its bad. I was talking about how nice a house was that I saw the other day and my sister snuck in "Well if you get another cat you'll ruin your chance". What does that have to do with the quality of a house?
Its so annoying
post #13 of 40
Originally Posted by grampngram
Cat hair.
the gift that keeps on giving.

I look at cat hair this way.
No matter where we go we always carry our furry kids with us.
Sue and I ceased caring what people thought about our having animals years ago. It wasn't worth the bother.
The way I see cat hair: Since my Munchie boy died, I will NEVER not pick a cat up because I will get hair on me. I love my cats, they love me. Yes, I am allergic - but so what. Their hair is a visible sign of that love!
post #14 of 40
Geez...put your foot down! I sort of have the same problem with my mother-in-law...she doesn't want ANY animals in her house because she is so anal about having fur on her new floors! She constantly tells me that when Zack and I move we shouldn't have any indoor cats...yada yada yada...because I shouldn't have all the cat fur and litter around children. Where do people come in and have the right to say all this?! I just walk out of the room when she tells me that. I don't like it when ANYONE tells me what to do. I am 22 years old... I can decide if I want cats or not. Grrrr....and I keep a decent house...and yes I may have dog and cat fur laying around sometimes...but it doesn't bother me....we are happy with our babies and I would never give them away because of a little mess.

I say...get a 4th cat and tell them that you don't want any of their smart remarks and don't listen...people are going to think what they want...just do what please you and no one else!!!
post #15 of 40
I can kind of understand how non-cat-lovers feel, because I am not a dog lover. I dislike having dogs at people's houses, however I am never mean to them or insulting to them. Despite my opinion on dogs, they are part of the family to these people and I respect them as such. (Well, as much as you can respect someone who's smelling your crotch. ) Most of my friends also know how I feel about dogs and won't let their dogs jump on me repeatedly. (It's not just a dislike, I'm also kind of scared of them due to bad early experiences with dogs.)
My view has always been that you are a guest in their house and you have to respect the residents (ALL the residents!)

I agree with the previous posters, get another kitty if you want!
post #16 of 40
Your relatives don't want to see my house this week then

Jeeps is imprisoned in the living room because of her spay surgery. I came home from work to find litter strewn liberally all over the carpet (nice ), two shredded newspapers in a neat little pile by the door, a tipped water bowl, food smeared all over the food tray and an angelic looking 'it wasn't me' cat

It took about five minutes to clean up and brought a huge smile to my face because she's obviously feeling more like herself.

I'm lucky cos my mother in law, my mother and her boyfriend and my dad ALL have cats.

Don't let them get you down, I'll bet your kitty cats planted the poop just to wind them up A little bit of cat hair is to be expected
post #17 of 40
Jeeperscat I love that. Sounds like what I come home to. What would we do without them.
post #18 of 40
My boyfriend "claims" to be allergic to cats, and openly admits to disliking them. He's been in my three cat home with no reaction. One day we went to the animal shelter and went in to the cat room and ...no reaction. I honestly think he made it up that he's allergic to cats. But in any case, over time he has come to realise how much my cat means to me and is letting me bring him to his apartment to live soon. Which is a good thing, because I'm not a huge dog fan and if he wants to get one (which he does) then he'll have to compromise.

The thing about dogs is that they kinda smell, leave a residue on your hands after petting them and try to lick your face. Ew. But I think if I were to raise one from puppyhood I would probably love it very much.
post #19 of 40
Originally Posted by Lynx
My boyfriend "claims" to be allergic to cats, and openly admits to disliking them. He's been in my three cat home with no reaction. One day we went to the animal shelter and went in to the cat room and ...no reaction. I honestly think he made it up that he's allergic to cats. But in any case, over time he has come to realise how much my cat means to me and is letting me bring him to his apartment to live soon. Which is a good thing, because I'm not a huge dog fan and if he wants to get one (which he does) then he'll have to compromise.

The thing about dogs is that they kinda smell, leave a residue on your hands after petting them and try to lick your face. Ew. But I think if I were to raise one from puppyhood I would probably love it very much.

I love both Mittens and Watson (my german shepherd the same) but I have to agree Watson is a little messier with his slobbering and much much more fur and he thinks he is still a puppy at 4 years and 60 pounds...lol
post #20 of 40
Forget anyone like that. Just remember one of my favorite qoutes: "No outfit is complete without cat hair" If anyone is going to make you unhappy,just forget them. you are inportant,and if cats make you happy,like they do to me,then go for it!
post #21 of 40
I just have to laugh, because this is one of the chief reasons I got rid of my hubby!
Not really, but I grew up w/cats, and he grew up w/a dog, though he's allergic to both. He IS horribly allergic to cats, though: when he would come to visit me (and my then five cats at my mom's house) he would take a 12-hr allergy tablet before he left home so by the time he arrived at my house 20 minutes later it was already working. After just 4 hours, though, he would have itchy eyes, runny nose, the whole nine yards and he would have to leave. I always thought it was just 'cuz my mom was a horrible housekeeper and didn't vacuum enough (twice a month, maybe - didn't set the greatest example, but I love her anyway) So I married him anyway, thinking eventually we'd find a cat he didn't react so badly to and all would be well. Didn't realize he just wasn't a "cat person" besides being allergic. I tried fostering a cat for a friend once when hubby was deployed overseas for about six weeks, and sent the cat back when I found out he was coming home (I DIDN'T say a word about the cat to him), washed the sheets, dusted and vacuumed like mad, all but behind the furniture. He came home, and inside ten minutes he was sneezing. He looked at me and said, "You had a CAT in here while I was gone, didn't you?"
Just wasn't meant to be I guess, but I'm just as glad to be rid of him for other reasons. My new screening process will be "Love me, Love my cat!!!!"
post #22 of 40
Good on you Rica Lynn that would be my top priority too.
post #23 of 40
I agree - we are a package deal !!! Beside me other theory is that Loki was here before you and he will be here after you leave!!!
post #24 of 40
Good on you Helen
post #25 of 40
LOL! I loved the "poop story"! My side of the family consists of pet freaks - everybody has their personal zoo. My husband grew up without pets, but knew he was getting a "package deal" when we married. That was almost 24 years ago, and my father-in-law (who turned 80 today) is absolutely phobic about pets. He refuses to eat in our house because of dog or cat hair, and is petrified of any pet(s), particularly because they sense his fear and terrorize him. So we have BBQs we invite him to, and otherwise don't bother. The funniest thing is that he tells my mother-in-law that I have a "mania for cleaning", and calls my brother-in-law's wife (another pet-hater) a "dirty slob". Go figure - he eats at their house, and complains about the dirt and mess, and thinks our house is "too clean", but won't eat here because we have animals in the house? Nothing like a little bit of logic????
post #26 of 40
I used to have problems with my parents complaining when they came over. They didn't dislike cats, but they didn't understand them. I think in my parent's case it helped when they spent some time cat sitting for a neighbor who was on vacation, (the cats stayed in the neighbor's house, of course.)

You need to let your family know it's your house and your life. Tell them that if you want to get a fourth cat, it's a decision you alone will make and they don't have anything to say about it. Be firm!!!!!!
post #27 of 40
My bro is a total cat hater. When I got my cat he made stupid comments about keeping the cat far away from him when he came over and all that. So when I moved back into my parents place and brought the cat he was one bitter borther.

He makes a big deal over little things Emmett does, like sleeping in the sink, or eating from my fork, but every once in awhile I catch him throwing a toy mouse for Em or talking to him.

My dad didn't care for cats when I moved back home, now Em is one of his boys.

About getting another cat....GO FOR IT!!!!! Its your place, if they don't like it only see them when they invite you to their places. Your family is making too much of a big deal over a little thing. If you love the cats (and we know you do) keep them, and get more. Cats are like potato chips, you can't just have one.
post #28 of 40
Oh my god!! I can hardly read about these people who think cats are dirty or make our houses dirty. They make me so angry!! I find people like this are the reason so many poor animals are without homes in shelters because we have so many uncaring/materialistic people in this world. So sad, but true. Luckily, I'm an only child with a very small family and my parents are not the fussy type. My boyfriend's family are not animal people and rarely come over. If ANYONE ever made those comments though to me they would never be welcome in my house. I think the world of Sash, he's the king here. I would much rather visit a house with 10 cats or more than dirty kids running around misbehaving or worse yet a cold empty house with no pets. I certainly say get a fourth cat!! Sorry, I feel very strongly about these things.

Lisa & Sash
post #29 of 40
Hehe . . . I had a thought . . . get a cat that kinda looks like one of your three cats you already have (preferably one that's shy, if you have any shy kitties), with one key difference, like a spot on the chest or something, and don't tell your relatives. Chances are they won't see both cats at the same time, if one of them is shy. If they ask you if you got another cat, get a blank look on your face and say, "No, why? That's so-and-so, he/she's always had a white spot." They'll think they're going nuts. It would work on most of my family, anyway, lol.

Seriously, though . . . it's your house, your life, your kitties. Do what you want. I moved out on my own at 16, and ever since my foot was out the door for the last time, my parents, and the rest of my family, have had no illusions about who's in charge of my life and my home. Having outdoor activities when family comes over is a good idea, like someone said earlier. If you live close enough that visits are a day trip, meet out somewhere, like a restaurant. Either that or they'll eventually learn that you aren't going to budge, and just accept your kitties for what they are: an important part of your life. I know it's not easy being at odds with family, but you have to stick up for yourself, or it'll only get worse. (((HUGS)))
post #30 of 40
Ain't families wonderful?? MY parents have 5 dogs and they don't mind my cats and dogs one bit. Before they come over, I vacuum, dust and scoop the litter boxes. I also move the one out of the bathroom, into the laundry room. We haven't shown Mom the picture of Opie, licking the bacon skillet on the stove.

Christmas, I was worried that Sam might not want the twins crawling on my living room carpet and shampooed it, one week before and vacuumed Christmas Eve AND Christmas morning. I shouldn't have worried - Mark and Sam have two Dalmatians and a bird. The twins pick up spilled birdseed and eat it. I would draw the line there but, Fizzy and Izzy are THEIR kids.

It comes down to: OUR house, OUR pets, OUR rules. Its YOUR house - you can have as many pets, as you can afford to care for.
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