New Evening Classes For Men Only! All Are Welcome!

Got this in an email yesterday.

Do you know anyone that needs to enroll? Classes are filling up quickly!
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration.

1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS. Step by step with slide presentation.

2. TOILET PAPER: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion.

3: DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR. Practicing with hamper. Pictures and graphics.

4. THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among panel of experts.

5. LOSS OF VIRILITY: LOSING THE REMOTE CONTROL TO YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Help line and support groups.

6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING. Open forum.

7. HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH. PowerPoint presentation.

8. REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST. Real-life testimonial from the one man who did.

9. IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation.

10. LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE. Online class and role playing.

11. HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

12. REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE. Bring your calendar or PDA to class.

13. GETTING OVER IT. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME. Individual counselors available

I WOULD ADD...

14.RETURNING TOILET SEAT TO DOWN POSITION 101- PREVENT FEMALE GENDER DROWNING. LIVE DEMONSTRATIONS WITH BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 6 WEEK COURSE.

OMG this is to funny ROTFLMAO

Outstanding!



Perhaps they might add a summer course

How to find the trash can in three easy steps?

Hmm, how about: "Women: More than a Bra Size" ?

I suppose they have to start somewhere!

There should also be a MAINENENCE CLASS , RECERTIFICATION CLASS, or something like an AA support group for those who might fall off the wagon.

Originally Posted by hissy

Outstanding!



Perhaps they might add a summer course

How to find the trash can in three easy steps?

Click to expand...

You are to much Hissy , I almost spillt my coffee reading this

Well I just might be able to absorb a modicum of manners from that class, but since there's no women in it, I'd never sign up in the first place. I think I'll stick to the Chinese cooking classes. My chances fare much better there.

16. MANNERS 101: HOW TO BEHAVE LIKE A GENTLEMAN - open class with live instruction and practice sessions.

17. IN-LAWS: HOW NOT TO ANNOY THEM - open group with support groups and counselors available.

18. HANGING OUT WITH THE BOYS (OR FRIENDS): HOW TO DO IT WITHOUT GETTING A BAD RAP - ongoing course with support group.

For those with more time and money on their hand you could take the 2 year degree program instead.

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Becoming A Real Man. That's right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real man -- as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:

MEN 101 Combatting Stupidity
MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS -- Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas

Winter Schedule:

MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:

MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers

SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:

SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
MEN 201 How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 202 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down Elective (See electives Below)

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise, Especially When Naked
MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1

Spring Schedule:

MEN 220 Omitting :censor::censor::censor::censor: from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

Course Electives:

EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu
EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231 Mothers-in-Law
MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"
ECON 001B Cheaper to Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001A)