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Opinions from adult members needed

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I feel a little silly about this, and want some opinions from people in, or that have had, long term relationships. Here goes.....I just can't stand it when my s/o reads what I am posting. It infuriates me. I don't have anything to hide from him, and he could easily log on and read any of it, it just makes me mad when he reads over my shoulder. I shut down my computer and leave the room when he does this. He does not invade my privacy, he just is usually sitting there, as our computers are in the same room. Is this silly? I think it is, but I just can't help it.
post #2 of 20
I agree, it has always peeved me too, but my ex and I were in agreement on it at least.

Ask him if he would like you to read over his shoulder the next time he writes a letter to a friend or reads a book he's enjoying (since I know for most men writing is a lost art) What's good for the goose. . .
post #3 of 20
DH does that sometimes, too, although he does try to make me not notice.

I just come right out and tell him what I think. I don't have anything to hide and he knows that, too, but he gets my point REALLY quick like.

I think some men are just a little more insecure even though I am sure it has nothing to do with you.
post #4 of 20
Think they are just plain nosey
post #5 of 20
Being that this is a public forum, and as much time as I spend here Earl definitely knows where to find me, I don't mind if he reads what I post. But if he were reading over my shoulder, yeah that would irritate me to no end. I guess it comes down to "sneaking a peek" or just sharing. If he's not sneaking, then I don't have a problem with it. If I'm confronted about something I post as I walk in the door from work, or if he's trying to hide looking, then I'd be mad.
post #6 of 20
I do it all the time Heidi, don't even concern yourself about it. It isn't that I am trying to hide anything, but since he has retired, we spend 24/7 with each other and this is the only place where I can just have privacy. Seriously, if I go upstairs to read (and escape) in minutes he is wandering all over the house looking for me. For cripes sakes, where can I go? I can go on the Internet, so I do!
post #7 of 20
My s/o sometimes will start to "clean" the fish tank right next to my computer while I am typing. I guess It really doesn't bother me much. I'm used to it, I do it to him also but not as much, I'm not very interested in what he's doing unless he's playing a game, then it peaks my curiosity and I have to sneak a peak, he doesn't seem to mind and if he does he doesn't say. Don't let it bother you. and if it really does, say something. that's the only way he'll know for sure you know??
post #8 of 20
YES, YES, YES it bugs the crap out of me ! I don't mind him reading, in fact, I encourage it, but I cannot stand for him (or anyone else, for that matter)to read over my shoulder w/o me asking him to for some reason.
post #9 of 20
I don't really mind it. My boyfriend sometimes watches what I write on forums, but I do it to him too. Usually just out of curiosity to see what eachother is up to. When I'm at his house, we are right next to eachother when on the internet. Like right now. I could turn my head and kiss him.
post #10 of 20
Oh yes, that bother's me. I can't think what I'm doing if someone is standing over and watching me. I hate that. I don't mind sharing alot of stuff I do with my boyfriend when I'm finished, but I prefer privacy while I'm reading or posting on something.

Lisa & Sash
http://pages.ivillage.com/lisalee992 (Sash's website)
post #11 of 20
I realize it's a public board and all, but to sit there and read over a person's shoulder uninvited is disrupting your 'me' time.

Is he all that interested in what's going on here, or just interested because you are taking part in it?
post #12 of 20
It bugs the crap out of me when someone does that to me too. I totally understand how you feel. Maybe tell him if he wants to read what your posting to log on himself, make a user name and participate on the boards. This will let him know you're not trying to hide anything but it bothers you to have someone watching over your shoulder. Chances are, he won't sign up but he'll leave you alone!
post #13 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by krazy kat2
I feel a little silly about this, and want some opinions from people in, or that have had, long term relationships. Here goes.....I just can't stand it when my s/o reads what I am posting. It infuriates me. I don't have anything to hide from him, and he could easily log on and read any of it, it just makes me mad when he reads over my shoulder. I shut down my computer and leave the room when he does this. He does not invade my privacy, he just is usually sitting there, as our computers are in the same room. Is this silly? I think it is, but I just can't help it.
[color=DarkRed][b] Two words come to mind: CONTROL ISSUE
OKAY MORE THAN ONE WORD HE'S NOT RESPECTING YOUR BOUNDRIES :nod
TELL HIM WHETHER IT'S A GROCERY LIST, OR ONLINE STUFF, YOU DESERVE RESPECT! THAT'S PART OF LOVE!
post #14 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzjazz2u
It bugs the crap out of me when someone does that to me too. I totally understand how you feel. Maybe tell him if he wants to read what your posting to log on himself, make a user name and participate on the boards. This will let him know you're not trying to hide anything but it bothers you to have someone watching over your shoulder. Chances are, he won't sign up but he'll leave you alone!
I agree!

Actually, Rob and I often read over each other's shoulders -- but NOT without an invitation to do so, and that's the difference.
post #15 of 20
I don't like anyone looking over my shoulder.

When i lived with my ex boyfriend, if a txt came through on my mobile he would usually say "whos that?". I never used to ask him if his phone went off. But what i used to say to him was " It's on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know!".
post #16 of 20
My boyfriend and I live together and our computers are next to eachother. He sometimes looks over my shoulder at what I am doing, and I do the same thing. Not all the time and it's not a matter of checking to make sure the other isn't doing anything wrong, it's just curiosity I guess. It has never been a big deal to either one of us. I don't even think about it. Sometimes he will even pick on me about what I post. He thinks it's funny I post on a "cat site" and I think it's dumb he is obsessed with some 4x4 forum

BUT, if it is your decision that you do not want him reading over your shoulder and he does it anyway I understand your frustration. He is not respecting your space.

KRAZY KAT'S s/o of you are reading this give her a smooch and step away from the computer. Looking over her shoulder is a no no
post #17 of 20
Don't know that I can say much more than what's already been said here. I don't think you're being silly that this bothers you. I would definately make it known to him that it bothers you and that it's a matter of respect and not that you're trying to hide anything. Set your boundaries firmly and then hopefully he will respect them. Do you do the same thing to him? If not, maybe ask him how he would feel if you did, maybe it wouldn't bother him, who knows. Have you asked him why he does this?
post #18 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirtle
My boyfriend and I live together and our computers are next to eachother. He sometimes looks over my shoulder at what I am doing, and I do the same thing. Not all the time and it's not a matter of checking to make sure the other isn't doing anything wrong, it's just curiosity I guess. It has never been a big deal to either one of us. I don't even think about it. Sometimes he will even pick on me about what I post. He thinks it's funny I post on a "cat site" and I think it's dumb he is obsessed with some 4x4 forum

BUT, if it is your decision that you do not want him reading over your shoulder and he does it anyway I understand your frustration. He is not respecting your space.

KRAZY KAT'S s/o of you are reading this give her a smooch and step away from the computer. Looking over her shoulder is a no no
Oh dear, my hunny laughed and laughed at my username! He also thinks it's funny that I post here.
post #19 of 20
Haha! I understand how all of you feel. With me I tell the hubby, that's it's my turn and my time. He knows I'm joking, 'cause I have nothing to hide. But we know each other to where we won't bother. It's cool!
post #20 of 20
It bugs me when anyone reads over my shoulder, my other half doesn't bother, he knows that he can read the boards whenever he wants. I have to admit looking over his shoulder though....... when he's playing his online games (Jedi Academy etc.).
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