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OMG...my little sister just got diagnosed with breast cancer

post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 
They are talking about a full mastectomy, which suggests that it is beyond just the first stage.

I think I'm going to throw up.

post #2 of 46
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. Although breast cancer seems like something they can fix with all the studies being done. Any cancer is horrible and I am sorry your sister and you and your family have to go through this. I just lost my aunt do to lung cancer. I have heard that with the mastectomy many people do make it. Feel free to write me if you want or just to rant!
post #3 of 46
That word "cancer" even looks menacing. I lost my mom to breast cancer, my grandmother to leukemia and my dad to lung cancer/heart trouble. She must simply be panicked. I guess the only thing you can do for her is just be with her. She will need and shoulder or two and you can provide both if necessary. If YOU need extra shoulders or ears, we all have them here. Keep us informed if you'd like.
post #4 of 46
Oh Renae! I'm so sorry!!!!


I don't know if you've been through the cancer thing with your family, so I'll pass on a few bits that I learned when Mom was dealing with it.

First, the doctors are going to give you the worst case scenarios. They have to and they have to be very clinical to the point of sometimes seeming cold. They aren't doing it to be mean (even though that's how it feels sometimes). They will also recommend the most aggressive proceedures that they think are necessary to get rid of the cancer. Radical mastectomy may sound horrible, but they just want to get all that they can in one fail swoop.

I'm sure you know all of this, since you are a psychologist, but I'm going to say it anyway as a reminder. It's different when it happens to your own family. Your sister will go through all of the stages of grief. Just be there for her, and be strong. It's hard. It's really hard on everyone. But also don't deny yourself to grieve too (not for the loss of her, but for the changes in your family...). And ALLOW her to talk about it. This is going to be her world for a while, until she goes into remission. Yes, it's depressing as her family to be reminded of it, but she may need to talk about it to make it seem normal. (Hope that makes sense. And I hope I'm not offending you in any way...these were some things that I wish someone had told us when Mom was diagnosed....)
post #5 of 46
Oh no Renae, I'm so sorry to hear this. Please keep us posted.
post #6 of 46
I'll be praying for you and your family at this critical time.
post #7 of 46
Thread Starter 
Heidi, you aren't insulting me at all. You are right that it is very different when it is your own family going through something like this.

I just went back and re-read the e-amil from my sister (yes, I found out by e-mail....that's just like my family!). The news doesn't sound as bad as I initially thought it did. Apparently, the surgeon found the "tiny" tumors completely by accident. They were checking out several calcifications and simply stumbled across these small tumors. They are going to do a mastectomy only because they are concerned that since the mammogram, ultrasound, and initial needle biopsy didn't find these little tumors, that there might be more of them in there. They will biopsy her lymph nodes next week to see whether it has spread, but they feel hopeful because the tumors were so small.

But...I'm still a puddle of emotions. I just cried in front of my secretary and am truly sick to my stomach.

Everyone, I am so glad you all are here to support me while my sister and the family goes through this. Having you here with me means a lot to me.
post #8 of 46
Oh Renae I am so sorry.

I hope they get it all the first time.

Mega hugs to you and your family.
post #9 of 46
Renae I don't know what to say to you. But I'm sorry and sending lots of love to you
I am also trying to put some hearts in message but I have a problem in getting them up
post #10 of 46
Renea, I'm so sorry! Please know that your family, your sister & you are in my thoughts and my prayers!

Stay Strong for her! She's going to need someone during this time!

Please keep us posted, ok?
post #11 of 46
Both my sisters have fought the breast cancer fight. Nancy also developed bone cancer, but it was not related to the other.

One of the best things that helped me out to help them through it was a website set up by a friend of mine. It takes the reality of what the woman has to look at and just puts it in perspective.

I will warn you it is very moving- if you decide you are strong enough to read it, bring kleenix-

You and your sister are now in my prayers


Linda is a true survivor she put this together to help others. I hope it helps you my friend-
post #12 of 46
I am so sorry, I can understand some of what you are feeling - my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer just before the holidays last Fall. If you ever want to pm me on what I've learned in researching things for her, please do. I found the susan g. komen site to be one of several that were very helpful in understanding staging, the types of tumors, usual treatment approaches.

To date, my mom has had a lumpectomy, further expansion of the margins, radiation and is now doing 8 sessions of chemo.

I wish your sister all the best,
post #13 of 46
I am so sorry to hear this Renae. I hope that your sister is able to fight this fight and win hands down. She is in my thoughts
post #14 of 46

I am so sorry to hear this. I wish her a speedy and complete recovery. A woman I used to work with was recently diagnosed, too.
post #15 of 46
Renae, MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR hugs and good vibes going out to you and your family!!

I too lost my mother to cancer. There's nothing I can add to what Heidi said except hang in there and let us know if there's anything we can do to help

post #16 of 46
Oh I am so so sorry! I hope you and your family can all find some strength to deal with this. I wish there was some way I could help. (((vibes and prayers for you, your sister and your family)))))
post #17 of 46
OMG! I'm so sorry! I'm sending positive vibes for strength to you and your family. And I'm sending extra-powerful healing vibes to your sister.

A young co-worker of mine was recently diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, (can't remember what type) and will undergo both radiation treatments and chemo. However, the cancer that was found is still very small and the doctors are optimistic about her chances. Hopefully, both my co-worker and your sister will have full recoveries, and have many years ahead of them.
post #18 of 46
Oh No!!!

Renae - Many big hugs to you and your family as your sister battls this dreaded cancer. You and your family - esp. your sister is in our thoughts and prayers and hoping she makes a full recover.

i also lost my grandmother to Breast cancer. Hang in there and please let us know how she is doing. {{{HUGS}}}
post #19 of 46
Renae, I have no advice to add to what's been given. I'm so sorry you and your sister and family have to go through this. Know that you'll all be in my prayers.
post #20 of 46
Renae I'm so sorry for your sister and your family.

Apart from The Cat Protection, Cancer Research is the main charity i put to as both my mother and brother had mouth cancer, but thank god
they won their battle.

Thankfully through research they have become more advanced and they have adverts on the tv here in the UK as well as posters saying there are more people now able to say the words " All Clear " than what there ever was!.

I'm sure the same will apply to where you live as our countries all seem to work together on issues such as this.

I'll still be praying for your sister, but if theres anything i can send, such as leaflets that we have over here in the UK on the subject just let me know!

Keep us updated

post #21 of 46
I'm so sorry to hear this awful news. (((HUGS))) to you, your sister and the rest of your family.
post #22 of 46
you are in my thoughts at this critical time
post #23 of 46
Renae I am so sorry to hear about the news. You and your sister are in my thoughts and prayers.
post #24 of 46
Thread Starter 
Thank you all so much for your kind words. I am amazed and saddened by how many members have lost a friend or family member to breast (or other) cancer. Like most other people, I always believed my family would be immune to this...denial is such a silly thing.

I will check out the web sites siggested, and I know I will be back to ask many questions of you who have gone through this with your loved one.

My sister is so young. She is only 41 years old! One son begins college in the Fall and the other will still be in High School. I can't imagine how awful it must be for them.
post #25 of 46
41 is no age at all, bless her.

I always used to think cancer was something people in their 70s/80s got until my friend who i went to school with caught breast cancer at 33!.

It was then that i realised how precious life was. She refused treatment and sadly died, if only she hadn't she would still be here!
post #26 of 46
I am really sorry to hear this, and I will keep you and your sister in my thoughts and prayers.

A little side note: one of the real estate agents' mother passed away last night. She had a colon cancer. She survived with it for a couple of years, but the last month it has been a rollercoaster for Judith (the daughter--the agent here).

Remember that you can help her by being there for her...many thoughts go to you and your family.
post #27 of 46
I'm so sorry to hear this news. You, your sister and family are in my thoughts.
post #28 of 46
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I lost my mother from Breast Cancer.
post #29 of 46
I am so sorry to hear about this. I don't know much about breast cancer and know of no one with it. But I want to send you many vibes to your sister.

post #30 of 46
oh no! im sorry to hear that...many thoughts and prayers for your sister
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