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post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Can anyone read anything into dreams for me as I had a strange one last night that has upset me today about my stepfather.

i dreamt that Clive was walking up the stairs and looking at me and he did not have his glasses on. Clive was very short sighted and had very thick lenses. I looked back at him with some part of an airplane in my hand and gave it to him. he studied it and I commented that he did not have his glasses on. he told me that he did not need glasses as he can see everything clearly now. I was thrilled.

Then I dreamt that I was talking to him and I told him that I did love him and in my own way, even though we had ups and downs - I always did. His words were.."thank you, I needed to know that, I really did, thank you" I hugged him.

The dream ended with me waking in tears and this was at 2.30 in the morning. Its had a knock on effect on me al morning as have been upset. My mother just told me that she dreams the same things as I do, but no one else does.

If anyone can read anything into it, would appreciate it. Its messed my head up this morning it really has.

Many thanks for listening. Sometimes,when low, I just need someone to talk to and you are the best people for that.

post #2 of 12
hey Kev, my colleague read your post and she told me that maybe your stepfather was here to take a look at you and your mom before moving to the other world. Maybe before he passed on, he didn't hear you and your mom saying that words of affection and he just wanted to hear it one last time..

i say, Kev, pray. i'm sure Clive can hear and he will always be there to hear your words of affection for him.
post #3 of 12
Kev, your stepdads been on your mind lately as well hasn't he?!.

A friend of mine does have a dream book, but she's waiting for it back from someone she loaned it to.

It would be lovely to think though that he's communicated with you through your dream!

post #4 of 12
I believe that when people pass on, they visit you via your dreams, to let you know that they are okay, that they love you.

Thats what I believe Clive is doing.
post #5 of 12
It could be that Clive came to say goodbye. He was walking up the stairs and that usually means he is moving on to a better, higher place (so I am told). I agree that he needed to hear you say you loved him and the plane you gave to him could be that you have now enabled him to move onto the next plane. He wants you to know he is happy, he can see now.
post #6 of 12
Thread Starter 
thanks for your responses - I dreamt again the night before last and to be honest its starting to get to me - was almost scared last night to goto sleep in case of what I dreamt in the night.
The latest was i was sat with Clive at a funeral and we were in a church talking. We chatted generally and then a woman came up and told Clive it was time to go and we hugged each other and then he walked over to his coffin.

Clive had no badness in him at all, he was a bit upset that my mother and I had fallen out whilst he was in hospital and he always said something along the lines that he would get me back for that. He said it to my mother and it was, as my mother has said, in the heat of the moment.

It is getting to the stage when in the middle of the night, I am getting quite distressed by these dreams. Carol said she saw me sat up that night with my chest and head pouring with sweat in the moonlight.

Its getting beyond me now. Really is.

My mother is thrilled in a way that i dream about Clive. She reckons we had a bond that she was not aware of. The fact was that we both looked out for each other when flying etc and were always aware if one of us was ill. Next month is our nationals flying event, that was the last time I saw Clive with a model, he became too ill after that day and never flew again. I know i ought to go and fly but have no interest in doing so.

I think I have lost it some where for sure in my head.

Thanks for listening

dreading bed time
post #7 of 12
Kev, you haven't lost it at all. It is all part of grieving. But perhaps the doctor could help with the dreams.
post #8 of 12
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by kev
Then I dreamt that I was talking to him and I told him that I did love him and in my own way, even though we had ups and downs - I always did. His words were.."thank you, I needed to know that, I really did, thank you" I hugged him.
A couple of weeks ago - I posted the afore mentioned as I was dreaming about my step father and it freaked me out completely. It was getting to the stage that I was getting nervy of what i may dream next. Anyway, I confess to not being into spiritual things that much - lost too many friends and faith has to be questioned at times.
I told my mother and explained in detail of what i had dreamt and she took a stack of notes. She went and saw a friend whose husband is dying from bladder cancer and is into this sort of thing.

She told my mother that Clive needed to know that I had feelings for him and that i did think a lot of him in my own way. After 20 years plus in ones life, you grow to love them in your own way. she told mum that I should be thrilled that Clive had come to me in a dream or two as it was and that hes still around - just not in a physical sense. She said that Clive and I had made our peace and that he knew now that I did love him. That he needed to know more than anything else and thats why I dreamt so vividly about him. I am unsure if relatives can come back but if he did in my head, then I guess we made our peace, he wanted to know he was loved by me and he was happy at that.
The lady told my mother I should be privellaged that Clive thought enough of me to come back in dreams and now that Clive was happy and loved, I would never dream the same sort of dream about him again.
To this date, i have not dreamt the same dreams anymore and neither have I dreamt about Clive. In a sense I am dissapointed and hurt that I have not as dont want him to leave my head or dreams or me. He was a large influence in my life and I owe him a lot.
I dont have any confidence to fly at the moment my airplanes - I guess that it will come in time.
Is there "closure" at the end of it all? If there is - is this what I went through and what if you dont want closure and them to leave you.

Many thanks

Guessing that its all over - for now.
post #9 of 12

i remember when my grandfather past away, the ash of the joss sticks which we used to light for him would always curl up.. to me it represented that my grandfather was nearby. Many years later, I would still cry over his passing and i couldn't find a closure to that. One day, my grandfather appeared in my dream, together with my grandma and other granduncles who passed on too.. in that dream i remember so vividly that I saw the old dog that they used to have but died before I was even born. They were all smiling at me and waving goodbyes to me... I knew from then on, they are moving to somewhere better... after that dream, the ashes of joss sticks never curled again. To me, this was the best closure i could have.To know that they are in a better place and all of them have reunited.

post #10 of 12
Kev, you are still grieving and you have to allow yourself that. There is no time set on it, for everyone it is different, although similar. Just give yourself space and time. I promise you in time it gets better and you will feel able to get on with your life fully.
post #11 of 12
Kev, I would have reacted much like your mother's friend. I would find such dreams reassuring, not disturbing. Over the years I have done a great deal of reading about "near death experiences," and this has influenced my beliefs about what happens at actual death, as well.

I lost my husband almost a year ago. No, I never dreamed about him afterward, nor did I "see" him, as so many say of their close relatives who have passed. But from the very start, when I "felt his presence," I'd say, "It's okay, dear. I'll miss you, but I'll be all right. Don't feel that you must stay around here to look after me. You probably have work to do on the next level, so feel free to move on." But you see, my husband was 82 years old, and had suffered years of serious ill health. And in his last month here, there were many indications that he was ready to go. All this made it much easier for me to "give him permission" to move on.

Yes, you are still working through your grief. There are many factors about your own situation which influence how easy or difficult it will be for you to give your stepfather that same permission. Let it happen. In it's own time. It is okay to grieve.
post #12 of 12

My personal belief is that those who have passed on are always with you. You won't see them, but you will feel their presence or see something that will remind you of them. My grandfather used to have this groan as he got out of a chair...I hear it every once in a while at night.

I have also learned that if you want to talk to your stepfather again in your dreams, just think about him before you go to sleep. Maybe even have a little talk with him beforehand. It works.

Your dreams were his way of telling you that everything is ok. He knows how you feel. He feels the same.


PS....many, many years ago, I had a dream that I was in this big attic with a very large grandfather clock that wasn't working. All around me were my relatives that had crossed. My uncle (who had died that morning) came up the stairs and told me to go back downstairs cause my Mom was looking for me. I asked him how he climbed the stairs and his answer was "easier than in life"
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